Oh YES...it can happen to you!
I left that out. Our BM loves that $1500 a month and she's not parting with it. So I'm pretty safe. Thank God. I never thought I'd find the silver lining in the CS shakedown but if ever there was one, this would be it. LOL
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I copied this from another post. I remember when I felt this way also!!
Our BM loved the money and the control. AND she may it quite clear for many years that SS was her BFF. They were attached at the hip. It was actually kind of sick how close they were/are.
When SS was 15, he and BM went and moved a few hours away. YAY for me!! I did the happy dance and finally agreed to marry/live with my now DH. (after 8 years of just dating!) I agreed to this because I just knew that BM would never give up her BFF and her gravy train and now BM and SS were hours away. Life could not get any better!
THEN…less than a year after we married, SS decides he really wants to live with daaaaaddy now!! BM happily agreed and even paid CS to DH. (even though she was terrible at paying!) It was the most bizarre turn of events I have ever seen!!
So please…all of you that think it will NEVER happen to you…it can. And probably will if the skids are boys.
Discuss all of these scenarios before getting married or living with a man with kids. I knew it could happen and I never would have told DH that his kid could not live with him. Just be aware.
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Comments
LOL!! I will! At least my
LOL!! I will!
At least my SS was older when we got him...but it was a terrible two years that he lived with us. Nothing like what some of these women put up with, but bad enough. good luck!
We have SS now and I wasn't
We have SS now and I wasn't sure if I wanted him, but now it is okay and he is thriving in our household. If SD16 wanted to ever come back, I am out of here....I think it depends on the child.
Yep, my DH's son did this-he
Yep, my DH's son did this-he was 16 when he decided that he might "try" living with Dad for a while. It did not last long, because DH had rules, and my DH's kids do not think rules apply to them. Thanks, BM!
As bad as my adult skids are, the fact that I do not have to live with them is key. It would never work. I firmly believe that if they were young(er) when DH and I met, I would have run.
I agree with you, Willow. You never know if the skids will come to live with you. Even if it is not by choice....say the BM gets very ill or dies. These are things that I think a lot of people do not want to think about, but I feel that you have to. You have to be prepared.
OTOH, my MIL said to me, "What if the kids HAVE to come with you....what if BM loses the house or passes away?" I said, "The 'kids' are adults. They do not HAVE to come here, and they will never come here." But, she would be right if they were younger.....
OMG - all I can do is hope
OMG - all I can do is hope and pray SD14 never wants to live with us, EVER. I honestly don't know what I'd do
You would need medication and
You would need medication and therapy.
Or a bullet and a gun - to
Or a bullet and a gun - to put MYSELF out of my misery! Oh wait, I DO have guns...AND bullets...
Just make her existence at
Just make her existence at your house a living hell...THAT should do the trick
My BF and I have already had
My BF and I have already had this "talk". He is well aware that I don't EVER want his kid living with us, he knows all of the reasons why and he AGREES with me. He also does not want his son to live with us, we both agree that paying BM 920.00 a month in CS is the lesser of two evils in regards to not having to deal with the stress/bullshit of having skid full time. Not to mention that BM's kids (5 kids, 4 diff men) are her meal ticket to paying for her materialistic lifestyle...Plus he also knows that if that were the case I would be G.O.N.E!!! I understand (barf) that he needs to do the "daddy thing" but I don't and won't live with that kid or put up with him anymore than I already/will have to.
Thank God my BF and I are on the same page on that one...what a relief!!!!