Oh, really? Ok, then, ASS!

Last night was a counseling night. It was a pretty good session with Therapist once again reiterating to DH that ASS is responsible for the choices he makes, not DH. That DH has given ASS the tools he needs to succeed - a great school system, structure, adequate food and shelter, access to electronics and the like - and that ASS has rejected every single one, except for school.

Speaking of school, ASS applied to one of our state Universities. It's not a top tier school, but it's a good school. ASS was awarded a $6000 per year scholarship when he was accepted. He was also invited to participate in a scholarship competition offered by the university. 500 kids were invited. The average GPA in the group was 3.9 and the average ACT score was 32. ASS's GPA is 3.8 (he doesn't take any AP or Honors courses) and his ACT score was 30.

DH took ASS to University Town for the competition on November 7. The competition was an essay on a certain topic. Of the 500 kids, 150 will get full scholarships for room and board plus a stipend for books for 4 years. 75 will get full scholarships for tuition for 4 years. Students who are not given one of these scholarships will still receive the $6000 per year that they received upon admission. ASS thinks he did well. DH thinks that since ASS doesn't have any Honors or AP courses, is not taking an Advanced Math class this year, has only one extracurricular activity (band, which is also a class) and has no community service in his background, that he won't be getting one of these scholarships. I think we don't know what could happen.

On the drive home, ASS asked DH if he (DH) was going to pay for his college. DH told him that we would do what we could, but that he would probably be taking out a loan. DH has saved nothing for ASS's college, Medusa cleaned out the kids' college funds after the divorce, and I am less than thrilled about helping out a kid who actively hates my guts. Having said that, even if DH could afford to pay for everything, he believes (as do I) that kids need some skin in the game and would have his kids take out a loan.

Upon hearing this, ASS said, "you owe me a college education, and if you're not paying for it, I am certainly not going into debt for it."

Oh, okay then, ASS....

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Yeah - it's a really, really

Yeah - it's a really, really good thing that I wasn't in that car.

We talked about it with Therapist last night. She just shook her head back and forth at the remarkable sense of entitlement.

OMG! What did your DH say to

OMG! What did your DH say to him?

Not much. He told him that

Not much. He told him that both he and I already have our degrees and if ASS really wanted one, he would be willing to do whatever it took to get it.

He also told him that he thought he was the most entitled brat he had ever seen.

Then it was silent for the remaining 90 minutes of the drive.

Can you believe that kid? We OWE him? He's not going into debt for his OWN education? Like he's the freaking King of Anything????

He did tell ASS that he was

He did tell ASS that he was the most entitled brat he had ever seen.

The remaining 90 minutes in the car were excruciating.

I am both lucky and smart. Asshat pays for Thing1 and Thing2's tuition and books. DD24 had the same situation. Because Asshat was an extremely high wage earner, I got a ridiculous amount of child support. I used it, and I know this is unheard of in the BM world, on the kids I put some away for them, I purchased cars, they each got really nice Spring Break trips. They all have loans. I do give them some money, but they also contribute via their loans.

I had no one to pay for my college. I made it work. Loans, grants, scholarships, you name it, I had it.

The fact that ASS thinks he is owed it just blows my mind. The fact that he says he won't go to college because he doesn't think HE should be the one to have to go into debt for it? I have no words...

Fruit - you hit the nail

Fruit - you hit the nail right on the head. As I told Echo the other night on the phone, I am really angry that this brat thinks one penny of my money should go to him after the way he treats us. I was secretly happy to hear that ASS won't be going to college then, because I will be DAMNED if we go into debt for that fucker.

NO WAY!!

The nerve of this kid, I swear to Dog!!!

Oh yeah. NO doubt about it.

"you owe me a college

"you owe me a college education, and if you're not paying for it, I am certainly not going into debt for it."

Wow, the sense of entitlement is baffling. I would have responded, "then you are going to have a rough year after graduation. If you won't put yourself through college, I am not going to go into debt to support you."

If I had been in the car, I

If I had been in the car, I would have said something like, "oh, so YOU won't go into debt for YOUR future, but you expect ME to? I don't think so, ASS"

Sounds like he is not going

Sounds like he is not going to college.

I believe that if you can

I believe that if you can afford it, you pay for it, IF you want to.

Most people in this country can't afford to educate one kid, let alone 3.

I am all for kids having some responsibility for their own futures

Here's an idea, tell ASS to

Here's an idea, tell ASS to sue Medusa. How entitled this pick is.

Exactly! Why the Girhippo

Exactly! Why the Girhippo did the same thing--clean out all three college funds before the ink was dry on the divorce papers.

Sorry, Ass, but your mother cleaned out the college funds. You'll need to file suit against her pro se.

Yes - he does know this.

Yes - he does know this. During the pendency of the custody change, those accounts were brought up because DH wanted control over them since he was the custodial parent. Medusa had to admit on the stand that she had spent all the money "because of THAT deadbeat, who never paid child support."

Yeah - DH paid more than he was ordered to and was never late. Yet, she was going scream that even as she was losing custody of her kids.

I can't remember exactly when the skids found out about the fact that the money is gone, but I know that they know.

WOW shes sounds EXACTLY like

WOW shes sounds EXACTLY like the Girhippo! Stealing the college funds, collecting massive, on time CS then lying about it and saying she never got a penny.

It's in the handbook, thrice.

It's in the handbook, thrice. Chapter 12, page 195 }:)

Oh, I am QUITE SURE that ASS

Oh, I am QUITE SURE that ASS will say the same things about us - that we refused to pay for college, that we forced him out of the house, and blah blah blah blah.

These fucking kids really ARE unbelievable....

Oh - just remembered this

Oh - just remembered this from last night's session....

Therapist was talking to DH about ASS's sense of entitlement and his beliefs that he (ASS) should be treated like an adult. Therapist said it was probably time to start giving him what he wanted and start treating him like an adult.

Adults don't take things from other adults. Adults don't demand things from other adults.

When Therapist asked DH what he though ASS would say in response, DH told us about an email that ASS had sent him telling him that ASS didn't ask to be born, that DH created him and therefore owed him.

Uh, okay.

Oh, one more thing!! DH

Oh, one more thing!! DH said that ASS has told him that he just might "try to find Medusa" after he turns 18.

GREAT!!!!!! Nothing would make me happier }:) }:) }:)

Happy 18th Birthday

Happy 18th Birthday ASS,

Medusa
666 Imabitch Lane
Bitchville USA

Good Luck!

I will let you know as soon

I will let you know as soon as possible. Medusa has moved slightly farther south from where she used to be. I will send you a picture of ASS so you can stay out of the way

Funny - Therapist asked last night how DH thought she would react to that. He said he didn't have any idea because he hasn't had any contact with her in almost four years.

My guess? It would be all shmoopie-poopie for the first few weeks. Then even she would get sick of his entitled ASS!!

Yes - ASS says that since he

Yes - ASS says that since he didn't ask to be born, that the people who created him are responsible for giving him what he wants.

No, seriously. That's what he says - I have heard for my very own self!!

I live in a very wealthy town in one of the wealthiest counties in the country. Our high school student parking lot looks like a high end car dealership. Entitlement rules in this town for lots of kids. There are also lots of parents like me who hold their kids accountable. The kids in my town are very advantaged. ASS is the King of Entitlement. He makes some of the kids in this town look like absolute kittens.

It is truly amazing.

Ask him if any one of his

Ask him if any one of his school chums "asked to be born?"

Good. Tell him to ask HER

Good. Tell him to ask HER what happened to his money for college.

Right? ASS thinks like a

Right? ASS thinks like a child. Besides, he can always use the old "I didn't ask to be born, YOU created me" bullshit.

I would wholeheartedly

I would wholeheartedly encourage ASS to move in with Medusa

do it now before he turns 18 so that Medusa will think she can get CS from DH

Oh, you must have missed my

Oh, you must have missed my posts about ASS and his "property rights." Yeah, he thinks that as a minor in MY HOUSE that he has any kind of rights, let alone property rights.

When DH took ASS's phone and computer because of his behavior toward me, ASS demanded their return because they were HIS PROPERTY!!

Um, no, WE bought the computer and laptop and phone, asshole, so that makes them OURS!!!

Entitled kids make my blood boil!

Ask Mr. Ass when he has his

Ask Mr. Ass when he has his vasectomy scheduled because surely he doesn't want to bring anyone into the world. I doubt if he wants to be responsible for any little mini-asses.

Ill read comments in a min.

Ill read comments in a min. But my brain locked up at "u owe me".... WHAT THE FUCK???

OK gonna grab a beer and read other comments....

Ok. Wow. Read the other

Ok. Wow. Read the other comments, glad im not the only one stuck on that entitlement...

Well if he didnt aaaaasssskkkk to be born, maybe he should ask the stupid bitch who carried him, for her fucking contribution towards his entitlement.

Asshole.

If he wants to go to college

If he wants to go to college have him take out the loans and you co-sign. I was never in the position to save for college so I co-signed and I pay the interest on the loans. My daughter is now almost finished and has been on the Dean's list every semester. She also works part time during the school year on campus and works full time during breaks. She has made comments about how much it sucks that she has to pay for her own education but there was no other option if she wanted to go.
My cousin has a great saying that she uses on her kids when they complain...she tells them "It sucks being you"...I love it.
I just don't know why kids think that they are so entitled. I know my daughter is in school with kids whose parents are footing the bill. I tell her I am sorry but that was just never in the cards for her. She understands but it's hard and I am just praying that she lands an awesome job after graduation. The amount of debt scares me as it is more than our mortgage.
I would just let SS know that this is his life and his future so it is totally up to him what he wants to do and give him the options. Sometimes kids just stay stuff to test us. BM could be putting that in his head too. My ex said that kind of stuff to my daughter. I could hear her saying "Dad, I want to go to college" and him saying "Is your Mother paying for it".

WTF? NEVER co-sign a student

WTF? NEVER co-sign a student loan. That is probably the stupidest decision a parent can make - unless the parent is 100% committed to paying off the loan.

For OP to co-sign a loan for ASS would be the height of absurdity. Fortunately she has a brain and would never do that. Hopefully her DH will also use his brain and refuse to do so also.

My parents did not pay a dime for my education - they didn't have a spare dime period. But I graduated from two GREAT schools (ones that now charge $50k+ a year in tuition alone). Sure I had loans but I paid them off.

NO NO NO NO!! I would NEVER

NO NO NO NO!! I would NEVER co-sign for a loan for a kid going to college. My own kids have/had loans and I didn't co-sign for them.

My kids have federally funded loans - Perkins, subsidized and unsubsidized loans. They also work (or worked, in the case of DD24).

BM isn't putting anything in his head - she hasn't seen her kids in almost 4 years.