I am so sick of all of this crap. I mean I really am.

Yesterday I get a text from DH around 1 saying, "thanks for the mixer." My response was what mixer? The one sitting on the porch. I asked him how he knew what it was and he said that it wasn't in a shipping box it just came in the mixer box.

This p!ssed me off because that was DH's big gift. He loves cooking so I got him a kitchen aid mixer. Why would anybody ship anything around Christmas time not in a shipping box and why couldn't DH just pretend he didn't see it.

So I text DH and tell him not to open it and that he can't use it until Christmas. I also texted DH and told him to make the Christmas reservations so that we can go out to dinner, which he was supposed to do a while ago, because we don't have any of the kids for Christmas. He texts back a little bit latter and said that he made them for 6:30. I texted him back and asked him if they had anything earlier and he said that it was all they had.

A little back story is neccessary here. I gave up my Christmas with my BD this year so that we can get all of the kids on the same holiday schedule so that we can go and see HIS family on the holidays. That means that I miss Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years day with my BD. The whole freaking holiday season just for HIM and HIS family. I do get her Christmas morning and I thought I was going to get her a little hit on Christmas night but because he procrastinated on the only thing that he had to do for Christmas now I don't get her Christmas night because by the time we get done with dinner and pick her up it will be her bedtime. Why does it matter to him. He doesn't get his kids on Christmas night so why would it matter if I don't get to spend time with my BD on Christmas night. I told him to just freaking cancel it. I'll drop BD off at her grandparents house for dinner and then pick her up and we'll go see a movie together.

DH has been sick the last couple of days. He was really sick the day before yesterday but not so much yesterday seeing as how he consumed almost an entire BIG bottle of wine while I was at work. I walked in the door to find dog sh!t in the laundry room and in the entry way in the dinning room. Not just dog poop but liquid dog poop that has sat there so long it was dried to the floor which meant DH just walked by it all day long and didn't clean it up. Apparently in his drunken sicken haze he forgot to let the freaking dog out. I asked him where the mixer was and he told me he put it out in the garage. I told him that I was still planning on wrapping it and putting it under the tree and his response was, "why bother." WHY BOTHER!!!! WHY FREAKING BOTHER!!!! Because I put a lot of time and energy into finding that freaking gift for DH. He's hard to shop for because he has everything already and the two things he loves, football and fishing, I know nothing about and even if I went to Cabelas to buy him something they could sell me a 300 dollar piece of crap and I would never know.

So now I'm really p!issed as I'm standing in the kitchen when DH walks in with a blanket that the dog puked on because he fed her people food a couple of days ago when he knows it'll make her sick. Do you think he would maybe go put it in the washer and start the damn thing? Nope he wonders around like a lost freaking puppy until I tell him to just put it down and I'll do it. Does he put in the laundry room? Nope. He just drops it on the floor right in the entry way to the hall.

We ended up getting into it so he decided that he was going to go and pass out in his chair. So after I worked that day I spent the next three hours cleaning. As I'm cleaning I see my laptop. Now DH's laptop, that his brother gave him, was broken not all to long ago by SS. And by broken I mean the who back part of the thing is cracked. Why might you ask? Because DH always sets it on the floor on the side of his recliner where is gets walked on, ran on, and jumped on. I told DH that if he was going to use the laptop that I bought he is not to set it there. DH's response in the past has been, "it's not even what it's worth when you bought it anymore." So.....let me get this straight. You feel that you can put it where ever you want DH because it's not worth what I paid for it and if it gets broken it's okay because the expensive laptop is worth less now?!? Guess where I found my laptop? Sitting on the side of his chair on top of his broken laptop.

I was done at this point. I took my laptop, that I worked for and can't afford to replace, and hid it from him. If he can't follow a simple request then fine. He can't use it. I now understand why his kids don't listen to a freaking thing anybody says. DH can't do the same either.

We ended up getting into it again and I asked him why he couldn't put the freaking puked on blanket in the washer and get it started and he tells me not my dog. Really DH. Apparently you have forgotten that your freaking son almost killed everybody in the car last Monday with his freak out. You know. The day that I had to restrain YOUR child as I am driving 45 mph. Or how about the fact that I sat at home with him while you went back to work because SS wanted you to stay and we both agreed not to give him what he wanted. You can't even throw a freaking blanket into the washer for me. I called him out on that and he really didn't have much to say. I told him that I am not going to Washington next weekend to visit his parents because the roads are extremely bad at this time of year and I don't want to do the drive where he's constantly yelling at his kids, they won't listen, and he has to act like he's going to hit them just to get them to be good for all of five minutes. Doesn't sound like fun to me. And his mother doesn't care if we all die just as long as she can get her hands on SS and SD for a freaking day. I have to be stuck in a car with those two and a p!ssed off DH for 14 hours round trip so that they can hang out for one day because that's all they'll get.

Let's not forget that DH is on board with parenting his kids now. He's asked me to help him because he doesn't know how. So what does that mean? He won't make any efforts to change. I'll constantly be pointing sh!t out in front of the kids and they'll end up hating me. Essentially he wants me to do it all for him while he just coasts through raising his kids in this I don't know what I'm doing or how to do it haze.

Oh and as I was b!tching about the blanket being puked on I told him that we had a similar thing happen the last time he gave her fatty meat and he turns around and gives her a fatty piece of ham. His response, "if you knew what you were talking about you would know ham isn't fatty." I also got flipped off by him and he either told me to f^ck off or f^ck you at one point.

I am so over Christmas and DH at this point. I just want it to be over.