So...the whole time I have been on this site I have talked about my parents and how I always wanted to end up just like them...married happily for 30 years...still holding hands - no huge brawls - working together as a team (and they literally coached soccer teams getting #1 spots in the nation together) - they raised us well. They were always out together. People here worship my parents relationship. They are like peanut butter and jelly. or were...

My mom accepted a new job about 4 years ago about 45 minutes away. She gained new friends...all divorced married several times but living the life as wild single women who could do whatever they wanted whenever they pleased. They had no one to worry about kids all grown...We started to notice my mom doing weird things...no more home cooked meals for my dad when he came home for dinner on his shift break (law enforcement)...she stopped going out with him on weekends...moved into my room since I moved out...she claimed it was due to my dad's Severe Sleep Apnea (he sounds like a bear) - he even went so far as to have the nasty sleep apnea surgery...when his snoring subsided she still never moved back into their bedroom...when I'd come home - she'd sleep on the couch...tons of time on her cellphone (texting, emailing, etc.) And she seemed to have lost interest in all of us...even her own mom noticed something was really weird. When we'd ask what her plans were during the weekend - it's not uncommon for she, my dad, and brothers to all go out together - she would actually become very irritable and just snap- "I don't have to tell you - why are you asking? You don't all have to know what I'm doing" It got SO bad we couldn't even begin a conversation with, "Hey mum - are you busy?" We reworded our conversations as much as we could. She ended up having a hysterectomy (took two surgeries because she wasn't recovering well and ended up being allergic to the stiches it was a mess) When she healed she literally got up and walked out of our lives...This is the first time I've ever written, talked, or shared this with anyone. My dad was SO heartbroken he ended up in counseling, taking leaves from work...it was a total disaster...on top of dealing with my own "step" situation with the BM, FMIL, my friends all moving, I was now trying to keep my dad alive. He started drinking - she did not contact any of us. We had no idea of her where abouts. It was awful. One night my oldest brother invited her down so we could all have a sit down family meeting. My dad wrote her a letter and read it outloud in tears - and she very coldly said, I won't have this - you are all living in a fantasy. My older brother flipped and made it a point to tell her that for the first time in the 30 years of his existence our father opened up and cried in front of all of us telling her he doesn't need her - he wants her. And she left again - telling us her marriage was none of our business and it did not effect any of us. My little brother has not spoken to her for 2 years. I only talk to her maybe once every 3 months...which brings me back to something else - there was this puppy she used to "dogsit" on the weekends - for a friend of hers she worked with...this dog after months ended up being some guys dog..."a client of hers" we also found out she had been meeting him on Sundays for "business" - when my little brothers friend just so happened to have been working at the restaurant they were eating at...Needless to say - It MUST have been an affair she will never admit to. She literally walks in and out of his home as if she still lives there and never left. She only is seen on the weekends my niece and nephew are there - as she has not told them she is not living there. I have not told my "not so" steps who call her grandma because their lives have been screwed up enough. She even had the nerve to yell at my dad in front of all of us for being on the phone with a colleague for five minutes during my niece's bday party - my little bro who doesn't talk to her looked at her and said, "I believe your right to yell at my dad went right out the door with you when you left him." I don't know who she is. She has completely changed.

So...it's been two years. No divorce. Seperated. And my dad has finally snapped out of it. He asked all of us if we thought it was appropriate to start dating. He even asked her mother )as she lives next door. Of course we all agreed - SHE LEFT. He was really needing a female companion - he likes to travel, take motorcycle rides, and my mom was no longer around to do any of these things. Low and behold - there is a woman he worked with years ago - who tends bar (not her only job of course - she does work full-time somewhere else)- who was friends of my parents and she is wonderful. She has 3 children from her first marriage - who we all happen to be friends with! She is very active - supports her own household and they actually make a perfect pair. She flew down and met him at his guys trip at the beach. They go to picnics together. He's SO happy - and so are we! I never thought I'd be in this situation but we all love and respect her (we did even before this) and I think she's always had a crush on him! Although they have agreed not to get serious they are having a good time! And for the first time in a long time he is laughing and smiling all the time. So - my mother finds out about this last week (mind you they have only been seeing eachother for about 2 months) and has totally flipped her wig! She is calling this woman all kinds of names and is threatening to destroy my dad? She even went so far as to tell my dad that when she came back from her beach trip - she was considering to reconcile with him? It's like a jealous rage - if she can't have him - then no one can. We have all informed him that this situation is not fair to him and she cannot tell him what to do.

I am hoping he sticks with this woman actually...I never thought I'd be saying, "I don't want him to be with anyone but my mom.." But she has caused so much pain and hurt and disruption within our family. I am actually looking forward...I know it's quick - but for this woman to be with my dad and keep making him super happy- and she is all smiles when she is with him.