Does the clock move more quickly on Skid Fridays?
So, here I sit dreading 4:00 once again. It seems like time flies on skid Fridays...then slows down to a crawl once they get here.
I have to get rid of this feeling of dread. What are your tips? Do you feel dread before a skid weekend? How do you get rid of it?
I should mention, I have two good skids. The oldest, awful one quit coming over. And this weekend...both are working some and have some plans with friends. So they won't even be around much. I'm still dreading it and feeling sad and sick to my stomach. I should also mention that I'm childless and would very much like children of my own...so maybe that's the answer in and of itself. Maybe this dread is actually grief?
Whatever it is, I feel like there's something wrong with me. Having two good teens over for 2.5 days shouldn't cause me this much inner turmoil.
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DH mentioned the possibility
DH mentioned the possibility of SS 6 coming to visit and it sent me into a panic last night! He's PASd out, so it's not happening, but he just started therapy, so it's something that could happen sooner rather than later.
That's a long way of saying that I totally understand where you're coming from and sympathize. It sucks when you work all week and then have to feel yucky about your weekends because of kids that aren't yours.
I used to feel exactly the
I used to feel exactly the same way years ago , but my mindset completely changed 3 years back when i 100% disengaged.
Now, i feel like SKIDS weekends are my " free weekends " - DH runs them around from Friday evening to Sunday evening non -stop and they are not much at the house.
I garden, i go out, i exercise, i watch TV shows only I like, i see friends - when i book trips , i book them conveniently on weekends where skids are here.
The ONLY thing i do is to take SKIDS to school Monday mornings , just to make sure they are really gone LOL.
Change your mindset, do things for YOU these weekends !
Changes the energy is the
Changes the energy is the perfect way to describe how it was for the first four years...until OSD quit coming over a year and a half ago. It was like a little black rain cloud came into my home EOW and for ten days at Christmas, Spring Break, and in the summer
But these two are fine and charming...the dread has substantially lessened, but it hasn't gone away completely. My stomach is in knits right now bc it started snowing and I'm betting school will let out and they'll come over early. Also, Monday is a holiday so they'll leave late. I'm so tired of this. I feel like DH plans it on purpose so that he gets all holidays with skids...
I'm the opposite, I always
I'm the opposite, I always feel like Friday's creep along because it's the day BM picks up SS for the weekend. Then I feel like Saturday and Sunday zip by.
I can relate to the dread of
I can relate to the dread of weekends. I have 2 SD's EVERY weekend. The SD 14 is usually gone at a friends house, but SD 10 is ALWAYS around, and I mean right under foot. There's a laundry list of reasons I cannot stand her but I'll save that for now. My main concern is this, which it appears nobody has addressed, what if your DH makes you feel like an awful person for getting out and trying to do your own thing? Guilt trips you and sometimes even tries to stick you with the kids so he can go out for a night? How do you handle that when your DH/SO isn't supportive of your coping mechanism to escape and it further causes marital problems? Any advice?
Oh geez. If I had them EVERY
Oh geez. If I had them EVERY weekend I would insist on taking at least one weekend a month off. You deserve a break, too.
I have a friend with a garage apartment who has told me where the hide-a-key us and told me I can use it any time. Haven't taken her up on it...but knowing its there is helpful. Find somewhere to go!
I have a place to go, and I
I have a place to go, and I exercise that right usually once a month! His rebuttal is always " you don't see me leaving and spending the night other places as a married man". I stay the night in my hometown because I had to compromise and move an hour away (which was the half way point between the skids BM and my job, family, friends...life.) So since its an hour away I usually stay the night at my PARENTS house- which is hardly suspect or any reason to give me grief. He knew I was close with my family and that I would continue to make time to see them and my very best friend who also lives in my hometown. He does everything from say that he doesn't come first in my life ( well.. you're right, I DO) to accusing me of having an affair. He constantly is telling me that he and his kids need to come first in my life now and my family needs to take a backseat. I don't think this is entirely fair. It's not like i'm neglecting my marriage, it's more for self-preservation that I make a point to get away. Not only for my sanity but for the sake of my relationships with my parents, brother (nephews) , sister (niece and nephew), and best friend.
No...I'm with you, there.
No...I'm with you, there. I've posted before about how holidays always seem to skew toward his family because it's for the children!! Does that really mean we have to spend EVERY holiday with your family?
I'm very close to my family as well...and sometimes it's hard not to feel like I'm being assimilated rather than entering into an equal partnership. I think that's part of what life with skids does to you...how it messes with your brain. We're getting a lot better at compromising on things like holidays and kid weekends, though, so that's the good news