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Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Thu, 03/31/2016 - 8:21pm

Thers no question i love my dh with all my heart and soul. When i think about later years i cant picture anything but us on a porch-swing.

But its been 8 years so far. And not a g. d. thing has changed. I dont know if i can hold out another 6-8 years. I see us and our future, but in the interum??? Its just blurry...... *sobs*

Comments

FieryEscape's picture

Submitted by FieryEscape on Thu, 03/31/2016 - 8:38pm

Only you know what is best...but love isn't enough and the skid/bm drama doesn't disappear when they turn 18....

I loved my exDH too....was determined to stick it out ...but so glad I didn't. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. I can breath again now that I'm not caught up in his toxic nightmare of a life. I am happy again ...I look back and can now see how miserable I was.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Thu, 03/31/2016 - 8:39pm

Dh is not toxic. I just wonder why im even here. What role do i even have.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 03/31/2016 - 9:08pm

Oh, honey, only you can decide if it's worth it or not.

I have to admit, I couldn't have and wouldn't have put up with most of what you ladies on here do. I have been very lucky and I know it.

Many ((hugs))

Indigo's picture

Submitted by Indigo on Fri, 04/01/2016 - 12:49am

Wish I was sitting on the back deck with you tonight lifting a cold one or a glass of wine. We'd be sharing stories and telling tall tales. So, since I can't do that ... I'll send you a cyper {Hug}

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Fri, 04/01/2016 - 7:59am

The problems do not magically disappear when the skids turn 18!! Just go check the Adult Step forum.

The SKID BullShit is the rest of your life - can you see yourself happy with adult step kids who manipulate and treat you rudely?

Then their kids are dumped at your house because they expect you and DH to babysit whenever they feel like it? The step grand kids are another thorn to deal with. The skids think that heaven and earth revolve around them once they reproduce and give DH his precious grandkids. ugh. I am there now and wish to hell I ran away years ago. Noone warned me about the adult years and the grandkid issues!

It never ends.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Fri, 04/01/2016 - 8:33am

lol thnx sal. i'll be thrilled when he's launched upon HS graduation. i'll be tickled $#!tless when i dont have to hear this assinine BS all the time. putting a bit of physical distance between him and us would be a dream.

i think part of why it bothers me so much is cuz i just dont get a break from him. dumb@$$ has YET to excercise ANY visitation in two and a half years.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Fri, 04/01/2016 - 8:02am

it's just, idk... no, not pms'ing, and nothing big happened. something rather small and mundane, but SO EFFING typical of how every moment at home goes.

dh and i were out back, kaos comes out. dh tells him to go put some d@mn shoes on. they go back and forth, dh raises his voice, finally the kid puts shoes on and comes back out.

thirty minutes later, repeat word for word.

thirty minutes later, i'm out back alone, kaos comes out cuz he hears some big planes flying over the house. "kaos, shoes." "but i just wanted-" "Shoes." "i'm only just lookin'-" "Shoes." "well good lord i'm just-" "SHOES." "i just wanted to see the-" "i dont care about the freaking planes, put some d@amn shoes on like you've been told a hundred times." "well, MAYBE I DONT CARE about the SHOES."

i mean jesus h. christmas. we've been telling this kid (mostly dh has) for YEARS to wear shoes. how many more effing years of this crap??? i just cant see it.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Fri, 04/01/2016 - 8:12am

I'm just curious.. why does he have to wear shoes? I may be missing something like if he is developmentally disabled or something, but I probably wouldn't make that a battle for me to fight with an older/adult kid. If they wanted to come outside and freeze their feet off.. it's their business..lol. Their discomfort will lead them to do the rational thing.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 04/01/2016 - 8:16am

It doesn't even matter why they want him to wear shoes outside, he is a kid and needs to mind the adults of the house, instead of arguing with them.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Fri, 04/01/2016 - 8:29am

ESMOD- he's gotten plantars warts before that we've had to pay several hundred to remove. the virus penetrates the skin when you get poked by a rock or splinter or some such harmless but sharp object. i dont like throwing money out the window for his stubbornness. the kid has like 30 pairs of shoes, there's no logical reason he cant keep a d@mn pair of slides or slip-ons by the back door.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Fri, 04/01/2016 - 8:38am

Fair enough.. when it's affecting your wallet.. you have every right to intervene:)

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Fri, 04/01/2016 - 8:45am

d@mn straight! i'm very much disengaged from him UNLESS it affects me directly, our home, or our finances. otherwise idgaf.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Fri, 04/01/2016 - 8:37am

dh has knocked the $#!t out of him on numerous occassions. when he *does* do what dh tells him, it's usually only after dh has raised his voice loud enough while stepping towards him - kaos knows dh can and will pop him good, so the only times he listens is when he knows that arm-flying is imminent.

the kid also knows that i wont lay a finger on him.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Fri, 04/01/2016 - 8:49am

ikr!!!! u're preaching to the choir on that one. hubby however only wants that as a last resort. his kid, his perogative.

the constant tension and negative energy this kid creates is just sooooo exhausting.

JustAgirl42's picture

Submitted by JustAgirl42 on Fri, 04/01/2016 - 8:52am

I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you being that I feel the same way.

Same shit, different day.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Fri, 04/01/2016 - 9:13am

wow. i needed to hear that.

RAAWWWRRRRR!!! pass me that whiskey woman!