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Has anyone ever had to deal with this....needing some advise

tryingtomakeit's picture

Two days ago I rode with my husband to pick up his daughter...my sd, at the BM home. Usually, I do not ride with him, but we were running errands and tried to save time by doing this. I think this is time that they can talk about father daughter issues or anything they want to talk about so normally i do not go.

Well, we pull up to the bm house and both the sd and bm come out. My husband rolls down his window to see if the BM needs anything and the BM says that the sd wanted her to walk outside with her until she got in the car. I was thinking to myself..."Are you serious?"

My sd is 12 years old. This is not the first time this has happend. Another time I picked the sd up because something came up and her dad could not do it. The BM came to the door in nothing by a towel. She had no clue that I was the one picking the sd up. She made it a point to step in front of the door. It was drk outside and she could not tell that it was me in the car and not her ex...MY HUSBAND.

I am wondering if it the sd or the bm? Can the sd be that big of a baby that she can not walk to the car by herself. Or if the bm just wants to make her presence known.

What do ya'll think?

Comments

October8's picture

I think she definitely wants to make her presence know. Also, she thought you were your H when she came out wearing a towel. What is her motivation?

PrincessFiona's picture

We have similar things happen all the time !

And I think it is mostly BM, however Sd and BM are so blended into one mind that it's hard to separate what one thinks from the other. SD can't make a choice on her own, it's always in some way entwined with BM.

I just keep my mouth shut and hope it goes away. I'm not sure that's the right thing but...........

I might ask your DH to start calling ahead a few minutes before he arrives and asking SD to be ready and outside. Or we try to arrange that BM does the drop off and DH returns SD home. That avoids some of it.

PrincessFiona's picture

LOL, I love your posts ! I think I come here everyday to hear your snappy replys ! You are the best.

ScornedSM's picture

As they say...

" Birds of a feather shall flock together."

Ditto to the above: "Territorial Pissings" (Kurt Cobain)

herewegoagain's picture

She's making her presence known...used to happen to me too...it was hilarious to see the quick turnaround when she would realize I too was in the car...hehe

Pantera's picture

She wants her presence to be known. DH asked me to go to pick up/drop offs. Once she realized I would be in the car, her crap stopped. Maybe you should go more often.

Snowflake's picture

When BM found out I was preggos she had to wobble her big ass out to the car to strap youngerson into his carseat. That is when she proceeded to ask me if I was indeed pregnant. She looked PISSED!!!

I was like yes I am and just turned around. Like my pregnancy had some impact on her life! Nope... DH has moved on, he has left the building and now he is with me and we were having a baby! That had nothing to do with her.

I had to see her saggy ass one other time when she had to come over to check out where we lived. The next time she came to the door I just stayed in the house. She isn't my ex - so why do I have to start my day with a dose of bad attitude. And I really don't want my daughter around her. BM isn't anything to my daughter, and I don't want her even looking at my baby girl.

These BM's need to move on!!!