SD confirmed she's 6 weeks pregnant
She stayed with us Tues & Wed night - I catch her in stupid lies OR she says stupid things about what she's doing in regards to her future. Claims she has applied for jobs but never gets a call back. My question to her: do you go dressed like that? (Ripped jeans, sweatshirt hoodie, etc). She saw nothing wrong with it. She's a mess. SO told her last night that he loves her but will not help her make a mess of her life. He won't be giving her money, etc. We said a lot of things to her. Its going to be a continuing saga.
Here's the thing: The joy that SO and I have been experiencing these past few months while planning our wedding has greatly dimished. We got 2 RSVP's last night and could care less. Normally, we open them together and feel so happy. Right now - she has sucked all the joy out of me....and him.
I guess I don't really have a question. I just feel crappy. She won't be at our house tonight (yay) so maybe we can just get some of that happy feeling back. Toxic people can really drain you.
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DO Not
Get involved in this mess. Or Else you will be the only one doing anything. Do not let this kid into your home. Do not let it get to where you are taking care of SD and baby. And SD is going out at night. Staying away for days. And you are doing child care. DH is happy but he is not going to take care of anything. Hasn’t to this point and will not start now
I'm so, so sorry you're
I'm so, so sorry you're having to grapple with this during what should be such a happy time in your life.
Still, kudos to you and your SO for drawing a boundary and letting your SD know that you don't support her irresponsible behavior. Someone has to speak truth to the dingbat.
My DH's family is all about pretending everything is great, wonderful, yaay, good for you! You want to get married at 18? Yaaay, so happy for you! You don't plan to pursue an education or job skills, because you dont want to work and dont think you should have to? Swell! You're trying for a baby right away? Wonderful! Way to aim for mediocrity.
Why is she at your house? She
Why is she at your house? She should be with whoever did the deed with her.
Send her on her way. She's obviously old enough to procreate. Will you be housing her when she reproduces? How will you like having her AND her kid there???
Get her out now or you'll be stuck with two of 'em.
Excellent point. Shouldn't
Excellent point. Shouldn't your SD be with her mother, being pampered and bonding over the blessed event/death knell for her future?
Her mother won't take her
Her mother won't take her back in either
^^Yes, yes, yes!
^^Yes, yes, yes!
We let her stay a couple of
We let her stay a couple of nights so we could talk with her. She is not staying with us from here out. No room for her and I made it clear to SO that I want nothing to do with raising or helping to raise someone else's baby.
And I'll add this: if she got
And I'll add this: if she got pregnant once and no one flipped out, she'll be pregnant all the time and then your house will be FILLED with all that joy!!!!!!!
Get her out now!!!!!!!!!
Funny - that's what I said to
Funny - that's what I said to her. After baby #1, will come #2 and then #3.
She wants to have the baby, I
She wants to have the baby, I take it? And keep it?
Toxic people ARE exhausting and with it being his kid, even if he doesn't help her out financially or let her move in, or whatever, he will worry about her.
I tell my DH that I know he worries about his daughter but she chose the life that she has and she continues to make stupid decisions. No amount of worrying is going to change that.
I hope you and your SO can get your happy back!
Thanks
Yep. she wants to keep the baby. She's living in a fairytale made up in her head. She thinks the baby's dad and her and baby will be one happy family. You can't tell her anything
That's what my SD thought,
That's what my SD thought, until her husband stopped coming home. Then she found out, from her FIL, that the husband had filed for divorce (2 months prior).
Now, she is re-living the fantasy with her current loser BF and is pregnant with his child. She is determined to get it right with one loser or another!
Can't tell my SD anything, either. DH keeps trying but it's like banging your head against a brick wall that is encased in steel. I mean, what does he know?