Update
So after seeing SILs post on FB I started to feel bad for Dh. She is the last of his family in the area talking to us and its obvious she's crazy.
He didn't show up with flowers but I think what he did was even sneakier. He showed up with a movie that I have been wanting to see. And well there is no TV in the basement yet, so I watched it with him. I sat on one end of the couch and he sat on the other. We chatted about the movie but he said he was still upset and didn't want to talk about all the other stuff. So when bed time came I went to go downstairs again. I asked him if he is going to just let me go. He said he didn't want me to be "stuck" with him. (Throwing my words at me) So I told him that I didn't mean it the way he has taken it, and I know it was a mean thing to say. I told him honestly with everything we have been through we should be able to get through this stuff no problem. I went out for a smoke, and when I came back in he asked me to stay with him and promised we'd talk about everything today. He said he was sorry for making the decision about sunday without me.
I slept in my own bed last night.
I hope this conversation goes well today or I'm going to feel dumb again.
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Comments
Hold up a sec. I know this
Hold up a sec. I know this is totally off topic and I don't want to attack you here but, aren't you pregnant? You're not really smoking are you? Sweetie, sweetie. You were worried yesterday about the neural damage you could be causing the baby because he/she is gestating is such a stressful environment but you're not worried about smoking while pregnant. I think that's far more harmful than fighting with your DH.
I Tried to quit smoking and
I Tried to quit smoking and it lead to really bad anxiety attacks. I have cut down quite a bit and once I get a handle on all this I intend to quit. However if I am having anxiety attacks now and quiting smoking increases the amount of anxiety my doctor thinks it would be best for the baby if I cut down and quit when I can.
I know I'm terrible. I always frowned at those women smoking with big bellies. I could never understand how they could do that to their children. But then it was me. I talked to my doctor, the local health nurse and my councillor about it. And they all suggest I get a handle on my anxiety issues first. I hate myself for not being stronger, but I will get there.
whoa, you "went out for a
whoa, you "went out for a smoke" ???
1.you are putting your baby through the stress of fighting about things that are completely out of your control
2.you are poisoning your baby voluntarily by smoking
I hate to sound preachy and mothering here but damnit Thetis where is your head right now honey??? You have got to stop this destructive pattern. Stop trying to control things that are beyond controllable. Stop hurting your baby honey.
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"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut
Thats what I'm working on.
Thats what I'm working on. I'm down to four a day, as opposed to 20. But I break them up. So I have 4 smokes a day but go for a smoke like 12 times. It has helped alot.
It kinda makes things harder when my doctor and everyone is telling me Nicorette and Nicoderm ect are worse for the baby. So it has to be the cold turkey way.
I really am trying though girls.
I'm glad you're making
I'm glad you're making progress honey. I know it's hard...I just see so must potential in you and it's frustrating to watch you let everyone do these things to you and get you so worked up.
I know you're stronger than this and I know you can be your own center of calm while you get through this stuff. Don't let them drive you to aggravation and smoking...you are so much better than that.
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"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut
Ha... these girls gave you
Ha... these girls gave you the lecture I was gonna give you... so I shall refrain
but it WAS my first thought when I read this blog.
On topic though... I am glad you slept in your own bed. And SEEEEEE he does love you, he brought you a movie he knew you wanted to see. Chin up kid... you are gonna be ALRIGHT. NOW QUIT SMOKING.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
I have to say my mind cut
I have to say my mind cut off completely when I saw you went out for a smoke. I guess I will just ditto everything BBB said.
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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.
lol Should I have made two
lol Should I have made two blogs? One about smoking and trying to quit, and one about what I was trying to say?
I know I sound like a bunch of excuses on the smoking thing, I didn't believe it either when people told me their doctor told them to cut down not quit. But I had a couple really bad episodes where I almost fainted/passed out due to anxiety when I was quitting. The dotor said that can be way worse on the baby.
Thetis, maybe you need to
Thetis, maybe you need to remove yourself from the anxiety and the drama until after the baby is born? Maybe it's time to go stay with your parents that way you're not involved in the issues with SD and you and your DH don't have a chance to fight? The issues you and DH seem to have go far deeper than a quick fix. If you are telling yourself, "I'm quitting once I get through this issue." There will ALWAYS be another issue waiting around the corner. It's like the drinker who says, once I get through this problem with my bitchy boss, I'll stop drinking and then once my kids, aren't fighting so much, I'll stop drinking. There's always going to be something else. So maybe for the sake of the baby, you get away from the anxiety, which will assist you in trying to quit.