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OT- MIL hitting on me?

TheEvilStepmomStrikesBack's picture

Submitted by TheEvilStepmomS... on Fri, 04/12/2019 - 12:17pm

So lately I’ve been taking SS to see his grandma. DH doesn’t really have time to, so I do. She keeps making these comments like “oh wow, the lord has really blessed you”, “man you’re build like a woman should be”, or tells me how pretty my skin is (one time even went at far to rub on my arm, I put a stop to that quick. I don’t like to be touched by ANYBODY EXcept my husband and child of course). I little birdie told me shortly after DH and I got married that MIL is lesbian, or at the very least bi-sexual but I didn’t think too much into it.  It makes me really uncomfortable when she says things like that and I never know what to say back besides thanks. I don’t want to be mean to cause any strife but I’m not sure telling DH is the best course of action. I think he would have issues with what I’m saying or he wouldn’t believe it and possibly take that frustration out on me (in a non-physical manner of course). Any ideas or thoughts on the manner

Comments

TheEvilStepmomStrikesBack's picture

Submitted by TheEvilStepmomS... on Fri, 04/12/2019 - 12:25pm

I should also mention she never says these types of things when my husband/ her son is around 

Letti.R's picture

Submitted by Letti.R on Fri, 04/12/2019 - 1:24pm

She makes you uncomfortable, so tell her straight out that you do not appreciate her comments and would like her to refrain from making them.

Women, too often, are polite for fear of offending the offender.
Total BS.

Don't beat about the bush and tell your DH.
If this were anyone else you would do so, your MIL does not get a pass because she is related to you.
Your radar is going off for a reason: believe it.

TheEvilStepmomStrikesBack's picture

Submitted by TheEvilStepmomS... on Fri, 04/12/2019 - 10:29pm

That’s definitely me. I’m the type not to say anything unless it comes to my child, then I’m bat crap crazy. 

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Submitted by SonOfABrisketMaker on Fri, 04/12/2019 - 1:33pm

I definitely have a different “tone” in mixed company as opposed to just girls. Your MIL might be super awkward and doesn’t know how to return the good feelings of your personal favor to her without being odd. Can you maybe just be the taxi and drop SS off then pick him up later? If the visit is for SS to have grandma time, no point in you hanging out.

 

I agree with the above commenter that you should trust your gut instinct. Does your DH know about his mother’s sexual preferences or would he believe she’s straight and you’re making things up? If she is hitting on you, he needs to know about her lack of loyalty to his marriage. If this were a FIL hitting on his son’s wife, it would be a serious breach of trust and social ethics. Same goes for a woman.

TheEvilStepmomStrikesBack's picture

Submitted by TheEvilStepmomS... on Fri, 04/12/2019 - 10:32pm

That may be true. But it’s the way she says it and the way she looks when she says that stuff. Not sure I can explain it right. 

 

No DH doesn’t know (unless he’s just never mentioned it). His parents are actually still married. I don’t think he would believe it anyway. He’s more of a head in the sand type person until he has to face an issue 

TheEvilStepmomStrikesBack's picture

Submitted by TheEvilStepmomS... on Fri, 04/12/2019 - 10:36pm

Thank you all for your input. I’ve definitely got some things to thing about and possibly discusss with DH. Y’all are awesome! 

elkclan's picture

Submitted by elkclan on Sat, 04/13/2019 - 6:21am

Serious, serious boundary issues. My mom isn't bisexual (so far as I know) but she was hitting on my partner - in front of me. You need to tell your DH. It's really, really uncool. 

In the end neither of us confronted her behaviour... so I get how hard this is. But you should be able to get support from your partner on this one.