ExH issues-venting
So yet another reason why one should never ever ever do anything but what the decree says.
My ex is a master manipulator. He has hounded me for one night to see BS during the week since the ink was dry on the decree. Lately he has been threatening mediation or getting a new attorney. The decree is 1 year old now.
See he isn't as destitute as he has gotten a new job that pays about 10K more a year and has a GF that buys him things and takes him away on romantic weekends. I am pretty sure he has filled her head with poisen against me telling her how I had him thrown in jail while he was recovering from back surgery and tried to kill him after he swatted my hand away. No mention of the months of mental/verbal abuse or that he was abusing his pain meds while recovering or how the incidents were escalating and including the kids.
My lawyer has told me that if we went back to court that they would give him a night to see BS during the week because no one else will testify to his crazy behavior it is me against him. So I allowed him to bully me into allowing him to come get BSalmost 8 for 2 hours on every other thursday. He is relentless about it being every week one Monday one Thursday, but I WILL NOT do that and managed to put it off a bit. I figure he will fuck up or get tired of this because he also moved 30 miles from us works till 5pm and there is road construction every where and BS goes to bed at 8pm.
Yesterday I had to email him that because BS has swim lessons on Tuesday his phone call would be an hour late did he still want to do it or switch to today. He wanted it last night, said he would be home. During this time I learned from BM1 that he wanted my teen step kids to come over Thursday night next week for their 4th of July holiday to start. I asked him at that time if he had the FRiday off because our decree says to have the child for a holiday you have to not be working ( smart move on my part 
He replies back yet and tells me he will pick up BS thursday night. IThe man has never read our fucking decree he doesn't get him till 9am on Friday, so asshat you need to ask not tell me. I send a snip of it so he knows the rules, but said that I would be willing to let him BUT I will be at his place on Sunday at 6pm to get BS period. Odd thing is I never heard back from him.
So back to the phone call, BS called him twice, left messages...nothing no answer, no call back no emails to me about it, so as far as I am concerned we did our part and I will not interupt my evening with a call to him. BM1 emailed him today about something and nothing either.
Oh and here is my favorite part, so apparently he had told SS15 that he was thinking of coming to his game tomorrow night with BS7. He has him from 6 to 8. Asked me to feed him dinner because traffic will be bad and it is at least 1/2 each way to where SS is playing. I can't see this ending well and if he is late I am never doing it again. It will be a huge argument and he will be furious. He doesn't thing decrees or times apply to him.
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Comments
Let him take you to
Let him take you to mediation... get it in the order, most standard orders allow the ncp get the child one day during the week every week.
If he spa getting him once a week dieting the week because of convenience, that's on him.
Me too. It sucks because he
Me too. It sucks because he always gets away with stuff because everyone is afraid of him. I am the only one who has held him accountable and stood up to him and look at what he puts me through. If you could kill someone by looking at them I would be dead.
The decree says I pick up BS
The decree says I pick up BS because asshat is never on time. It sucks having to drive the distance. Everytime he tells me he will bring him home at the last minute it turns into his threatening me or trying to get something from me or just refusing to do it.
He doesn't have the one day because he is unreliable and moved across the metro so it isn't really condusive to a kid who goes to bed at 7:30 during the school year. ( Now 8pm as he is getting older)
Thing is he agreed to this but thought he could just do whatever he wanted after the decree was signed.
He is late to everything and I am amazed he never has been fired yet over it. He has no respect for rules or women.
Trust ne though his new GF I am sure thinks he is a saint who has been done wrong by his evil exes... that is why I am always preaching just because he tells you so doesn't mean that BM is as bad as he paints her... she might be or he might be a master manipulator.
Thanks I will do that next
Thanks I will do that next time he threatens. I do everything in text and email. He did ask BM 1 & I in an email if we would promise not to go after him for more CS if he got a better job and at the time we both said yes. Then he gloated how he got it in writing. Next time I will throw up that the decree is a whole lot more binding than an email. Next year SS17 graduates so I will be asking for a review as it will be 2 years. My health care costs went up dramatically and I am thinking BS might be able to get off the bus verses after school care so before anything changes I want it reviewed. He will HATE that. Again I would never take another penny or ask for an increase if he would just follow the fing decree and leave me alone.
I don't care about GF's
I don't care about GF's money, he will drain her dry like he did me and BM1. I don't even care that he has more money exctept that I fear it will make him more litigious. Especially if he has some brain washed childless woman telling him what a good dad he is.
I have my own money and can support myself and BS with our without child support. I am just tired of wasting money fighting him because he wants more time and then spends it sleeping when my child is at his place.
It cost me 11K to divorce himand he probably cost me 100K over the last 10 years.
Let him drain another woman as long as it isn't me and my son is safe.
I don't want to criticize but
I don't want to criticize but I don't think you are being tough enough.
If he threatened me, I would call his bluff with what HRNYC said and go after more support.
You want to take me to mediation, fine. Let's re-evaluate your income.
You want extra time that's not in the parenting plan, fuck off. You get nothing. Take me to court and get it modified.
I think your ex is spinning his wheels because he can. He's suddenly "empowered" because he has another "victim" on the hook (new GF). But there is no way on God's green Earth I would ever allow that man (and I use that term loosely) an inch, because he will try to take a mile.
Listen, Sweet T you have proved yourself to be so strong in overcoming all of the horrible abuse he has doled out to you. Do not give in now. Stand your ground.
*And on a side note I have a lot of pent-up aggression (like years of unresolved trauma from mental and physical abuse at the hands of my ex) and if I knew where your exH was I would happily go "medieval" on his pathetic ass for you just for shits and giggles. It would be therapeutic.*
You are correct, he never
You are correct, he never lets up and I should be tougher and I try to be.When it is the worst is when he has BS and he starts, I am stronger when I have BS safe with me.
This is kind of funny ands appropriate. I take my BS to therapy and we went yesterday, therapist was talking about how he needed to not be a marshmellow and let peoples actions squish him that he had to be tough like something else. We were talking about how hard that is and I understand because I am sensative too. He brought up how his dad hurts me because I am sensative. He says well mom you need to be tough like "Steve" my boyfriend. You need to just pretend to be him when you deal with dad. OMFG! I about died because BF tells me this all the time, and that man is tougher than nails when someone is screwing with him. My almost 8 year old son sees it ( and BF is nothing but sensative and kind with us both because he knows we are marshmellos.