The Honeymoon is over :(
We are married and back from holidays...back to work and everything aaugh! Oh well the real world was waiting for us...
I noticed that I let the situation with SD slip because we were happy and wanted it to be about us for awhile....well thats over. She is back to her snotty, disrespectful self and I told my DH that its over. I cracked on her and him and told them I was so sick of it. I don't allow my children to act like that and she isn't going to either.
He doesn't seem to be agreeing with me...I told him "same rules" or we would have to make other arrangements.
Am I being wrong in this? Do you think she should have some special treatment because she is part time?
The weekend that I stepped up and started the new me, not getting walked on made me feel GREAT! She was put out and so was BM but I don't care...I can't live under the rule of the 12 year old its insane!!!
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Comments
I agree, same rules for all
I agree, same rules for all the children in the house. No special treatment. Why does your husband disagree, did he have a reason?
-happy mom
Special treatment
Absolutley...Your 150% correct in this matter. Any time a child recieves "special treatment" adults are creating a monster...No one is going to give her "special treatment" when she is an adult..so it does no favors for her to be under the impression that she is entitled to "special treatment" as a child..Just turns children, especially girls, into unbareable little snots..Trust me..I live with one full time...
I agree too, BUT
why did you wait until AFTER you were married to lay down the law? You may be accused of pulling the old bait and switch by DH which could cause problems....
i didn't
Basically, I was led to believe that I couldn't dicipline his daughter because of her age and I wanted us to be a family, I didn't want her to hate me. I left it to my DH. I started stepping up before we got married because he is just not capable of making her do anything and it was effecting my life and my kids.
She is extremely spoiled and he has a hard time changing the way she has been treated for 12 years. Her Mother has let her "raise" herself in my opinion. She doesn't pay attention to what she is doing, for example she is allowed to stay up until she wants to go to bed but expects everyone to let her sleep until the afternoon...I have 8 and 10 year olds, they get up every morning at 6am because I have to go to work so when SD is in the house are they going to change? My DH is just trying to keep everyone happy....Everyone made changes when we moved in together, they moved in with us and we changed everything to make her feel welcome, the boys gave up a lot of their space and shared everything without a complaint...I feel like we tried to make as little change in her life as possible...she just expected it and still does. Everything has to revolve around her or she gets snotty. Yes, it is her parents fault. I've been through she just needs guidance, she needs attention, she needs love, well I gave her everything to try and now I think I made a huge mistake...she has NO RESPECT for me, my kids or even her own parents. It is hard work to be a parent and my DH would rather give her what she wants to keep her from throwing a temper tantrum. I am quite willing to let her flop around like a 2 year old until she stops acting like that in our home....in her mothers well I guess that is going to be her mother's problem I can't control that situation and fact is because of the time she is there....she will never change but at least i won't have to witness it.
I delayed the marriage trying to make the "perfect" family before we got married but came to the conclusion that this child will never be happy so I am going to be...I love her father, she is part of him, but I don't like her. If I met her somewhere, I would never have her in my house but she is his daughter so I have to....