...but hers got me to thinking. I was raised in a large very close-knit family. DH's family is also very close, though he only has one sister. I am truly blessed with in-laws I love dearly...all of them. My SIL is like a sister to me. My MIL...I couldn't have hoped for better. We are all very close.

My DH's dad passed away when SS was getting ready to turn 1. He passed before SD was born. He passed about 6 years before I met DH. DH's mom has remarried, but still as the family gathers for birthdays, holidays, dinners, etc, there are always stories told. Often times, the same ones, but to hear DH, MIL, & SIL all laugh together in his memory is always so touching. With the difficult things we deal with from day-to-day, the stress just gets carried away...even for me, when the memories of this man I never knew are shared.

DH's dad was an alchoholic & he was quick to anger. He was a golden-glove boxer & broke DH's tooth when he was 6 years old. He always provided for the family, but spent his time out drinking with his friends. He was strict to the point he left no room for error when it came to DH. DH grew up with a lot of resentment toward his dad. They didn't have a good relationship through most of DH's life, but were able to make peace & eventually grew to be truly best friends for about the last 3 years of his life.

Like I said, I never had the opportunity to meet him. Being able to share these times with DH's family, however, has helped me feel like I know who he was. Through the most trying times between DH & I, I have been able to find peace in going to visit his dad's grave. I feel I know him well enough.

In considering the damage that's been done in the relationships between DH & his kids over the past few years, I find that I reflect on these memories shared of DH's father. With all of those years full of anger between DH & him, it gives me hope that DH's kids will find their way back & be able to mend their relationships with him. DH isn't an alcoholic. He isn't abusive. He has never chosen to be absent from them in their lives. If DH's dad was all of these things & yet is still able to keep a family bonded the way he has DH's...I guess it just makes me wonder how DH's kids will remember him.

Happy, thank you for sharing your memories of your dad.