How would you handle this?
So, we are already dealing with issues regarding DH's kids not being in school. DH has filed for a court date to terminate CS payments on SS & I put the CS in the mail this morning paying only 1/2 of the original agreed-upon amount. DH's lawyer advised that with SS being 18 & not enrolled in school 1 1/2 months into the current school year, he begin paying only 1/2 the amount agreed on in the original order.
I made a report to CPS a couple of weeks ago & haven't heard anything as far as them making any contact with BM yet. My report was anonymous, so they won't be contacting me to update, but I'm certain we'll hear something from BM when it happens.
The school district has filed a report with the truancy department, as neither the homeschooling or public school records show either of the kids attending at all through the last school year or being enrolled in school for this year.
With all of that, SD has a link on her FB to a page advertising a public event for a "House Party". The profile pic is marijuana leaf with "Party Time" posted below it. It lists BM's address as the place to be, & the info says:
"October 22nd, Me, (friend) and (SD) are gunna have a house party. Bring whatever the fuck you want *cough* *cough* and whoever the fuck you want as long as they won't kill it. From 7:30 till whenever everybody leaves or drops . It's going to be THE shit. Not "A" shit, not "some" shits, THE shit. There's gunna be everything."
The page was not created by SD, but by one of her friends.
I told DH about it & we are trying to decide how to handle it. I could call CPS & maybe add it to my report (I don't know if they add it on or if I'd have to make another separate report). I considered mailing a copy of the advertisement to the police department there & giving them a heads-up (removing my personal information, of course), or we could wait until that evening & call the police to go check on the situation.
The only way BM will get in trouble for it is if she gets caught in the act. However, with SS being 18 now, if he gets caught in it it'll make a permanent record for him. On the one hand, we feel it's better he get caught & learn the lesson now than in a few years when he's got kids he's trying to pay CS on, but on the other hand he already has strikes against him as far as making a life for himself. HS dropout with no work experience & no driver's license. He's already being set up to fail. I hate the idea of adding a permanent criminal record to the list of strikes against him.
Any other options you could suggest? What would you do?
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paying only 1/2 of the
paying only 1/2 of the original agreed-upon amount. DH's lawyer advised that with SS being 18 & not enrolled in school 1 1/2 months into the current school year, he begin paying only 1/2 the amount agreed on in the original order.
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Not sure where you are at...but...in Texas, the NCP pays 20% for the fist kid. If there are 2 then it is 25%. So, I am not sure that it is legal that you just cut it in half. It should be, but don't know if it is.
And...I would FOR SURE...wait and call the night of the party. Give it a few hours to really get going and then let the cops take care of the rest.
Also by Texas statutes, if
Also by Texas statutes, if the 18 year old is not enrolled fulltime by the Texas Attendance Standards, child support can be stopped. That means that if the child skips more than is in school, child support is then not required any longer.
I suggested DH try to arrange
I suggested DH try to arrange something with SS for that weekend, but chances are if something is happening at BM's house, that's where he'll opt to be. He won't say why. He'll just decline.
Doing nothing won't be an option. If SS gets caught up in it, he does. We both feel it would be negligent to do nothing knowing that things are going on there.
BM has posted an album on her FB titled "SS's eighteenth birthday" loaded with pics of SS with his bottle of Grey Goose. Some of the pics are him with the bottle, & some are him & BM with the bottle. In an album of 45 pics, everyone's eyes are half-closed & red.
All of the kids marked as "attending" this party coming up are minors, but some drive. I'd hate to think they'd all end up leaving the party driving under the influence or riding with someone who is knowing we did nothing.
All of the kids marked as
All of the kids marked as "attending" this party coming up are minors, but some drive. I'd hate to think they'd all end up leaving the party driving under the influence or riding with someone who is knowing we did nothing.
This would be the big thing for me, other than the obvious minors, drugs and drinking. What if they go and kill themselves, or worse, somebody else driving under the influence.
We are in VA. DH called &
We are in VA. DH called & talked to his lawyer about it. His lawyer read through the paperwork, & this is what he advised. The original order was agreed on outside of court & was actually more than what would've been ordered had it gone before the judge. His lawyer said that with that being the case in addition to the fact that he's paid in full for 2 1/2 months beyond SS's 18th birthday & 1 1/2 into the current school year that SS is not enrolled in going in his favor, it should be safe to simply cut it in half.
If it ends up being something different, it'll come up in court & he'll pay the arrears, but if he continues paying in full until court comes around the judge won't make BM pay any of the extra back.
I hadn't considered it being
I hadn't considered it being a misdeameanor. With no prior trouble, it probably would be, we do feel very strongly (having seen DH's nephew be bailed out of EVERY bit of trouble he's been in) that to just let this go would lead him to believe he is bigger than the law. That mindset only leads to more trouble. Maybe letting him get caught now will diffuse what could become a much bigger issue in the future.
I would call the police that
I would call the police that night...Let them handle it. Offer to send them the link to the posting. That way they will search for drugs and not just break up the party. These kids need to get caught. Trust me if this were my BM and SD, I would be telling everyone I could. I would also be calling their friends parents so that they know. But, then according to BM I am a bitch...so I might as well act like it.
I agree. I really feel it's
I agree. I really feel it's best they get caught now & hopefully learn a life-lesson that may help them avoid making this a way of life. It's better they learn it now (most of them are minors so they won't have permanent records yet) than several years down the road when they have children depending on them & something like this ruins their ability to provide for their families.
Have you considered this
Have you considered this could be bait for the CPS call? CPS visits rather quickly from my experience. Like the next day or so.
The CPS site states that it
The CPS site states that it takes 45-60 days to complete an investigation. I just called a couple of weeks ago.
Even if she's baiting, BM has pics posted of underage drinking, & she's posted pics of herself being involved in all of it. It isn't going to hurt DH or I to make a call to the police. If she's simply baiting the police will go check on it & nothing will be found. If they're really just ignorant enough to be posting incriminating party advertisements online, they'll get caught.
I'd rather make the call & have them find nothing than not make the call & have kids getting killed trying to drive home under the influence, or have them out on the roads killing other drivers.
I feel confident that if CPS had contacted them DH would've been the first one to hear about it. She'll call assuming he was the one who'd made the call & give him hell.