I called into work yesterday & spent the day running errands with DH. We hit the unemployment office first thing & got his paperwork filled out. We did a couple of things at the bank, & then went to the Social Security Admin to request copies of the kids SS cards. F.A.I.L.

DH had his DL, SS card, & birth certificate. We had court papers to prove the kids were his. They wouldn't accept the court papers as proof. I said, "We just sent off for their birth certificates. I guess we'll be back when they come". They don't accept those either. WTF???

She said we have to have their school ID, a current report card, or a current medical record. DH explained that the kids live with their mother & are homeschooled. He has to call the school district today & find out if they're homeschooled through the district (which is what BM's mother told us happened) maybe they have something we can use.

I know SS's dentist (she still takes him to a pediatric dentist *puke*) is over here near my job. I have to call SS Admin to see if we can use something from them. I have a friend who does Medicaid billing & has tipped me off to a few notes in their charts. I'm not sure how recently SD has seen the doctor about the lesions on her brain. I know that it came about a couple of years ago & she's supposedly going to UVA every 6 months to keep an eye on it, but my friend doesn't bill for UVA. I'm hoping she can lead me to someone who has seen her recently. DH has asked for their doctors names a number of times so he can keep up with what's really happening, but BM "can't remember" the doctors names & can never seem to find the time to get it for him.

SS called DH Monday evening upset because apparently while he was gone, one of his friends spent the night at BM's house. He said there are "chew marks" on his door frame next to the lock indicating that someone (likely this friend or BM's brother who lives there) tried to break into his room while he was with us. BM's brother has stolen from him in the past, which is why he has to keep a lock on his door to begin with. He was pissed about his friend spending the night when he wasn't there. He's talking to DH about just moving in with us & going to school in our district. He hasn't talked to BM about that yet, though.

DH called to talk to SS when we stopped to eat yesterday. BM answered the phone & told DH SS was in the shower. DH asked her about SS's friend spending the night without SS being there & she said he didn’t have enough gas to get home & his mom brought him some the next morning. DH said, so why wouldn’t his mom just bring it to him that evening some time or you drop him off at home on your way back from dropping SS off with me? (He rode with BM & to bring SS to drop-off). Don’t you go right past his house? She said she didn’t think about that. DH mentioned that SS was upset about having to lock all his stuff up any time he leaves the house because people keep stealing from him. She swears it isn’t her brother taking things. Her reply was, “How do think I feel, DH? I have to lock my stuff up too.” He said, “From SS???” She said, “No, I have to keep my Xanax pills locked up to keep people from stealing them.” (Note her failure to acknowledge anything about SS’s concerns, but rather seeks out sympathy because SHE has to hide her pills.) He said, “It’s your house & I’m not trying to tell you how to do things in your house, but if you feel like you have to lock your own things up in your home, maybe it’d be a good idea to limit the number of people coming & going from your house. “

That’s all that was said about it. They talked about SS going to the dentist. DH asked about his insurance coverage…whether they’ll pay for his braces after he turns 18. He asked her just to have SS call when he got out of the shower & she said she would.

SS called about 10 minutes upset because BM came into his room crying & woke him up to tell him that DH “pretty much cussed her out”. DH told him he didn’t know what she was talking about. He went through the conversation with SS. He explained that neither of them once raised their voice. They didn’t argue at all. There were no cuss words exchanged.

At this point, nothing with her should surprise me, but I was FLOORED. SS keeps telling DH he wants him & BM to be able to communicate & get along. DH keeps explaining that SS needs to not focus on what goes on between him & BM, but concentrate on his education, a job, where he’s looking to take his life.

When they got off the phone, DH just rolled his eyes & took a deep breath. I was PISSED. I don’t know how he’s able to keep himself together. He said it’s because he’s learned to expect nothing but drama. He was the one who pointed out that the first thing out of BM’s mouth when DH called to start was that SS was in the shower. Then SS says she came in his room crying & woke him up. So, she lied right from the start about something that doesn’t even matter. What reason would she have to lie to DH about whether SS was in the bed or in the shower??? How do you communicate with someone who does that?

Even if DH had cussed her out, what makes her feel it’s appropriate for her to burst into her son’s bedroom in tears & wake him up to tell on his dad??? It’s no wonder the kid can’t concentrate on his own life & future. She’s putting the responsibility of being a mediator between his parents on him!

So, as it stands, once again SS is struggling to sort this out & find the truth…a truth that there is no proof for, so he’ll never be able to find an answer.

BM won’t give SS the title to the car she “gave” him 2 years ago (that’s still titled to the guy they got it from) to put it in his name. I’m convinced she won’t let him have it as long as DH is in his life.

I told DH we might as well just write that one off. She’s probably keeping it so she can “give” it to SD for her 16th birthday too. You know, so she can be the mother who gave both of her children a car for their 16th birthday. Never mind that she’ll never really allow it to be theirs. We’ll just keep watching for something we can pay $500 or $600 for, DH can fix it for him & it will be his. BM can keep her POS that no one will fix. It can sit in her mother’s yard for them to look at forever. SD can go visit it & sit in it whenever she wants to after BM “gives” it to her.

Things were so much better when BM & DH weren’t speaking. SS can communicate with his mom & he can communicate with his dad. I can understand him wanting his parents to be able to get along, but HE needs to come to grips with the fact that it isn't possible to effectively communicate with a liar, & as long as she lacks the courtesy to be truthful it isn’t going to happen.

DH & I talked about them going back to counseling some more yesterday. BM isn’t going to start contacting anyone until after they get back from the beach. I told him if she doesn’t jump on it when they get back, we need to look into at least getting him & SS into something on our insurance. We’ll have a co-pay that they don’t have with their Medicaid coverage, but at least they’ll be doing something.

He said after their first session he’s going to stay & talk to the counselor about what has happened with their counselors in the past…how as soon as BM starts to feel like anything is being blamed on her or being told she’s parenting any way but the right way, she’ll pull the kids & they’ll have to start from scratch with a new counselor. Maybe knowing that will help the counselor be able to maneuver their sessions to help keep that from happening. If not, like I said, we’ll put SS & DH in together & let them make progress together. As for SD, if she knows BM doesn’t like the counselor, she won’t like them either & will refuse to go under our insurance. We’ll just keep hoping she comes around with time.

BM also asked DH if he “knocked the guy out” (DH's boss) when he made the remark about SD the other day. You know…the thing DH mentioned with SS in the room & then asked him to “keep it under his hat” because BM & SD didn’t need to be upset by it. Yep…SS “just mentioned” it to BM. I’m sure it was only a matter of minutes before she carried it to SD. That may be why SD “unfriended” me. I’m still not sure what that was about, & I'm still beyond caring at this point. DH told BM that no, he didn’t because he’d have gone to jail. That’s a no-win with BM. If he’d hit the guy & gone to jail, she’d call him a piece of shit for not paying his CS. Now, because he didn’t hit the guy & go to jail, he’s a piece of shit for not defending his daughter. Whatever dumb bitch.

I hate her with a passion & can’t imagine how it can be better for those kids to have her around than to have her dead…or just not around…ever again. I swear if she dies before me, I will travel to her grave & plant skunk weed & sticker bushes all over it. I will tend to it on a regular basis to make sure they thrive.