She called around 12:30pm & the kids were still in bed. He said the first thing out of her mouth was, "Where's my check?".

DH: BM, I mailed your check yesterday (Monday).

BM: Well, why so late? When I talked to Storm she promised she'd be mailing them first thing on Friday mornings.

DH: Yeah, that's when I was getting paid every Friday & we were sending personal checks. She could put a check in the mail Friday & my check would be in the bank by the time you cashed it. Then, since you refuse to open a bank account so you could cash the checks, you decided you wanted to do money orders instead. We have to pay CASH for a money order, which means we can't buy it until after I've been paid. My first unemployment check just hit the bank yesterday (Monday).

BM: *panic-stricken* Well I've been out of cigarettes for 2 days now & I got stung this morning.

Okay, so as he's finishing this sentence, I jump in.

Me: Why does she think anyone gives 2 shits about how long she's been out of cigarettes, & what does a CS check have to do with her getting stung? I mean, really, she's just throwing it out there that she needs your CS check so she can buy cigarettes??? What a dumb-ass!

DH: Yep, that's what she said. I don't know what getting stung has to do with the check, but when I told her people get stung all the time she said her ankle swelled up & she couldn't drive to the hospital.

Me: THE HOSPITAL??? She's going to the hospital for a bee-sting???

DH: Well, she DIDN'T go to the hospital because she said she couldn't drive. She said she's developed an allergy to bee-stings in the last year.

Me: And she didn't die? It's a shame, but at least she knows she doesn't have to run up ER bills on the Medicaid that me & you & all the other taxpayers are paying for when she gets a freaking bee-sting. Maybe you can stick that tid-bit in her pocket next time you talk to her...*eyeroll*

DH: Anyway, it opened an opportunity for me to ask about the title to SS's car, indicating that if she'd take him to get his learners & let him title his car in his name, he'd be able to take her where she needs to go if she isn't able to drive herself.

Me: She hasn't found it, has she?

DH: Nope. She said she hasn't looked for it, & that she thinks he has a drinking problem & as long as he'd drinking she doesn't want him driving anyway.

Me: I KNEW IT!!! I TOLD you she wasn't going to let go of that title! She never will because that car is the only thing she has left to control him with!

DH: *frustrated because I keep interupting* Anyway, she's convinced I've caused him to have a drinking problem because he drank your vodka at our house a few weeks ago. I asked her about the bottle of Skyy Vodka she bought for him & his friend to drink, & she said it was a lie. I asked her about SS & his friend getting drunk at the beach & she said she made a mistake. She bought herself a little bottle (1/5th) of Absolut & accidently left it in the freezer when she took SD & her friend down to the beach & SS & friend were drunk & throwing up when she got back. She said she didn't know anything about the Southern Comfort they had with it. She was pissed because SS told her that I laughed when he told me about them chasing that shit with milk & getting sick. She said that I encouraged his drinking by laughing.

Me: So, SHE didn't encourage him by being the cool mom & buying his first bottle? She didn't encourage him by leaving a bottle in the freezer at the beach? Why is it okay for her to supply it, but it isn't okay for you to laugh at him being stupid enough to chase whiskey with milk???

DH: I don't know. She said it's because I'm a bad example for him. She said she doesn't drink anymore & she doesn't smoke pot anymore.

Me: Whoa! She doesn't drink anymore??? So, if she doesn't drink anymore why did she buy herself the bottle of vodka that was left in the freezer that he drank?

DH: I don't even confront those comments anymore. It just makes more argument. Point is, she said she's not going to title his car in his name until he quits drinking. She's not going to help him get his learner's until he quits drinking.

Me: So the car she gave him 2 years ago for his 16th birthday, because she's a cool mom, isn't really HIS car. Has it occured to her that maybe he drinks because he's depressed? Maybe because he has no structure in his life? He has nothing else to do. He doesn't go to school. He doesn't have a job because he doesn't have a car to get to a job. The only kid he socializes with is this kid he smokes pot & eats pills with!

DH: She also said that if he leaves her house to live with me or anyone else all he's taking is his clothes. She's keeping his laptop, his cell phone, his Xbox, & furniture. She said she wants him to know that her place will always be a home for him. She got mad when I told her she was fucking up. I told her she needs to help him prepare to make his own home...a life separate from her. It's okay to let him know if he hits a bump & needs a place to stay for a little bit he can come back...but you have to help him grow up. You can't let him feel like it's okay to live with you forever. He's growing up & you need to help him get on his own feet.

BM: Well, I'm not ready for all that.

Me: So, she really believes that a cell phone, a laptop, & an Xbox will be enough to keep him from going anywhere? You know, all this shit she's trying to hold him there with...the harder she tries to control him, the harder he's going to push her away. Once he gets a taste of freedom, he's going to put as much distance between him & her as he can, & I guarantee he won't come back to visit for a loooong time. Not to mention...why does EVERYTHING boil down to what she wants & what she is or isn't ready for??? Why is she telling you she needs CS so she can buy cigarettes? I mean, the woman lies about E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. that doesn't matter? Why wouldn't she at least pretend the kids don't have any food or something? And who cares if she got stung by a fucking bee??? Who cares if SHE isn't ready for her son to grow up??? Why does she get to decide when her son will be allowed to grow up? Why does she have to control EVERY fucking thing EVERYBODY does? Why can't she just PARENT her children...teach them how to be respectable responsible people? Teach them what they need to learn & chances are they will become decent people! CONTROLLING them just makes them angry & bitter & pushes them away. HE NEEDS THIS! Why can she not get over herself to help her child make a life for himself?

Jody: I don't know why, honey. Maybe we should talk about something else.

Me: BECAUSE SHE'S A HATEFUL UGLY SELFISH DESPARATE BITTER HAG, & she knows that once her children leave, she'll be alone because NO one can stand her fucking ass! *deep breath* What do you want to talk about?

Jody: Let's talk about what we're having for dinner...

LOL! After a few deep breaths & a short conversation about dinner, I did calmly tell him I'm glad he doesn't get mad at me or scold me for expressing my honest thoughts about his ex-wife, & he calmly apologized for my having to deal with the turmoil of his ex-wife. He went on to say that he's so thankful to have such a kind & patient highly-spirited (that part was kind of mentioned under his breath) wife & that my love & support for him & the kids means everything to him.

Yeah...we'll be sure to put a rush on that CS support check from now on...nasty skeez.