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Awww, helllll...

StickAFork's picture

Just blowing off a little steam.

SD is preggers, and now I'M starting to get baby fever.

I'm *only* (haha) 36, but I started my family young. My SD (the one I basically raised) is 22, and my bios are 12, 15, and 18.

However, DH and I are still plenty young to pop out another one. (His kids are 19 and 24.)

We have agreed that we don't want an "ours," and I know that's the right decision.

I still agree with it.

I'm just kinda... man, that baby stuff sure is cute, and babies are all snuggly, and I can actually afford all that crap now ( Smile ) and I'm just itching with baby fever.

DH has said if I want a baby he'll oblige. But do I REALLY want that?

I need to borrow a colicky infant / pain in the ass toddler for a few days!

Comments

StickAFork's picture

LOL. Smile

I just keep thinking... diapers, stroller, high chair, crying...

I just need to borrow a cranky baby and scratch that itch.

Clearly An Upgrade's picture

Just went through this. Had my first at 22, and got the fever BAD when DD12 was about 8. After much contemplation, we began to scratch the itch. (A fairly accurate description, actually }:) ) It took over two years to conceive, and sadly we lost the first baby. I became pregnant again about six months later, and now we have our lovely DD2.

She is so beautiful. So sweet. So loving and fun.

She's also hell on wheels. I never get to sit down EVER. She STILL doesn't sleep through the night. She is nothing like our first, who was (and still is) mellow, quiet, and calm. My back hurts, my head hurts, my hair hurts. She has lovely quirks, like kicking and bouncing while I attempt to change her shitty diapers. Not the wet ones. Just the super full of wet shit diapers, so of course I always end up getting some on my hand and under my fingernails trying to wipe her. She also has a penchant for throwing tantrums (thankfully not very often in public). When she's told not to do something, she looks at me, smiles, and does it anyway. Thank God this part is temporary, but I'm sad she's gotten so big, so fast. DH and I have only been out alone together four times in two years. Complete and total life change. And we were SO CLOSE to being done!

The strain on my body has been way intense. Pregnancy was a suckfest of epic proportions. I hated every single minute of it, except maybe a week or two during my sixth month. The hormonal changes were WAY different (worse) than with my first.

Never again for me. I was ill prepared physically, even though I should have known better. Baby Dreamland is an amazing place where all of the pain and difficulties of pregnancy and babies are easily forgotten.

She's worth it, for sure. But there are days when my sanity hangs by a thread, and some days when it's entirely non-existent. In fact, today is one of those days!! Cheers to whatever decision you make.

Clearly An Upgrade's picture

Omg, wait...did I read this correctly Kay? You have a two year old, one year old, AND are expecting!!!?!! Holy shit. You're either crazy tough or just crazy Smile !!! My gripes feel pretty small now.

Frustr8d1's picture

Are you CRAZY?? You would be the first person to tell everyone else on this site to STOP this kind of thinking!! If your youngest is 12, you and DH are just around the corner from being a couple with no children getting in the way of an adult relationship. No more complications to add to the fire!

Like you tell everyone else on this site--GET OVER IT!! After all the complications you've endured, don't add complications again when you can finally see the light at the end...

AngeLily's picture

LOL just remember the diapers, midnight feedings, ear infections, teething, baby proofing, diapers, 3 a.m. feedings, sore nipples or stinky bottles, crying because they can't talk, packing the diaper bag around, colic, clothing that fit last week doesn't fit this week, diapers....
I wouldn't change the fact that I have my baby girl (and my next youngest is 12 too) but OMG it is a whole different experience when you also have teens and SKids.
One positive though, at least DH doesn't scream at me to "shut that kid up"....
Hope whatever you do is what makes you happiest Smile

Unfreakingreal's picture

I'm shocked that you're only 36. Why'd I think you were so much older? You'd be absolutely crazy to have a kid now. Especially already knowing what raising kids entails. I will always wonder what an "ours" baby would have been like. My DH is a beautiful human being and it would have been nice to have a baby from a man that actually enjoys being a father and is present in his kids lives, but that wasn't in the cards for us as I tied my tubes after BS15.
I think being able to be as young as you are with almost all grown kids would be a really great time to connect with your DH, enjoy your life, travel and do things together that you can't do when you have a screaming baby up your ass 24/7.
If you have a baby itch, you are about to be a Step GM very soon, so enjoy that baby and then you can ship him back off to his rightful owner.

3familiesIn1's picture

SAF,
I went through this over and over and over, I am now 39. I have baby fever, I want the baby... but do I want the teenager when I am 60? That is my answer and why I don't have the baby. Do I want the 10 year old when I am 50?

I have 2 healthy wonderful bios - if I didn't then my answers to the above might differ.

The other day I saw a woman walking her grade 5 student into the school when I took my younger daughter to school and she was pushing a stroller with an infant and my instant first thought was OMG - what a mistake lady to which I immediately was like - yup - there is your answer. That would be me, my youngest is in the 3rd grade.

You got to do whats right for you - but make sure you want another child in your life, not just the baby fever.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

I don't know... I'd be tempted to have one.... my mom had me when she was 36 but I was her and my dad's first.

Says we keep her looking young because she didn't want to look like our grandmother instead of our mom....

I mean they're adorable, and just one more person to love. You and your hubby will be putting your efforts in to grow and nurture something that is truly for the both of you... and aren't you dying with curiosity as to how you mixed with him would be?

And, just think, in a few years you will forget it due to the amnesia associated with having kids.

God I'm not helping.

Okay, there is literally no true good reason to have kids at ALL except to perpetuate our species. Like none. Anything I can come up with is for a selfish reason. And they scream and cry and sneak out and do things that causes gray hairs and heart attacks....

Nope, don't have a super cute babbling baby that will call you mommy and your husband daddy, and toddle towards the two of you when you are watching her at a park. Nope, don't do that at all....

Shaman29's picture

You just made me flash back to when my little sister was pregnant with her 3rd kids. She has an SD and when she was about 2 months along, the DD announced she was pregnant too.

My niece's son had two aunts who were 5 and 7 years old and an uncle who was two months older.

RedWingsFan's picture

Funny you say this because DH and I just discussed it last night. Since it's impossible for us to have an "ours" baby (he had a vasectomy and my tubes were tied 10 yrs ago) plus I'm 40 and he's 38 - we have fun talking about what a baby would be like but realize we're just not going to ever have one.

Besides, our daughters are both 14 (mine will be 15 in a couple of months) and neither live with us. It sure is nice being able to do what we want WHEN we want. That kind of freedom usually only comes to much older adults than we are.

I say borrow someone's colicky infant (my daughter was colicky for her first YEAR) AND someone's unruly toddler at the SAME TIME! That'll cure your baby fever right quick!

StickAFork's picture

Thanks, ladies, for the comments!!
UFR, haha, I *feel* so much older because I live a much older life!
Shoot, I'll be 37 with my two oldest (SD and DS) out of high school, and by the time my youngest is done, I'll only be 43!
I want to enjoy my adulthood. It's kinda nice to be in a place financially and professionally where I can start to focus on something other than being a caregiver. I enjoy being a mom, and basically have spent my entire adulthood being a mommy.
Now, I am learning to redefine myself... and it's a bit weird.

Just last night, I commented to DH how "weird" it is that I have no toy shopping to do for my kids at Christmas. No Toys R Us, no nothing. It's all electronics and clothes. Smile

It's just that I was the mom with the double stroller and a kid on each side holding the handle for so long... it just feels weird.

Then add in SD being preggers. (Although it would be WEIRD to have an aunt or uncle who is younger than you!!)

Then add in all the people I went to HS with posting about their pregnancies/babies on FB and I realize I'm not *that* old. Smile

Anyway, I think DH might actually have a heart attack if he had a grandchild older than his child!!

Unfreakingreal's picture

SAF, I'll be 43 next week and I don't feel so old but I know exactly what you mean. I've been a mom a REALLY long time so I'm done with child rearing.
When my youngest is done with HS I'll be 45. I can say that I found purpose in being a mom, but I am ready to just live for me. I want to be able to say "Next year we're going to Europe" and not have to feel guilty about it because I always want to take my kids with me.
I like having the freedom that when my girlfriends call and say "Hey UFR, we're going to see a Broadway show and have dinner after would you like to join us?" I don't have to think about sitters and arrangements and all that other crap we deal with when they're younger.
Everything happens for a reason, there was a reason why I had them so young, so I can enjoy my life while I'm still fairly young as well.

Newstep's picture

SAF I am 41 and went through the same thing. SD22 had our first grandbaby he is 6mos old and an absolute joy. I love him dearly and SO and I joked about having one. We absolutely can't because I had a tubal ligation after my DS18 and he had a vasectomy after SD13 but it was funny to joke about it. Plus after babysitting grandbaby we are absolutely exhausted. It was so much easier when I was younger LOL