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SM2one, Heaven, BMJen, BBB, Belle, DPW - And any one else that may know my situation... I forgot to add

Stick's picture

Ladies - thanks for answering my last blog... I forgot to add a piece of info....

DH got BM to sign the revised Divorce Agreement! And it has been signed by a judge on March 23rd and is in the process of being filed with the court.

In the latest revision...

BM agrees to pay DH child support ($100 less per month than she is required) but she did agree

Her half of SD's health insurance

Half of all other expenses (maybe she would have been better agreeing to the $100 a month extra with prom and exam costs coming up!)

and DH's portion of the marital residence.

If she does not pay DH all that she owes him by May 1st, 2011 - including CS arrears, insurance arrears from now until then and expenses from now until then, and DH's share of the marital residence, she will be court ordered to turn over the deed to the marital residence to DH.

She signed it. The judge signed it.

Ladies - do you think this is why BM is trying so hard with SD?

SD and her mom were talking on the phone today - for a whole 12 minutes! That may not seem like a long time... but trust me.. it is LONG for them. And they actually had a great conversation about the Prom. BM is saying all of the right things to SD. Telling her that whether she goes solo or with the date she wants to go with, she will have a great time. Telling SD about her own prom. Not pressuring SD.

Could she have truly changed? Or is DH right when he thinks that BM is now trying so hard because of the agreement and will try to get out of paying by having a better relationship with SD?

Could that be it?

Comments

Amazed's picture

Oh I really want to see her as good deep down...maybe the weight of signing such a big court order with all those details about her daughter in it really hit her hard enough to make her try to change? Some people have a hot button for change...maybe this was hers

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Stick, I didn't comment on the other blog but I did read it and went back and re-read it again tonight.... at first I thought, wow, maybe she's coming around, but then I read THIS one and I'm really leaning towards thinking DPW is right. With her past history I think she probably is manipulating the situation to her benefit. Is she really capable of putting her daughter before herself? She hasn't for how many years now, so I would be very leery of thinking she is doing this for the right reasons now. I don't mean to be a downer here, but after reading all that she agreed to, it just really seems more like a manipulation tactic than sincerity to me. I would definitely keep my eyes wide open on this one. If your girl gets hurt, and she probably will, you will once again be the one left to pick up the pieces of her broken heart Stick.

You are one hell of a good mama. Just thought you should be reminded of that again. Smile

belleboudeuse's picture

I agree. Something smells here. I think it's manipulation. Honestly, even if it isn't, and she's really trying, she probably will get sick of the effort pretty soon. Yes, be careful. She agreed to a LOT -- and I just don't buy that she's going to do it all. I think her goal is to get SD back so this order will have to be revisited. She thinks that she can get SD to move in with her or something, and then she'll call your DH and say, "The situation has changed, so I'm not going to abide by the agreement -- we'll have to go back to the court and change it."

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

Nemo's picture

I'm sorry stick, but I agree with them.

Be careful!!

Just remember, your the mom who counts in her life. You're the one who has been there everyday! And when BM hurts her you will be the one to pick her up off the floor.

How can some people put the needs of their selves instead of having a good relationship with their child?

****"She had his past. I have his future." The Lovely Belleboudeuse****

Stick's picture

Raising a toast to you girls and saying Thank you and Cheers...

DH and I will definitely be careful.

The way the signing over the deed to the marital residence came about was because BM starting telling DH that she wouldn't pay him his share of the marital residence, or wouldn't be able to, when SD graduates. And then we saw how many loans she took out against the house in that time, while not paying DH and also not putting anything aside for SD.

The only way to secure the debt was to put the deed to the house on it. And that was the mediator's idea!

We thought that she signed it because she is expecting her mom to pass (how sad). But even then, we know she won't want to give DH his share of the marital residence.

We also know that whatever happens, we'll probably have another court fight in a year.

Thanks again ladies for answering...

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***