Electra complex??

Sorry to sound sick and twisted, just this is the only sense I can make of it. You'd have to snoop to find out, but does she own, read, write - um . . . - passionate stories? Is there a strong undertone of authority figure male and young girl?

Wow, yeah, serious issues here.

Okay, you might start watching the news/Nancy Grace with this Casey Anthony trial. This awful woman has now accused her father of molesting her. She recently remembered that and now during her trial, has blamed her father for inappropriate behavior.

You might want to point that out to your husband. Let him watch the trial and what this woman (on charges of murdering her 2 year old baby) and her lawyer are revealing. Is it true?? Don't know... but after 3 years with this murder case, she just remembered it. And while her father was being questioned if he'd ever inappropriately touched her...as he said "no"...guess what...Casey Anthony was shaking her head no, too. I believe she was agreeing with the father...No, he never had!!!! But that was my interpretation of what her body language spelled out. She's definately thrown her dad under the bus to take the blame of her wrong doing off her.

Anyways, your husband is really messing around with fire and all her lovely doviness can certainly backfire on him. He needs to be very careful, be the adult in this situation with his "little girl".

Good luck, you and your husband need to sit down and discuss this. If he sees no wrong in what's happening, seek professional help. If something is going on, you want to be out of it!!

If I was sitting in the recliner, and he plopped onto my lap, wrapped his arms around my neck and started nuzzling me,
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This gave me a laugh. When my son was 14, he was about 4 inches taller than me and weighed 30 lb more than me. I would have been fighting for air. Lol
Everything you said is right on the money. It is very…icky.

The men find this oddly flattering and view their daughters as a "BM do-over"

They consider their relationship with the BM a failure (obviously) but yet accept far too much blame for it.

As weird at that seems, this is one of the conclusions that you can come to.

Then, when the manipulative daughter, who showers daddykins with affections in the very real expectation that it will loosen his wallet and divert funds away from the EEEEEVVVIIIIL SM, finds that daddykins is pulling away, the ABUSE charges begin to fly.

Daddykins is left dumbfounded. The same way the sugar daddies on those court shows who BELIEVED that their 20 something playboy model "girlfriend" REALLY loved him are SHOCKED beyond belief!!

"But, but, but I thought she LOVED me!!??"

How would the poster cover this topic with DH? I imagine that he would be offended and then accuse her of having something wrong with her for even suggesting.

this is a topic that has been on here a few times, I always wonder what can you really do?

Maybe you need a nanny cam, video tape this behavior maybe if he see's the behavior in another context, not while its happening he will see just how perverse it is. I think sometimes people don't relize things while there happening they need evidence, show him the tape and go look at this if you saw another father/daughter combo doing this you would think it was sick.

In response to the original poster, I wouldn't make such a fuss about this, really. It's perfectly normal. I would let it be.

Maybe when SD was little, she didn't get a lot of attention from her dad (???) but now that they are older (and more self-sufficient) the Dad can step in and be a dad to them. Be their mentor, etc.

Example: My daughter acted like a mini-me with her dad. One day he came home from work and she had her hands on her hips and demanded to know why he was late. ROTFL and she's always on her older brother, too. If I tell him to do something, she mimic's me and says "Mom told you to do something, you better do it!" It's kinda cute.

PS kids always need money and they shouldn't have to ask or feel guilty. No need to get angry or make it into something else. The ability to provide for children doesn't necessarily have to end at 18.

Driving you can't be serious...perfectly normal? In what world? Your daughter acting like she is an adult and entitled to boss her dad is cute??

Does everything on the subject of a SD have to be 'bad' or blamed on the BM?

I don't think it's about the BM or reliving/repairing his failure, or incest as it was implied here. The Daddy's girl thing is probably more common than you think, even in intact families.

What is the problem. The only one that doesn't like it is SM. Perhaps there is some competion there on the SM side?

Yes, I thought it was cute when my daughter ( age 8 ) stood up to her dad (200 lbs) and from nowhere, demanded to know why he was late. We were making dinner at the time and we usually wait until Dad is there to eat together?

As for the 17 year old, that is still pretty young. They aren't kids and not quite adults yet either.

I am 38 yrs old and still a "daddy's girl" but i never did those things with my Dad. At 10 my parents were divorced. At 12 I was put in a foster home then went to live with my dad. To this day i still do the same things .... hug him, sit by him on the couch - sort of cuddle - and that is leaning on him w/o my feet in his crotch & his arm leaning between my legs (my SD12 & BF do that = ew) and i kiss my dad on the lips goodbye (i see him like 3 times a year) and that's about it. When i was 12 and he was single -- i crawled into his bed about once a month for 6 months or so. I did gripe at my dad when he was late but i was the woman of the house at the time ... when my SM came along -- i was a kid/teen again.

Call me jealous or whatever but i think it is gross as my BF & SD12 are like this too! I see him cuddle with her constantly just as he would me when she is there. And yes -- i am tired of being an EOW girlfriend after 3 yrs. About a year ago - i walked into MY room when SD & BF were supposed to be reading and he was laying down & SD was sitting up & straddling him, she immediately jumped off when i walked into the room. Do i think he is molesting or anything like that? NO, but i still think there is just something wrong ..... lack of boundaries or something.

There's no two ways about it - it's gross. Take a picture of them maybe so he can see for himself. Your DH may feel violated if you use a nannycam, but if faced with something that looks inappropriate, it may help open his eyes. The sickness is on both sides though - the SD has an unaddressed need and is acting very inappropriately...can you say future lap dancer or sugar daddy victim? And the dad is messed up about his ex and needs to just stop it. He's in a relationship with YOU and not his ex, and if that's where his head is, and he's transforming his daughter into his exWIFE, bleck, just nasty and inappropriate all around. They both need to live in the present in an appropriate way. I'm dealing with this a little. It's not too bad - not like this at all, but my DH has said his oldest (SD15) looks like his ex and they seem to have a very very different relationship than he and SD13 who looks more like him. DH and SD15...ohhhhhh goodness...I just can't go there...they act it out in a lot of different ways that get under my skin enough. If they cuddled and she talked like you're describing though, I'd lose it. I don't know how you aren't comming unglued. It would make me feel like he was cheating.

I started counselling with my husband over this issue and a few others. The way I approached it with him was this "Would you feel uncomfortable with your 16 or 13 year old daughter laying on top of you with your parents in the room?" "Would you look at a man as a pervert if he looked over 40 and was holding hands with a teenage girl in public?" If you answered yes to either of these questions, how to you expect me to react when it happens in front of me all the time. I will no longer tolerate being made to feel uncomfortable in my own home by inappropriate acts of affection between yourself and two almost grown daughters. If this does not change I am GONE!!!! I am your wife and will be treated with the same respect you afford to your parents or a stranger by NOT subjecting me to this behavior. It is TOTALLY inappropriate and you will NEVER touch your teenage daughters the same way you touch me EVER AGAIN or I am GONE!!!! Believe me, once I brought it to the forefront, it has not happened again and this was 6 months ago. He now shows me that type of affection in front of his girls to make them understand that this is the way a married or committed couple shows affection to each other, not a dad to his daughters. Yes, he is still affectionate with them as far as hugs and kisses but no more cuddling and laying all over each other.