Well, lets start with SS19. He is back in jail AGAIN, due to not paying his court fees. DH and I read it in Sat. paper. We are not worried or really care, as he brought this on himself, so he can deal with the punishment.
Sunday late morning MMM sent DH a FB PM (not he is not friends with her on FB).
She had the following to say:
"our baby boy is in jail again. for 10 days. got picked up on friday for contempt of court for not paying court fines. has another court hearing on thurs for a second contempt charge for not paying court fines and is facing up to another 10 days or the judge could have him do time served. visitation is on wed 920am and thurs 840pm. if you want to give him monies for commisary or whatever its called it needs to be there monday between 830am-400pm and they only accept money orders.
just thought you would like to know all of this information."

DH did not answer her back as it didnt seem like he needed to. A few hours later she called him, but not from her cell phone, but from her BF home phone. Dh didnt know who it was so he didnt answer. She left him a VM, asking if he got her FB message.
DH still did not answer her.
Not even 10 min. later she called him again "I thought you called me back. Did you get my VM and my FB message?" "Yes" "why didnt you answer me then" "I didnt think I needed to" "whatever....g'bye!!"

DH was on his FB last night around 9pm and she sent the following message and then the response back and forth.

MMM: "DH, i dont understand you at all. you act like you dont care at all that our son is in jail again. you act like you are so high and mighty and above all that and your children are so beneath you.
do i need to remind you of what you did in the past? that you had help....ME! that i encouraged you to be better than that life and stronger for your family. instead of trying to help your children grow out of the lifestyle choices they keep making you tear them down. from someone that has been there, done that i would think that you would want to help them. encourage them. be their father. the their guiding light away from their bad choices. but instead you turn your back on them and act like (from their point of view) that the only children you have are your step kids.
SS19 isn't your step child. he is your blood son. SS21 may not have been born your blood son but you are the only father he ever called daddy. the only daddy he ever knew. yet you continue (since you have been with SSHM) to disclaim him. maybe not by the words that come out of your mouth but by actions you make all the time. the lack of including him when it comes to family functions and purposely not including him at times.
i know that our sons have not made good choices. but i love them none the less. they are my boys. they are my sons. my blood. i will never make them feel unwanted or unloved by me. or that other people are more important to me than they are.
i am ashamed that you have let that happen all these years. i feel bad that you are losing your sons' respect and that they feel as if you dont love them. i feel helpless that there isn't anything i can do but write these words and only have you ignore them because you can't see what you are doing to them.
all i can say is it TRULY breaks my heart.
just be thankful that your parents weren't like you and they never turned their back on you despite bad decisions you made in your life. they still love you, they are still there for you. they have helped you over and over and over again. even when you were unable to give back. i know because i was there. i was part of your life then and part of you growing into the man you are today. i never thought for one second you would become the father that you have to our boys. if your mom and dad knew how you were treating them i think they would be ashamed too.
in the end all you have is the love of your family. you have pushed so many people away in the past few years that all you are going to have is SSHM and whomever she allows to be near you. she has made it clear that SS21 and SS19 aren't welcome.
and if you think these words are just those of a jealous ex-wife, you are wrong. i am not jealous...i haven't wanted anything but your happiness for a long time. my heart just aches for my children who get hurt by their own father and my heart aches for a man that was once my best friend."

DH: "The only person I have "pushed away" is YOU!! That is why you are my EX-WIFE. I have NOT pushed my sons away, they know where we live and they are welcome any time that we are home. She has NEVER nor would EVER say that the boys are not welcome here. She doesn't tell me who I can and cannot hang around. I believe that was YOU when we were married!!
If one of the boys goes to jail, I am sure I will read it in the paper or someone else will let me know. I dont really need you letting me know. I can always call the jail and find out the visitation times for myself.
I don't know where you are coming up with this shit, but I think maybe you need help!!!
I am going to say this one time and one time only......Only if one of the boys is in the hospital, like as in life or death, ever contact me again. I dont have time for this nonsense."

MMM: "funny thing is DH this doesn't even sound like you responding. but the stuff i said was how our children feel....the words they have shared with me but dont feel comfortable sharing with you. like it or not. i am sorry, i didn't know there was a "no contact" restriction between you and i. we talk just fine when we see each other in public. i have never stopped considering you my friend."

All I can think is WOW SOMEONE HAS SOME MAJOR ISSUES!!!!