Published in this morning's paper...

Dear Amy: I recently got divorced. My wife told me she had fallen out of love, and I agreed to leave.

We have two girls, ages 6 and 9. We're great parents and get along well. We try to be good for the sake of the children.

My older daughter has blamed my ex for making her daddy leave. She's out of control and doesn't mind her mother well.

They argue constantly. Our daughter is having trouble in school and is lying and being disobedient.

For a while after we broke up, I was going to the house and sleeping over as friends. The kids saw us hug and kiss and said, "You guys look so good together!" and, "Give daddy a kiss, Mommy!"

I would take them out for dinner, movies and other outings. We spent time together as a family, despite the divorce.

Now my ex is seeing someone. I've met him and approve of him, even though I longed for a chance to get back together.

She told me they've decided to move in together -- with the kids.

I think this might confuse the children and cause more damage, especially to the older one who's having the most trouble with our divorce. I think this is selfish.

Shouldn't she wait?

-- Helpless Husband

Dear Helpless: I applaud your good relationship with your ex, but your closeness is creating problems for you and especially your children.

Your kids are confused because they can't figure out why their parents -- whom they love very much and who are so affectionate with each other -- aren't together.

Every young child fantasizes that his or her parents will stay together. This fantasy is intensified after a divorce. It is fueled by a child's own obvious wishes and movies like "The Parent Trap."

It is vital that you establish and maintain definite boundaries, so the kids understand that you and your ex love them but that you aren't together as a couple.

I agree that your ex should not have a man move in -- or sleep over -- when the kids are there. That includes you. You and your ex should consider seeing a professional counselor who could help you clarify matters for your kids.