So we had a phone conference with BM regarding SD13 because:
1. I caught SD creating a fake FB profile.
2. She lied to DH and I about it, plus told us her mother didn't mind if she had one
3. She lied to her mother about it, told her she deleted it.
4. She's getting better grades in school now, but she's still 2 grade levels behind in Reading and doing intensive classes.
5. She has a terrible attitude.

My blood is boiling right now. Here's why:
1. I have been doing some work with SD on the weekends. But because we are trying to involve BM now, BM insinuates that what I'm doing isn't helping (since SD is still isnt't up to grade level), and says that since none of us parents are qualified, probably SD needs a tutor, but those are expensive and she doesn't have the money for that.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. None of us parents are qualified to be PARENTS? Apparently BM thinks she can't help her own kid with schoolwork and therefore we can't either.

2. She claims this is the first time we are having this type of conversation with her. We have been trying to have this discussion with her since I married DH. Back then she didn't even want me to go on HER kids' school website. Anyway, again insinuating that it's DH's fault SD is having problems because we haven't had this conversation with her until now.

3. She says if we keep giving them work to do they're not going to want to come. AND?? You know what, I forgot to ask if if she's not going to send them if they say they don't want to come.

4. She advises on letting the attitude slide unless it's something major (which teenage girls don't have an attitude?), but we can do what we want in our house.

5. She says Reading is just something that SD has decided that she hates and she can't MAKE her read. SD sees it as punishment. She's not going to make SD read if she doesn't want to, she's especially not going to make SD do any reading that isn't fun.

6. SD doesn't have the time during the week to do extra work, she already has homework. (But if DH can fork out the cash for a tutor, I'm sure SD can find the time)

7. We discipline at our house and she disciplines at hers, which means she's not supporting any revocation of Facebook priviledge for the fake Facebook stuff.

A little part of me even wishes that SD gets held back, just to prove my point to this woman. But that would be too sad for SD. I'm sure she could be doing much better, if she had a more interested and concerned mother. And there's absolutely nothing I can do about it, other than the stuff I do on the weekend.

I HATE this stepfamily life.