9 months and counting
I struggle so much about writing on this site. I’m always afraid that either my DH or BM or the kids themselves will find this site. Maybe I’m overthinking the whole thing.
So…... since getting the kids last December so many things have happened. But the most important is that I learned a new word. Disengaging. Who would have thought I would have disengaged? Don’t get me wrong. I love my sk’s. For the most part they are good kids. Do they sometimes annoy me? Yes. Do I sometimes wish they didn’t live with us? Yes…. I have accepted my new reality. I also don’t foresee them ever going back to live with BM or even visiting her. Why you might ask??? Well BM sold their beds…. Yup, you read that right. A couple months after the kids moved in they commented on how she was going to come to our city and rent a hotel and do some sightseeing with them. Then it turned into she would pick them up and take them back to her house… 3 hours away from us. But they would have to stay in a hotel there… wait what???… why stay at a hotel and not at her home??? Because she sold their beds. What kind of a crazy BM are we dealing with here. Did she ever have any intensions of ever bringing the kids back to visit???? Did I mention there’s 4 kids ages 11 – 17???? I mean sleeping on the couch in the living room is out of the question no one has enough couches for 4 big adult size kids.
I did get a 1-week relief this summer. BM’s parents picked up the kids for 1 week and took them camping. It was lovely.
I have so much I want to share, and I think this would be a good platform for me to connect with people that understand my situation. I’m tired of hearing you knew what you were getting into when you married a man with kids. THEY DIDN’T LIVE WITH HIM WHEN WE MARRIED!!!! I’m sorry for yelling I will try to keep my anger under control. Next person that says that to me they better watch out. (oops that sounded a little angry).
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Yell all you want here, we
Yell all you want here, we have all heard that same phrase that can only come from stupid in the first place, venting here is better than venting IRL to the wrong person at the wrong time, let it go scream, yell, howl if you so wish, we have all heard worse and done worse.
Keep on posting !
This is my worst nightmare.
This is my worst nightmare. Full-time skids- I don't know if I could do it.
This is a testament to the
This is a testament to the idea that "it can happen at anytime"
We're always telling posters who come on dating/living with their boyfriends and complaining about his kids that he can get custody at ANY. TIME. It is so important to keep that in mind. I feel for you, I really do. I knew my husband had full-custody when I met him, I can't imagine going from weekends or every other weekend to every single day in the blink of an eye.
Well - it is true that if you
Well - it is true that if you marry a guy with kids, they could become full-time residents of your home at any time. BMs go crazy, give up custody and just flat-out die sometimes. So while I agree that no one should say that to you (it's dismissive and rude), it is kind of true.
That phrase
It drives me insane when people say you knew what you were getting into. First of all, no I didn't entirely know what i was getting into. I knew he had a kid yes, I was not able to predict the future and know how it would play out over time. Believe it or not kids do change as they grow. Second, everyone that complains about any part of their marriage or DH "knew what they were getting into" but no one says that about anything else do they? Also, love makes you blind in the beginning and I think most people have experienced that at some point. Idk why stepkids is the only thing that is so evil to vent about to people.
Thanks to this site, I
Thanks to this site, I listened to my gut feeling and did not move in with my SO. He had SD17 50/50.
Well guess what, now she is staying with him FULL TIME! So glad I don't live with them!
Good for you Blue Moon and
Good for you Blue Moon and glad you listened to your gut, it never steers you wrong. Cheers to a wonderful weekend and a toast to not dealing with the BS.
I used to worry about what I
I used to worry about what I posted here and then it dawned on me: BM would have to actually think about me and how I’m feeling to even think about looking up a blogging place for stepmoms and narcissists aren’t prone to think of anyone but themselves relatively. My DH knows I used the site and my skid is too little to care. That being said I do delete some blogs that I feel are too in-depth.