Dear Valued Users,
It's with a heavy heart that we announce the permanent closure of StepTalk.org on August 31st, 2025.
This decision wasn't an easy one. For over twenty years, StepTalk has been a source of support for stepparents around the world! However, over the years, the costs associated with maintaining and upgrading the site to remain secure, meet current standards and maintain availability have become unsustainable.
We are incredibly grateful for your support, contributions and the community you've helped us build. Your engagement has made StepTalk.org a special place and we cherish the memories and connections made here.
We would especially like to thank Aniki for volunteering to be a moderator and for caring so much.
Thank you for being a part of our journey and we wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Dawn and The StepTalk Team
Comments
Every visit with the kids is
Every visit with the kids is a day at Disneyland - always buying them stuff, doing fun things, with no rules or limits.
But if you only see your kid
But if you only see your kid 4x a month (EOWe) how do you not be a Disneyland dad?
Kids have rules, bedtimes,
Kids have rules, bedtimes, take showers, and do chores. You don't do special, big fun things every weekend, you do them occasionally like most people do. The kids join in with your weekend life and it's not all about them, and they don't get new toys every weekend. But above all, they are parented and not allowed to run wild.
Not really patented but not running WILD either
My SD takes showers daily and the only chore is cleaning up after herself (which I believe is totally appropriate to be the only chore). But... no bedtime, which is a BIG issue for us. Pre-COVID, it was something fun every visit when our normal weekends consist of staying home and relaxing.
Right, shouldn't be big fun
Right, shouldn't be big fun things every visit. I mean, maybe he rides bikes with her, or they go to a pool, or whatever, but not an amusement park every weekend, or a trip, or something expensive. He can spend time with her like he would if she lived with him full-time; play with her, have fun, but not something extravagant, and yes, a reasonable bedtime.
Examples
Lets say dad only gets them once a month:
Kids are jumping on the furniture. Normal dad says cut it out. Disney dad says nothing.
Supper is prepared, kids whine. Normal dad says, then fix yourself a sandwich. Disney dad either says, what sounds good? How about x? y? z? Or says, thats ok, I'll take you out.
Kid misbehaves. Normal dad says cut it out or ( consequences). Disney dad says if you promise you won't do it again, I'll buy you x.
I could go on for days, have heard them all. Lol.
I feel like mine is half
I feel like mine is half Disneyland and half normal dad. He wouldn't allow disrespect to our belongings or me but does cater to her food needs (she is beyondddd picky) and buys her toys, candy, chips, special drinks, gas station trips everyyytime we have her.
And it's not just a day
Its a dad who wants to be seen as the popular, fun parent. Its a whole pholosophy.
A Child-Run Kingdom- where FUN is the main priority
And the kids run the show (decide what we're doing, where we're going, what we're eating). It's like living in Disneyland.
He's a Disney uncle (sorry,
He's a Disney uncle (sorry, but you are not a father when you meet the kid at age 6 and have them a max of 8 days a month). I'm okay with it as long as she stays out of my way. The tablet vortex keeps her quiet, and I don't make special meals or clean up after her.
At the root of every
At the root of every Disneydad is the fear that if they aren't fun dad, no house rules dad, free gifts everyday dad, their kids won't love them and will choose not to visit anymore.
Letting SD17 use his new-ish
Letting SD17 use his new-ish truck whenever she wants and her hitting a curb and ruining his rims.....and getting a scratch on the side of his trick on another occasion.....and he says nothing....not even phased....nada. I think he actually laughed like it was cute.
But our toddler colors on the wall and he is beside himself or I break something in the house......end of the world. Oh and I think I brushed up against the truck once with my purse and he gasped.
disney dad on crack over here.