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OT: had to step in while a mother allowed her 4 yo to continuously assault her 2 yo

step off already's picture

Yesterday was family picture day. When we were through, we waited in the busy lobby to see our proofs. One mom was sitting with an employee reviewing her proofs when her two year old started screaming. She didn't flinch

The two year old was strapped into an umbrella stroller and the olderbrogher was bugging him. The 2 year old kept crying and the older child literally started banging his hands against the 2 year old's face. The mother didn't move even as the two year old's screams escalated. People in the lobby looked at each other. No one did anything.

I sent my kids to the candy store and the video game store so they wouldn't have to wait in the uncomfortable (and loud) lobby. DH walked outside into the mall with the baby. Just to clarify, I have 5 kids.

Before it was my turn to view proofs I saw tr older boy hit, punch, scratch and poke the little brother's eyes. It was awful to watch and no one said a thing. All I could think of is what must be happening at home for this 4 year old to be so aggressive. And the mom never once corrected or Intervened. The screaming started to become background noise.

I got called and ended up standing right near the mom and boys. The oldest boy started again, hitti g, scratching and punching the baby. I leaned down and told the boy not tO hi thr. I tapped the mother on the shoulder and said something like "excuse me ma'am but your son seems to desalt be hurting your younger son".

She looks at me (I'm dressed nice for family pics) and looks at my empty stroller then says "I'm sure you're the perfect mom and have no problems to deal with"

I said "no, it's just difficult for me and everyone I hear to watch your child being hurt." she stormed out. Pissed.

I could tell she was frazzled and upset but come on lady do you see the big picture. You are picking out pictures of your two boys smili and hugging each other yet meanwhile, your baby is screaming in agony about what your oldest is doing and you are impelled ignoring it. So you can order your pictures.

And clearly his is not an isolated in incident, based on her reply.

If those were my kids, I'd have left. If my child is screaming, I leave. Forget about if I have one child beating up the other (which doesn't happen).

What does this woman think she is teaching? What kind of message does this send?

I was horrified. I'm still upset that I didn't speak up sooner and wonder if I could have approached her in a more disarming way, but sheesh!

Comments

MamaDuck's picture

Yuck. I hate situations like that! I seriously think parenting classes need to be mandatory for sooo many people! Gah.

step off already's picture

Clearly she was a bm but whether she was "our type of BM" I'm not sure. It was like she wanted these pictures of her two perfect, happy boys but was boldly ignoring the GIANT problem that she had.

I kept thinking that dad (or boyfriend) MUST be beating imthe 4 year old for him to be so crazily attacking the helpless little brother.

step off already's picture

Like!

Elizabeth's picture

Good for you! I had this happen in my own family.

My niece has two kids. The oldest, a girl, is 3, and mommy's favorite. By far. Mom literally ignores the baby boy (1) and babies the girl. We were all together and baby boy was playing with two cars. Girl 3 decided she wanted to take them away. Baby boy started crying (not loud) and girl 3 yelled in his face. The mom was sitting there watching it and did nothing. So I tapped girl 3 on the shoulder and said, "Don't yell in your brother's face." Girl got all indignant, walked over to mom (who hugged her), turned to me and said "You mean." I said, "If me telling you not to scream in your brother's face after you took his toys is mean, then yes, I am mean." Mom never said a thing to me or girl 3 the whole time. I can't imagine what life is like at home for baby boy if mom allows girl 3 to treat him like that in public.