Let me start by saying that my kids always have a pretty full summer whether it is vacations with me or their dad, visiting relatives, day camp, special classes etc coupled in with some down time. My ex and I will split all registration costs.

Ssstb14 was the kid that sat at home all summer alone or went to his grandma or aunt's. First summer we were together as a family I put ss in all the same (age appropriate) activities that I did for my three bios. I paid for it and I got to hear him complain, watch him pout, etc. I even encouraged dh to try to see if bm would be flexible with some dates so he could attend extra family events. (I've learned since not to bother for several reasons -1 being that she just likes to fight and it's stressful and 2- ss doesn't care anyway.

Last year I just planned things for my three kids. The one thing he wanted to do fell on bm's time so that was that. He does nothing at BMs except play video games and tv.

He came home from church asking if he could attend the teen camp - which dd attended last year and we are already working on details with her father). Ss asked if he could go and since I already knew it conflicted with both his mom's time and his football commitment I told him as much.

Now, I've considered making special arrangements for my dd so she can attend because the camp ends on sat and she is supposed to go on a family trip with her father's family that Saturday. I had considered making the drive up early to get her in Friday so she can attend - which I'm totally willing to take the day off and do for her so she can attend.

I am not, however, willing to make that sacrifice for SS, even if his football doesn't end up conflicting. I'm not going to even put it out there as an option. Not willing to foot the entire bill, not willing to ask bm to adjust a schedule and certainly not picking him up early to make his visit with bm.

Sorry. Just the way it is.