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A letter to my Dad

snowdrop's picture

Submitted by snowdrop on Sun, 06/16/2013 - 12:13pm

Dear Dad,

Happy Father's day.

I always felt like a burden to you. I felt like you resented me, truth is, I'm sure you did. At best, I felt like a distant relative.

I always needed you, even now I still need you. I wish you had been there for me.

I wish I wasn't feeling so sad and hollow today. I wish I could celebrate you. I wish you made me feel more loved and special growing up.

Comments

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Sun, 06/16/2013 - 12:30pm

(((HUGS))) I'm sorry.

Have you ever considered seeking counseling? This guy has been a pos, but you're not and have never been. You're a strong person. Talking to someone who can teach you productive coping strategies and help you improve your life can be so wonderful.

snowdrop's picture

Submitted by snowdrop on Sun, 06/16/2013 - 2:23pm

thanks Anon your blogs and posts always speak to me. I've had years of therapy, I think it's time to go back though Smile crazy how holidays bring crap up. Crazy thing is that watching my DH parent (and being so loved by him) has been really healing for me. I see how fathers can/ should be and I feel unconditional love from him... ya know?

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Sun, 06/16/2013 - 1:15pm

Aww snowdrop!! You're not alone with that letter on some level, emotional or physical. Thanks for sharing that & maybe writing that for a lot of us too. Make today about your current family Smile

snowdrop's picture

Submitted by snowdrop on Sun, 06/16/2013 - 2:24pm

will do! I've let me feelings about the past ruin so many holidays, not today! I'm celebrating my awesome DH.

Shook's picture

Submitted by Shook on Sun, 06/16/2013 - 1:40pm

GrowUp, you're a lucky woman. You dodged a huge bullet there. He deserved his conviction. You deserved a great StepDad & your mom for taking you away from your creep bio dad & marrying a good one Smile

stepmonster_2011's picture

Submitted by stepmonster_2011 on Sun, 06/16/2013 - 1:41pm

Snowdrop -

you and me both sister! My father chose not to have us in his life. When he did it was made to be such a big freakin' deal that we were GUESTS. Years later, I realized that his way of parenting did not suit my needs. When it became apparent that our relationship was truly me chasing after him. I stopped. I've given myself the gift of no longer worrying about someone who never cared about me.

That was 4.5 years ago. It isn't always easy and father's day sucks big rocks, but overall I am much happier with who I am without him (and his wife) in my life.

I'm giving you permission to let him go.

hugs!