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Irritations

shielded2009's picture

I'm irritated...nothing major...but enough to take to pen...

So we went to a Christmas party today. It was a lot of fun. When we got home, DH told me he'd made plans with MIL to go shopping for SD. He said he'd take DS with him so I could get some rest...I REALLY appreciated that...Previously, he told me that he and his mom were going to divide and conquer on SD's Christmas list. She didn't have much on the list, and DH and I already planned to get what she wanted. I told DH that I didn't think it was a great idea to divide and conquer because SD wouldn't really have any gifts if they were going off of her list. He said okay...But now they're dividing and conquering...Whatever. They are splitting a 3 or 4 item list...Before we got SD's list, we had already gotten her a few things. I told him to let MIL get everything off of her list because SD wouldn't have NEAR the amount of gifts DS is getting or let us get her list and SHE get her more items...DH said that she was going to have to understand that she has 2 homes just like he and I had to learn growing up in the same situation...etc..etc...I get that...I support that, but he hasn't factored in MIL and SIL's and their sideways comments...

Nor has he factored in or dealt with the fact that his side of the family are EXTREMELY self centered...They don't do anything for anybody, but always have their radar up to see what they can get for themselves. This extends not only to SD, but DS, too...I told DH that he has JUST as many people on his side of the family as I do...He has JUST as much of an opportunity to foster the relationships with his friends as I do (and I REALLY do!), but he doesn't...So as DS is still getting gifts in the mail, dropped off, etc...We're getting CRICKETS from DH's side of the family...But they're THE MAIN people talking chit about ME. Talking about how wrong I am for not doing the EXACT same things for SD as I do for DS...(That will NEVER happen...not even a point of discussion...DS lives with us...I gave birth to DS...I can FREELY raise and discipline DS, and for ME there is a difference...).

And even worse, DH has told me a few conversations that he's had with MIL regarding me...SD...DS...etc., and it's OBVIOUS she's trying to pump him for information or slip in little comments here and there, but he's a man, and they go RIGHT over her head...I finally told him, "Look dude...You're mom is pumping you for information and trying to put a bug in your ear regarding what she wants, and either you go deaf to it, or don't tell me about it, cause I can't deal..." DH prides himself with keeping his mom and sister out of his business, but again...He's a man...So now that it's come out how she and SIL feel about me, I've been really cool on them...Not hating them, but I'd rather pick lint from between my toes than be around them...MIL lays it on THICK, too...I mean sometimes I honestly doubt what I know to be true...She literally shrieks and hugs me and tells me how much she misses and loves me...*vomits* I don't buy it anymore...Misses me? Lady you live 10 minutes away...

When everything fell out with MIL and SIL, I told DH that I didn't want to deal with them for a while...I told him that I didn't want to see or hear from them for about a month...Then after that, I wouldn't be all that cool with them...I told him that I didn't mind them coming over, but I sure as hell wasn't going to be having "girl time" with them...I made that very clear...

So DH is pissed off at me because when MIL came over, I was literally in my bra and underwear sitting on the toilet with DH in the bathroom with me. He damn near wanted me to JUMP UP and go say hi to his mom...Nope...Not to mention I didn't even hear her ring the door bell so I didn't know she was even in the house...Apparently they were in a slight hurry, and he scooped up DS and tells me that I could at LEAST come out and say hi before they left...Mind you I'm still sitting on the can...I tell him to give me 5 or 10 minutes to get myself together...He huffs and walks out...I get up and start getting myself decent, and I call him on the phone to see if he had DS's diaper bag...I figured he was gone the way he literally ran out of here...He was still in the house...and he came into the bedroom where I was to complain again about the fact that I WOULDN'T come out and say hi to MIL...It's not like I WOULDN'T...It's more like I have no get up and go...no urgency to see her...Plain and simple...*shrugs*

But my thing is this...I've told him REPEATEDLY that he needed to school his mom and SIL on how MUCH I've put up with and have dealt with over the years with him...Stuff that he admits that he couldn't have done without me...They think he's FOTY, and are CONSTANTLY telling him how much of a great father he is because of the stuff I've literally trained him on through blood, sweat and tears...and they talk about me like I'm chit...SOOOOO if it's okay for you not to be honest with your mom and do something I've asked you to do, and defend me, then I'mma sit my azz on the toilet until my legs go numb and come out when I'm good and damn ready...

I've been pissed off times 2!