The stupid game ends today. I called out DH's kid.
DH's kid (d15) has one chore. Just one (with the expected pick up after yourself and keep your room reasonably clean). Wash the dishes before we get home from work. That's it.
Now, we've lived in this house for 5 years and I have never rearrange the kitchen or dining area in that time. Last night I'm making a salad for dinner and can't find the cutting board. It wasn't where it's supposed to be. I finally find it and I'm irked. Not mad, just annoyed because this happens all of the time.
So I take the cutting board out to the living-room where his kid is watching a movie and ask her to pause it. I then asked her if she knew where this (cutting board) belongs in the kitchen. She smiles and says yes I do! It goes by the toaster!
I said DH's kid, your dad is in the shower and I'm going to explain this to you MY WAY.
Your a smart, smart kid and you know damn good and well where everything belongs in the kitchen. We've been here 5 years and I've never once rearranged anything. You know by now where things go and I'm NOT going to put up with you playing these bullshit stupid games any more. You have ONE chore and I will not tolerate you f**king it up so your Dad will get pissed at you and tell you not to do it any more. If you continue this idiotic bullshit with me, I will pack your ass up and you can spend the rest of the f**king summer with your mother. Now, going forward, you will do the dishes and you will do them well. You will use soap and HOT water. You will dry and PUT AWAY anything that will not fit in the dish drain. And you will put everything back in where it belongs. If you don't honestly know where it goes, then you will leave it on the counter and we will show you where it goes when we get home from work. Is that clear? Do you understand that you are done playing stupid with me. You're smart but you've made the mistake of assuming I'm dumb for the last time. I will no longer accept the following excuses from you "I didn't know where it goes." and "I forgot."
I could tell by the look on her face that I completely nailed the situation. And she now knows the gig is up. I didn't yell at her but I was very emphatic about how things will roll going forward. She pulls this game every time she's asked to do something around the house. I usually refuse her help because she expects me to pay her for her help. Uhhhhhhhh....no.
But because she usually gets "walking around money" from DH, he wants he to do something to earn it. The down side, she purposely does a half-assed job and he still gives her the money.
I expected her to treat me like crap the rest of the evening, but she was actually quite pleasant and did an excellent job on the dishes.
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Comments
BRAVO! SHe needed an old
BRAVO! SHe needed an old fashioned, traditional parenting KICK IN THE KEISTER!
If only the modern day free ranging, "discipline equals abuse" crowd could pull their collective heads out of their dark and unsanitary places!!!
Thank you! DH lets things
Thank you! DH lets things slid and it makes me crazy. To me it's just teaching her a bad life lesson, one that can get carried into her school life and later into a job. I think she needs to learn now, do it right and do it well.
Funny thing about her running
Funny thing about her running to Uberskank.....
Based on the things that she tells us about her home life, it's pretty clear that DH's kid spends a lot of time raising her little sisters (8 & 9, not DH's bios). She talks about the meals she cooks, having to clean up, trying to teach her sisters how to fold laundry so she doesn't have to do it all, etc. We get the impression that DH's kid is pretty much raising her sisters. She also shares a room with them, so she literally has no privacy at home.
Making her time with us invaluable. She has her own room. We recently bought a lap-top and moved the desk-top into her room. She has a lot of down time and for the most part no huge responsibility in our home.
Like I said, she's a smart kid. Complaining to Uberskank about me would turn her one chore with us, into 1,000 chores if she went home.
That's pretty much what I
That's pretty much what I tell DH's kid when he asks her to help us out. Things like you get to eat, or you get a bed to sleep in, you know the TV you love so much....you get to watch it.
My mother would have smacked me in the mouth if I asked for money after being told to help out around the house.
I never once got paid for
I never once got paid for chores, I never even ever thought of asking for money for them. They were just my part of taking care of our home, I had chores starting at 7, little things like picking up stuff on the floor in the living room. I think chores are good and they teach children to respect there home and there belongings. My daughter will have chores and she won't be paid, she may get stars and some kind of reward if she gets enough stars but it will be like choosing dinner(that I will make not take out) not money.