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Long distance marriage counseling.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Fri, 03/07/2014 - 12:08pm

Wondering how this is going to go. I'll find out next Friday.

I agreed to conference call counseling with H. First appointment is next Friday.

It will be interesting to say the least.

Will the counselor be unbiased to the situation? Or will she lean towards my charming, but dickheaded H because he's there and I'm here. Will she look at this as him abandoning his family OR will she see it as me being stubborn for staying back?

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Yosemite's picture

Submitted by Yosemite on Fri, 03/07/2014 - 12:21pm

I would hope her professional training would help her to remain unbiased or at the very least not to show it if she has one!
I am so glad that you are going to counseling and I hope you get what you need from it! I hope you don't mind but I'll be praying for you and your family.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Fri, 03/07/2014 - 12:38pm

I've thought of this to and one of the things I specified is no pre-appointments with her or discuss anything except the logistics with her. And I plan on that being my first question "What has H told you so far?" She'll have to answer me.

According to H, all she knows is that he's there and I'm here. Or so he's said.

Then again, considering his track record in the last 18 months.......I could be wrong.

farting_glitter's picture

Submitted by farting_glitter on Fri, 03/07/2014 - 1:27pm

I often wonder too what would happen if DH and I went to counseling.... Sad

I wish you all the luck!

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Fri, 03/07/2014 - 2:10pm

Yes it was........and I suspect because he suggested it because he feels his actions were justified and the counselor will back him up.

He's in for a rude awakening.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Fri, 03/07/2014 - 2:09pm

Thank you Mairin.

I don't believe it will. I'm doing it only because I want to feel I did everything I could for this relationship.

A lot depends on H and his willingness to change the dynamics of our marriage.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Fri, 03/07/2014 - 2:21pm

I honestly don't know. Based on past behavior, I'd say no.

However, he said he wants to save our marriage. I explained it's on his shoulders because he's the one who was not completely honest, made decisions either without telling me or despite my heavy opposition and has once again turned into a Guilty Daddy and is throwing money at skid again to make it all better. I told him "You abandoned me, you made a life decision I did not agree to, you're the one that has to change things or it's not going to work."

I said I was willing to move forward and not dredge up the past, but HE destroyed my trust in him and HE has to work to earn it back.

That's a tall order for anyone and again, I'm not 100% sure he's willing to work for it.