waa, waa, waa
Warning: the contents below contains extreme whining and complaining.
So, he brings to the table a psycho ex-wife, one decent son, one complete little sh** son, the emotional baggage that comes with 12 years of marriage to the psycho, the financial ruin that comes with 12 years of marriage to the psycho and an upcoming legal battle to try to get custody of the decent son.
I bring to table no bio kids, two former step-daughters who are pleasant and helpful when they are here (which is fairly often), an ex-husband who we literally never have to deal with, a nice house, a nice car and the income and perks of a 20+ year stable career.
It's not that he's terrible about it all the time and he does work hard but a little recognition of the discrepancy here and a little more appreciation would sure be nice sometimes...
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Comments
He will be requesting
He will be requesting custody of only one child? Will that cause the not so well behaved one to act out even more?
Have you discussed with him the inequities in the relationship? He should be recognizing your contributions to the household/family. Appreciation can go a long long way.
He doesn't want to come...
The one we have the trouble with (15) doesn't want to come with us, the younger one (12) has asked us to get him out of his mom’s as soon as we can. At her house the older one does whatever he wants with the only consequence being a screaming yelling argument a couple of times a week... he just flunked his first year of high school and she bought him a car. It's not a good situation but given how hard it is for a father to get custody we figured the chances would be almost zero if the kid is fighting it too. Oddly enough it's the younger one who recognizes that it's not necessarily good to get away with whatever you want.
It's a bad habit I have... when I'm most frustrated I don't bring it up because the overall household frustration level is high and that's not the best time to discuss things, then when things calm down I don't think about it as much and don't get around to bring it up. Entirely my own fault I haven't addressed it with him. The "problem child" went back to his mom's today so I vow to do it this week.
I'm glad to see you'll be
I'm glad to see you'll be speaking with him about it! Remember the rules of fighting nice, use I statements, do not use "always" and "never"...hopefully the conversation will bring about change that will let peace be a part of your household- good luck!
Do I sense resentment?
Been there.
Hard to shake that feeling.
Hard to whine to him when he has so much going on.
My advice. A nice bottle of merlot.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley