This sick feeling I get in my gut................it's because there is the "other woman" in our lives.
This is what bothers me the most. I never dated a man with kids before, much less, got engaged to one! I never had to worry about the "other woman" being involved with my life. (except their mothers, of course!) This "other woman" gets to request favors, make demands, and make decisions that affect my daily life.
I have the "other woman" to deal with everyday with no end in sight. It truly saddens me. And the worst thing of all - is SHE knows this. SHE relishes this fact. FH is the only man in her life that can and will do pretty much whatever she wants. Don't get me wrong - FH has gotten WAY better with telling her "no", but when it comes to the kids (which she uses to get her way) - he is mush. I LOVE how involved my FH is with his kids. It's one of the reasons why I fell in love with him. It's adorable to watch this big strong man with his two little girls.
BUT for the past two days, because BM can't afford cable TV (that would take away some of her precious bar money) FH has been in pretty much constant contact with her because of school closings and delays. Today the skids are on a two hour delay and because BM "says" she has to go to work, she is bringing the girls here this morning. FH is on his way to a Dr. appointment and I will be on the road getting MY daughter to school, so that means that BM will drop the girls off while I am gone. FH just called to tell me this. I got PISSED. This is NOT our day to have the skids and I had planned to go to the store immediately after dropping my daughter off, but now I will have to hurry back home because the girls will be home alone until I get here. (about 15 minutes) I just wish I had been consulted, ya know?
And another thing that makes me mad? WHY should BM get cable TV? FH has become her own personal weather man. She doesn't need to watch for bad weather, school closings, or delays - she has my FH for this. We figure BM spends approximately $80.00 per week in the bar (spending $20.00 per night - we're lowballing that amount) and that's plenty of money for cable TV. It's not just the cable TV issue - it's the fact that BM is in a bar WAY too much, spending money she doesn't have, and therefore we HAVE to pick up the slack moneywise besides $800.00 per month CS. When the skids come here and they need money THAT day for school - we can't say no. SD8 couldn't complete a project at school because BM couldn't send in a STAMP. A stamp for pete's sake. And SD8 never told us about this until it was too late. And the letter the teacher sent home went to BM's and was never seen again. A freakin' stamp!
Oh well, I have to go now and get my daughter to school and hurry back and I just pray that "the other woman" is gone from my driveway before I get back. Our driveway is quite snowy/icy and I just may "accidentally" run her over.
Also, just to refresh your memory, the last time BM dropped the girls off early because she had to work, we found her in a bar a couple hours later.
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Comments
I don't know the full in
I don't know the full in house story but to respond to just what you wrote , I feel the ONLY thing DH should be paying for as a Dad of kids , his Obligations would be a set amount agreed by the 2 Bio parents after separation or what ever courts decide ( if court was involved ) But cable TV is not something of a responsibility , Food , clothing , and shelter is ..
As for the sudden drop off of his girls - last minute ! a couple things about that , If the two of you have an original agreement about your involvement with his skids than call him on it , second if its never been discussed and your uncomfortable with whats or how its going , then you need to voice it ASAP or it will only continue and get & feel worse for you the longer you keep quiet ..
No one can fix what they don't know is a problem !
Can I just say that I got
Can I just say that I got quite the chuckle from the icy driveway part of your blog....
Can I just check something -
Can I just check something - you say SD8 is going to be in the house alone for about 15 minutes - so does this mean that BM has a key to your home??? That is not OK in my book, plus I think that 8 is too young to be left alone like that, what if you had a prang in your car or something on your way back? You don't have parental responsibility for her, so either BM or your DH should be waiting with her, plus you should be asked if you mind watching her!
House will be unlocked and
House will be unlocked and the girls are 8 and 10 and the neighbors are very good friends and just across the driveway and the girls can go over there if they want to. That's where they catch the bus.
And another thing, I just informed FH (who HAD plans to play cards tonight) that I will NOT be home tonight and so he will have to wait for BM to get here before he can go play cards. I have planned a night out with my girlfriends. I will not be at the mercy of these people.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
good observation storm , I
good observation storm , I had to reread that and I caught that after you mentioned it , I would NEVER let an Ex have access to my HOME and if your the type who leaves your doors unlocked , Start Locking them . . .
Rusty I know how you feel.
Rusty I know how you feel. It sucks really, and I don't really know where the blame lies. Perhaps on both FH and BM?
I could never understand why if BM was the to leave FH after an affair did we have to "give her time" to adjust. That was always her thing.
Stand your ground. You are noone's personal sitter. If the snow is bad then obviously it is dangerous for you to drive as well. Think of the safety of yourself and of your children first.
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!!
I'm going to leave it on the kitchen table tonight! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Well, I have 3 "other women"
Well, I have 3 "other women" to deal with. Psycho lesbian BM, SD15 who thinks she is DH's wife (yeah, it's sickening) and SD12, with whom I get along with. But...they all flipped when DH and I married at the end of 2008 and they ALL LOVE to have complete control over him. So, they obviously hate that he remarried. haha...
Anyway, I hate it...I hate BM and SD15. They are evil and practically the same person aka Satan, only SD15 isn't gay. At least I don't think she is. At least SD12 is a good kid...a little angel, really. I don't know how she even came out of nasty BM. She's NOTHING like her.
Love :?
**Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!**
hey loveovelove, I am sooo
hey loveovelove, I am sooo glad I am not the only one with a psycho lesbian BM to deal with.. do you get embarressed by it? I feel like I am judged for being with him because his ex is a lesbian.. and when we go to functions like school, etc, that involve SD8, I feel like they are looking at me funny because I married the guy with the lesbo ex wife. She even still has his last name.. Drives me crazy!
Tiger, I hate that BM still
Tiger,
I hate that BM still has DH's last name...ugh. It makes me sick. She wanted to keep it because it's SD 12 and 15's last name. So they are all still a happy little "DH's last name" family. :sick:
I kept my own last name when we got married because of it...lol. I don't want to have the same last name as her or her kids...even if it is DH's. No thank you. I actually love going to school/sports events, etc. because I am like Supermodel-Barbie compared to nasty BM and I am 10 years younger. I love how people are so shocked when they see me and look at her like, "How could he have ever been married to such a troll?!!"
It's the little things that make you smile and think, "hehe, I won!!"
Love
**Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!**
I too think I am much nicer
I too think I am much nicer looking than BM..she stays in her flannel pjs all day and smokes like a friggin freight train.. I am a few years younger 100 pounds lighter and must say he traded up... but i still feel inferior to her because people know her and not me .. she lives about 30 minutes away, so when we go to SD events, I am a no body.
You are never a nobody!
You are never a nobody! Everyone knows BM in our town...and I hate it. They see her as some basketball hero and the SD's as her little basketball stars. Makes me want to puke! But...I have DH and she doesn't and I am SO much better than her in every way. DH swore up and down that he would never get married again after the nightmare he went through with her. 6 years later, you can imagine the shock when he meets me and we get engaged within 2 1/2 months and married within 5 1/2 months. His friends, family, BM and the SD's were absolutely shocked that someone knocked him on his ass enough to get married again. But they look at me compared to her and they are like, oh yeah...SERIOUSLY, MAJOR upgrade.
That is what everyone sees...so I am okay with it. It's taken me a year and a half to realize it, but I am much more at ease with the whole situation now. I just walk in with DH, proud and pretty and let people just stare. I don't care anymore though, because I KNOW I am better. I am a better wife, a better person, a better lover...all of it. Like I said, she is just a troll.
**Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!**
p.s. We do not have cable,
p.s. We do not have cable, but we can still see the weather reports, on local channels. We got one of the boxes during the TV conversion earlier this year and get a great signal on about 8-10 stations, including all the major networks.
So if BM is saying she doesn't know the weather, that is a big fat lie! Also ALL radio stations announce weather and school closings every few minutes on those days - DUR!!
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"The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself." -
Will Rogers