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Stephell never ends - I have NOW, officially seen it all!

round2's picture

I don't post often but do read on here regularly and gain great ideas from everyone here.

I went to a funeral today of the FIL of a co-worker. It is a little odd, but he is a great guy and thought a lot of his wife's father, so I went to show my respects.

The first part of the service was fine - several people got up to speak, they had obviously been asked in advance and had prepared a few words to say about the deceased. Funny stories, touching stories, testaments to his faith, etc...you get the idea.

Here is who spoke...best friend of the deceased, bio-son of the deceased, step-son of the deceased, and a grandchild.

They all finish and the Pastor gets up to do his part. Here is where it gets interesting!

An older lady jumps up from the second row and says..."I know I wasn't scheduled to speak but I have a few words I would like to say.: The poor pastor was so surprised he just sat down and she took the podium.

First words out of her mouth are "I am the ex-wife. We had a loving marriage until he found a new family"

It was shocking - we all sat there with our mouths hanging open! The deceased had been married to his current wife for 32 YEARS!!! I have no idea the circumstances surrounding the divorce, but I doubt a funeral was the right place to air dirty laundry. The worst part was that she did not speak about the deceased at all; she only spoke about their three kids and the grandkids. It was like she didn't think they got enough 'air time' when people were talking.

I sat there thinking about this site and the crap we all put up with from the ex-wives and bratty kids and just kept thinking it doesn't ever end, even when our DH's die.

My co-worker will be back in the office later this week - I cannot wait to get the rest of the story. if it is juicy, I will update this blog!

Comments

Teas83's picture

Wow. That is crazy.

Thoughts of what would happen if my husband died have crossed my mind. His ex-girlfriend would make my life hell, I'm sure of that. I know she'd come after me for money, but I hadn't considered if she'd try to come to his funeral.

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

THIS!

furkidsforme's picture

I might have had to bust out the phone cam on this one....

AWKWARD!!!! I hope the SKids gave her hell for that performance.

ChiefGrownup's picture

I'd be cautious in the sympathy department. How many of us have been accused by BM or skids of breaking up a marriage that was signed, sealed, and delivered to the divorce vaults long before we even met our spouses? The fact she would interrupt a funeral in progress and break the rule of not speaking ill of the dead makes her viewpoint of the facts extremely suspicious in my eyes. Not a trustworthy person.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Was her name Linda Kasem Naylor by any chance? Jeez.

Please do update here.

ItHasGottenBetter's picture

Sounds like something my BM would do. Even though she kicked DSO out for another man, she always forgets that part.

Jsmom's picture

After 32 years and she is still holding that kind of resentment, OMG. What the hell do we have to look forward to with our DH's. I could see my SD doing something at my husbands funeral. But, I have been widowed and saw my IL's behave terribly toward me. We were married for 12 years and they took all the cards from the funeral telling the director, that I was just his wife, they were his family. I forgave them, but it was a long time.

IslandGal's picture

Lord! That is absolutely horrifying!! If I was the current wife, I would've sent a couple of men over to "escort" her right out of there. Then I'd apologise to everyone for having to hear her crap. Geez, that's truly, truly awful.

Biomomof2's picture

My dad died 6 years ago. He was engaged. My mother hadn't talked to him for 8 years. Little back story they had been married 3 times to each other. 1st my brother was born, 2nd time I was created. 3rd time I found my dad at 16. I had not seen him since I was 2. Mom moved him in that night. Yes seriously, WTF??
Anyway. They hadn't even spoken for 8 yrs. my brother and I sat in the front row of course. At the time I was really emotional. Didn't even think of it, but later I realized. My mom sat next to my brother. His fiancé sat in the back. I hadn't ever met her as my dad lived in Texas and I lived in CA. I felt horrible, I called his fiancé to apologize and she yelled at me that the service was horrible. How date I have the service before his ashes were ready. Sorry lady, my dad died. I was only given 12 years with him because my mom is a borderline umbrella of messed up. I planned my very first funeral half way across the country, did the best I could. I just lost my dad and I thought it was beautiful and laid back just like my dad. Needless to say, I never apologized and have never spoke to the woman again.
But yeh, my own mother is proof it never stops!!!! She told one of my dad's friends that was there (mom moved back to CA after I did and didn't even knowthese people) that she couldn't believe she was a widow. Hmmmmm you have been divorced for 10 years haven't seen or spoken to him in 8 yrs. your NOT a widow.

sixteensmom's picture

My sons would have tackled BM to the ground if she dared step into the church. I'm certain when DH dies BM will attempt something as foul. This reminds me to make sure there's a directive in his will that under no circumstance is she to be allowed into the church. We just had a dear friend pass who was going through a divorce. 18 months in, he had a new gf and was within weeks of the decree being signed. he moved with his gf across country to a beautiful place 3 months ago. he died from a sudden heart attack last saturday. At the funeral this week the almost ex wife sobbed and howled with all the family around her The poor gf was 20ft away from the line, with his mother. I'm so glad his mom was with gf. Sheis a lovely girl and had absolutely nothing to do with the marriage break up. she's listed as a 'special friend' after the 'wife' and kids.

I think my dh obit will read something like.... DH was born x/x/xx... went to college here, worked there... Is survived by his wife and best friend sixteensmom and children DD, DS, DS (mine not his but he calls them his lol) grandchildren x,y,z. He is also presumed to be survived by three children from a previous relationship.

Gracefulsilver's picture

Sounds like BM of SD here.  BM has been remarried for almost 10 years to the guy she has an affair with on my SO.  She still calls demanding him to give her money, buy her food, ot do any meial task need done around the house (SD lives with SO).  He refused for a long time then had to block her completely.  I don't understand why these women believe they have any right to dictacte anything of the man.  Apparently entitlement and selfishness is morw common than I had believed