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Completely O/T...what type of wedding did you and DH have?

round2's picture

Please don't tell me not to do it! I am already madly in love and he keeps his kid on a short leash.

So...we cannot decide how/where or what type of wedding that we want. We are not arguing aboutit, it's just that nothing appeals to both of us.

Destination wedding is out, my parents are too old to travel and I want them there if it is going to include the kids. I want to elope but FDH doesn't want to. SD8 thinks she is going to be a flower girl - umm, no.

We have to find a compromise between a big wedding and just kids and parents. If I go that far then I want a few select friends to attend and then it grows.

What did you do that worked for your blended family?

Thanks!

Comments

BSgoinon's picture

We had a small backyard wedding at our home. Just family and close friends. My uncle smoked ribs and chicken all day and we had my other uncle DJ. It was really a lot of fun. Nice and intimate. And it turned out beautiful.

StickAFork's picture

We kept our guest list small <100. Close friends and family. We included his kids and mine. At the last minute, his kids told him it would "hurt their mom too much" to be IN the wedding (they were teens) so they wore color matching clothes and participated in the peripheral events.
Outdoor wedding with a beautiful view, indoor, catered reception. We didn't do booze for personal reasons. Music/dancing was only about an hour.

We made it a point to inculde all of the "step" kids because we recognized it as blending FAMILIES, not just joining two individuals. Matter of fact, my SD from my first marriage was also in the wedding. My DH accepts she's a part of my life.

I have no regrets when it comes to our wedding. I was originally REALLY upset at my skids, especially because they bowed out AFTER the tux/bridesmaid dress had been sized and paid for, but... whatever. I had to let that go. Their mother has them *convinced* that DH left her for me, so they felt like they were betraying her by participating. Grrr. Don't like that woman. At all. Not really a fan of her kids, either. Smile

dreadingit's picture

We got married at the courthouse on a Wednesday morning. Our parents were the only ones that attended, and after that was done, we hopped a plane to Mexico.
It was totally drama/heartache free, and we spent the money on our trip.
A couple of weeks after we got back we had a big outdoor party that all of our family & friends attended.
I wouldn't change a thing about how we did it. Those days that we had all to ourselves are my happy place when things get shitty!

Unfreakingreal's picture

My 2 older boys were groomsmen, my youngest, held the rings. My SS was DHs Best Man. My niece was the flower girl. SD was supposed to also be a flower girl but BM coincidentally purchased a flight to Puerto Rico precisely the day before our wedding. She actually bought SS a ticket too, but he refused to go with her.
It was a family & friends event and although we are still writing out checks for that wedding (3 years later), I wouldn't change a thing. It was everything I hoped for & more. Well...maybe I'd change ONE thing, I'd uninvite all the in-laws. I hate them all.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Yeah^^^^^ Me too...If I had to do it over, I'd do it on an island where a flight was required. That would eliminate all the riff raff from DHs family.

c-mom's picture

They would always find a way. Mine was on an Island and not even the attendants knew where. They were only told to be at the landing at 3 and then the captain of the charter said, "Come on, let's get you where you are going." LOL BM's mom weasled her way to the reception because she never could find out where the ceremony was, and then took pictures and went straight to BM and DH's mom with them and before our wedding night was over BM was already calling everybody we all know screaming in the phone about what a f'ing a'hole DH was for wearing a "suit" for me when he wouldn't wear one for her (he was wearing a tux actually) and DH's mom was calling everybody, hysterical about how I wouldn't let him invite her when in fact I asked him three times to please invite her and he wouldn't.

c-mom's picture

Why can't SD be a flower girl? My SD-13 was my "flower girl" even though I didn't have any flowers. She was just basically one of the girls, looked like a mini me by matching me. It was really cute. Don't marry him until you are ready to accept her. That is so unfair to her. She was there first and didn't make the CHOICE to be there like you did. Why are women so damn spiteful to their partner's children? I understand not being ready to cuddle them every night after they continue to do hurtful and manipulative things to you, but honestly, take the diaper off, pull up the big girl panties, and think. How would it really hurt you for her to be a flower girl or somehow involved in the event that is going to change her life forever? We had a VERY small personal wedding. And it was the biggest disaster wedding ever but turned out beautifully. (Except for me being in a hideous dress because my original was stolen two days before the wedding. HAHA) What I would suggest to every bride no matter the situation is go simple. You, FDH, a dress, a tux, a couple attendants, parents, children, and get away for a few days to a week. If I could go back and do it all over, that is how I would have done it. All of the stress of trying to plan a big, planned to a T wedding only distracted me from what I really wanted to focus on and enjoy. Him and I. We spoke to each other ONCE, yes once, at the reception because we were too busy trying to entertain. I would have rather had the whole day to ourselves. And he agreed. He (nor I) even entertained the idea of his children not being there, I mean they are our lives, but afterward we realized yes our entire lives are about them and they are involved, but our wedding was supposed to be about us celebrating our love and commitment to each other and the best way to do that would have been to be alone. I'm not saying to elope, but I wouldn't hesitate to go back now and do exactly that. LOL Whatever you decide to do, please don't marry him until you have accepted his children as much as you accepted a single dad. And that you obviously have not.

round2's picture

Holy cow lady - take a chill pill. Are you my FDH's ex or something? I am not having any flower girls - I have 2 daughters of my own and they aren't going to be flower girls either.

Did you read the post? I want to elope, why would I want to go so far as to have designated flower girls.

Go away

nothinforya's picture

We went to the local Salvation Army chapel and had the Lieutenant there marry us. Just the three of us were present. A month later, we had a small reception at the Chinese buffet in our town. It had a nice separate room with a crystal chandelier, and I put out some flower arrrangements on the tables, and we had a small cake. All of it was just exactly as we wanted it, nothing done to please anyone but ourselves.

New second wife-step-mom's picture

We had a church wedding with all of our kids involved. We invited just close friends and close family (about 100 people) and had a great time!

Potluck dinner with us providing the meat. Cake, flowers, the traditional dress, photographer everything. Good times!

I wouldn't change anything!

P.S. I bought alot of things off Craigslist and garage sales to save on the cost. We had family that helped make alot of the decorations and flowers. Everyone pitched in and it was a lot of fun (and cheaper).

round2's picture

Thanks everyone! Great ideas - I will show this to my sweetie and maybe we can finally decide what we want to do!

B22S22's picture

We took of to Vegas for the week and got married in one of the beautiful hotels there (outside near the Fountains)

I had a dress made (short, not long) and my DH wore dress pants and a dress shirt (no tie).

We had planned on it being just the two of us (he has 2 kids, I have 2 kids) but since his parents didn't see him get married the first time (quick courthouse wedding) they surprised us by flying out there -- they contacted the wedding coordinator and had it set up so she had to go "looking" for witnesses to sign our marriage license. When she brought it back to us, I glanced at the signatures and started crying!

We had a beautiful week in Las Vegas, seeing the sights, eating at really nice restaurants, gambling, etc.

twopines's picture

We were married at a beautiful bed and breakfast. It was only family and close friends. All my family came in from out of state, so they stayed at the B&B. That was perfect for logistics. My DD was the flower girl. Skids were not there.

NoDramaMama's picture

We are getting married in a couple of weeks, Vegas Style baby! We're gonna do the ceremony at Treasure Island and then have a buffet afterwards as a "reception." My guest list is ~50, mainly family, and a few of my friends. No bridal parties. All the nieces are going to be flower girls (a total of 5). I have no color themes, so whatever dresses the flower girls want to wear is fine by me. They are having a lot of fun picking out their dresses and shoes. I'm trying to keep it simple yet nice.

imjustthemaid's picture

We went to a casino and got married. (not vegas) It was great. Just me, DH and our parents. We had the ceremony then went to a fancy dinner, had a wedding cake, gambled all night and stayed in a beautiful suite. No kids, no drama!! Then we went to St. Thomas for our honeymoon a couple of months later. I wouldn't change it for the world.

We were going to have a big wedding. Then SD called MIL and asked her to order her a white mini wedding dress! Hell no! It was more money than my dress. I had to put a stop to it and that is why no kids were there. MIL was pissed!! If you really want to laugh, my ex husbands first wife watched our kids that night!!