Wondering what SD15 is up to...
She doesn't do anything nice for us anymore unless she wants something. Today, she brought home me a gift and left it on the kitchen table. Didn't say a word to me about it or leave a note with it or anything...I asked her about it at dinner and she said it was "just because." Really? I'm not buying it. I can't wait to hear what she wants in return...I'm sure it'll come up right before she goes to bed tonight...and now we wait.
- redheaded_stepmom's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
My SS gave me a gift like
My SS gave me a gift like this once. I had disengaged from my relationship with SS at the time and was barely on speaking terms with him. SS was trying to rebuild his fractured relationship with DH, but I didn't want any part of it at the time. Right around thanksgiving time, SS gave me a pair of pearl drop earrings. He handed the box to me awkwardly and said he didn't know who else to give them to. I took them and said thank you. I took the earrings home and added them to my jewelry box with no intention of wearing the cheap things.
After a few months, I noticed that SS was still serious about fixing his relationship with DH. I also noticed that SS wanted to fix his relationship with me. I think giving me that gift was his way of saying I'm sorry without having to actually speak those words.
Is is possible that your SD might finally be starting to realize how much hurt she has caused you and she wants to apologize and doesn't know how?
I've just started doing that
I've just started doing that -- buying small things they don't ask me for or expect, buying it just because I wanted to. It makes me feel good and gives me hope that maybe we can have peace and respect for eachother (SM & Skids). Of course I do this for DD weekly & her little doggie and reap so much happiness I thought I'd try it w/skids.
Me, too. I used to go out
Me, too. I used to go out and buy things for SD that I thought she would like to have and all I ever got for it was a superficial thank you and then a lie and and eye roll. I still get little things for her every now and then that she won't bother to ask for, but I know she wants them, but the fact that she doesn't really appreciate it drives me nuts. I wish I could just turn off the part of me that gives a damn, but I can't. I love the girl with all my heart, but she is really making it hard for me to like her very much lately.
I guess there is a
I guess there is a possibility that she had an epiphany and decided to make an apologetic gesture, but it's really hard for me to genuinely believe that. We had another one of our famous heart to hearts tonight. Talked about a lot of the things that have been going on with her recently. I'm glad we had that talk, and I hope it did her some good, but now I find myself waiting for the bottom to fall out and her make yet another HUGE mistake that gets her in trouble...that seems to be the cycle...she screws up, we have some awkward silent days, we have a heart to heart, she screws up...I hope I am wrong this time.
It depends on How many times
It depends on
How many times you've forgiven and turned the other cheek. Are you dizzy from turning yet? If not.....maybe it's worth another try. She is 15 and maybe there is an opportunity to make things better. Maybe she misses the little extras that you gave her.
I have forgiven her for
I have forgiven her for things and turned the other cheek so many times over the past 6 years that I have lost count. There have been issues with SD since the first time I had to take care of her by myself because DH was deployed. It is getting harder and harder for me to turn the other cheek and move forward with her. I know she is just a teenager, and teenagers make a lot of mistakes...I mean, really, that's part of the teenage life, to make mistakes...but what bothers me so much is that she keeps making mistakes and never learns from them. I want her to learn from the mistakes she is making and take that knowledge forward with her throughout her life. I just can't figure out how to get her to do that. Every time I think I've figured that out, she proves me wrong.