OMG! I could just scream!
I just LOVE how SD15 can't be bothered to lift a finger to help me for 3 weeks while DH is gone for work and I am sick as a dog taking care of the house and the kids by myself. I made DH aware of this while he was gone, hoping he would have a chat with her when he got back...HAHA!! What was I thinking?! Not only did he not say a word to her about it, but today, I apparently gave SD15 the "dirtiest look DH has ever seen" and he "gets on to me" about it in front of SD15. I apologize to SD15, but I really didn't mean to give her any kind of look. If anything I gave her a look because of the fact that she didn't do shit to help me the whole time DH was away, but today, since DH is there and asked her to, she and DH help me bring in groceries...WTH? So I guess I shot a look at her that came off as "dirty" but was really a WTH! look. Jeez! As always, I am the one that is wrong and SD15 is the poor, innocent, sweetheart that gets shit on for no reason. Whatever...
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i dont think your dh should
i dont think your dh should of got onto you in front of sd. that's not presenting a 'united front', especially after you asked him to ask sd to help you and he chooses not to. I probably would of said 'well before I apologize, maybe you could ask her to help me around here!'
The best part of disengaging
The best part of disengaging is that when they need something from you, you simply do not provide it. My favorite line has been: "If you think living here is some sort of cafeteria plan, you better plan on empty tray."
Um, your DH jumped on you
Um, your DH jumped on you about a 'dirty look' in front of SD? Thats treating you like you're another chid in the house, in my opinion.
Did you mention anything to your DH about the lack of help during the three weeks, or was it not mentioned until afterwards? I can see how three weeks straight can give you lots of time to build up resentment over it. The bulk of disciplining should be on the bio parent, but I don't see why a step can't ask a child to do something and expect that it be done. That may have saved a lot of stress.
I told DH while he was gone
I told DH while he was gone that I was not getting any help and then we talked about it again after he got home. Nothing has been said to SD by DH about any of it. I'm to the point of not asking SD for any help with anything or even accepting help when she does bother to offer anymore, because no matter which way it goes, she acts like she is put out with me for making her help or accepting her offer to help. I have told her before not to offer if she doesn't really mean it...I think she just wants the recognition for offering so she can tell DH, "I offered!" Whatever! It made me feel like I was being treated like a child and I did NOT appreciate it. I couldn't believe he did that in front of SD. When I looked at her to apologize for my supposed look, she had this huge smile on her face like, "HAHA! I got you in trouble!" I am to the point of despising the little brat, but I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that is how I feel. As far as I am concerned, she is part of this family and she lives in this house, she should be expected to help out when needed and not be allowed to have an attitude about it.
I don't like the sounds of
I don't like the sounds of this. Your DH ignores your requests to have a 15 yo help around the house, which is normal and customary and then reprimands you in front of her for a supposed face? I guess he put you in your place! What he was really saying is how dare you have expectations or criticize princess. We can't make her work, she won't want to stay at daddy's anymore.
PS I would scream. I'd ream those two a new one.
I couldn't believe what I was
I couldn't believe what I was hearing, especially since it was in front of SD. I get so frustrated because one minute DH is ranting to me about how he is fed up with SD15 and her crappy behavior lately, and the next minute he is biting my head off for something I didn't even know I did. And to top it all off, SD knows she has DH wrapped around her little finger and all she has to do is whine and complain about me and turn on the waterworks and DH is putty in her hands. Drives me insane!
Wow I would probably go
Wow I would probably go apeshit if my DH tried this - I am so sorry honey!
I gave him a little piece of
I gave him a little piece of my mind about what happened, but I am holding back for now. I don't like to say too much in the heat of the moment...I tend to blurt out things I don't really mean when I do that. For now, I am trying to avoid looking in SD's direction and for DH, sex is off the table for a while because I have completely lost any interest with him.