JUMP!

So I have decided to just go for it.
More interest in interacting with my ss8 that is.
I want to be an important person in my ss8 life like he is in mine. I am not his mom and I don’t ever want to replace her. I just want to be a person he cares for. I want him to know I care for him and he can always talk to me if he needs to.
I just need to ‘jump in’ if I am going to ‘adapt’ and be the person I want to be. I am a creature of habit and routine so it may be hard but I know it will be worth it.
Usually on Saturdays I work, make breakfast, lunch and he spends the time in his room playing the wii or watching Netflix (kids section only). (Side note – I wasn’t very happy when my guy allowed his son to have Netflix on his wii or the fact he has a tv in the bedroom at all but whatever). When his dad gets home we usually make dinner and run errands or to the hardware store – our house is an ongoing project! I want to start getting comfortable with doing stuff with his son by myself, not rely on my guy to there as a clutch for me.
So – I was thinking about doing a Memorial Day craft with him (thank you pinterest). I remember how excited he was when we did turkeys a couple thanks giving’s ago he always asks if we’re going to put them out when fall runs around. So I intend to get my work done as fast as I can Saturday and we can go to the craft store and get the stuff afterwards. Although this plan may be modified if he has baseball practice, in that case his relative will stop by, pick him up and drop him off (I have to work at the same time practice usually is). But this craft will happen! We will bond dang it!
Wish me luck!

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Good Luck!!!

thanks! it turns out he has a

thanks! it turns out he has a baseball tournament this weekend, so i am hoping i can make this idea work. if nothing else i will make this a family thing (me, guy and son) on Sunday and we will have fun, smiles are mandatory!! haha

Good luck!!!

thanks! fingers crossed it

thanks! fingers crossed it doesn't turn out to be a horror story or, realistically, me ending up in my room in a pissy mood not understanding this kid.

Good for you! Your SS is very

Good for you! Your SS is very lucky to have you as his Mom. I am in the same boat. I feel the burden of being a step parent (my SS who lives with us cried on My day-Mother's Day because he wanted to be with his BM- to just name one instance), but I also think there is a reason behind me being his step mom and not birth mom, and there is a lesson for both of us in this. Stay on that positive path and you will learn as much from him as he does from you. <3

Thanks It is hard to be a

Thanks

It is hard to be a motherly figure without being a mom or 'the' mom, especially when you can get / have been rejected. I remember I used to call my ss babe, or kid (just like i would any kid) and in the middle of blockbuster he asked why i called him that when i wasn't his mom and it was weird. i acted like it didn't bother me, but it kinda took me back. that made me start questioning things i was doing, 'am i crossing a line? is this too motherly??. That's when i really started disengaging with him. But i think i drifted too far and now i just want to have some sort of relationship with him.

i used to creep me out when ever people think he's mine, like waiters at restaurants or people at stores, i hear 'is that ok with you mom.' i don't say anything cuz its not worth the 'oh, sorry' from them but now i just smile and go along with it. now even he doesn't say anything to correct them. He surprised me once by telling me he understood why they would think i was his mom and it was ok.
its ok when they think hes mine when hes being good, but when hes being a butt i just want to wave a flag that says ''i'm a step mom, dont look at me like that.'' lol

maybe kids just have a hard time adapting and understanding they can have two female figures in their life and its hard for us to tell them that. its hard to tell them it is ok to love both or at least care about us too.

they say women are a mystery - but i think its really the kids that are a mystery lol

I am touched by this story.

I am touched by this story. In a way I think this is actually the saddest scenario, when you have a genuinely lovely child, put so much love and effort into the relationship and achieve so much, then have it taken away. At least you and your DH always know you did your best. Kids can be very black and white about things and selfish anyway during teens and early 20's. I wonder if she will rethink things as she gets older, especially if she has her own children. I'm from an intact home but I never really appreciated how much my parents did for me and how much they loved me until I had my own. I am closer with them now than ever.

that's crazy and i feel for

that's crazy and i feel for you. how painful it must have been for you guys, one day everything good and the next day ya'll arent talking. i hope she realizes quick that ya'll need to be in her life and are important people that shouldn't be taken for granted.

honestly i want to give my best effort with my ss - then if it turns crappy i can honestly say i tried and my guy will have to understand. i try to be honest about how i feel and think about everything and for the most part he tries to understand. he's always been supportive and notices when i make efforts. we are a team and will work together - so if his son wants to be a butt and i have tried my best, we will to do the best we can. we wont let his son ruin our relationship, i am an important person in my guys life (visa versa) and he wont let our relationship turn to crap from it. although i wont put my guy in the middle, but he understand this is his son and he has to take control of some situations. i hope it doesn't come to that, but with so many different factor going on, its no telling.

all we can do is our best and hope the kid turns out ok right? (without kicking us on the way up of coarse)

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