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I have a question b/c It could go either way and not sure which way...ss15 and DS17 cars

purpledaisies's picture

Ok I posted that my ds had an accident as a result he didn't want to drive the car he had, understandably. so he saved up some money and traded his car in. He got a 95 mustang his choice. I did not buy it he did. Of course it is in my name but he paid for it.

Now when we went 'shopping' ss15 was with us and he saw the mustang but didn't seem interested til ds decided he would that car. Then ss15 got mad and said he bought it out from under him. Now we did NOT do 'shopping' for a car for him it was for ds as ss15 mom is the one that has been 'shopping' for ss15. We never told ss15 that we would look for him too it was all about ds and he knew why too. Or ds would not have been looking for another car.

I also posted about ss15 wanting a corvett and we did not think that was a good idea and the reasons why.

So today yuckapotomas called to say that ss15 got a mustang, dh asked how he got it and she said she would talk to him later.

Now a part of me feels that he only got that car b/c ds got one and he felt jealous. However my son and ss15 get along very well so it could be that he looks up to my son. So that is my question do you think ss15 is jealous or he looks up to my son??

Now as I have said before I don't have a problem with my skids just normal kid stuff.

however I was talking to my dh about it and told him that if he is jealous it needs to be addressed and let ss15 know that dad is still his dad and there for him and I was very concerned for ss but then dh brought up the fact that they get along so well and they are so opposite. So it is possible that ss15 looks up to him instead of being jealous.

Does any of this make sense??? And which is it jealousy or admire? I only ask b/c I don't want ss15 to feel like he is has to compete with my son.

Comments

stormabruin's picture

Any kid would be jealous of another getting a new car. It's a natural thing, in my opinion. Why does it need to be addressed to determine whether it's jealousy or admiration? Your son has his car. SS has his car. Life goes on.

I don't see any reason for it to be picked apart.

purpledaisies's picture

I didn't see it as picking apart but as that I didn't want ss15 to feel that he has to compete with ds to get to dh. I just wanted know that ss15 was ok? what is wrong with that???

So just b/c I am concerned for my ss and his feelings that i am wrong? Oh that's right classic sm assumption I got it. Wink

stormabruin's picture

I was just stating my take on it. I never suggested that concern for his feelings was wrong...just that jealousy is normal. I wouldn't jump to assume that him being jealous of your son getting a new car would mean SS feels he has to compete to get to your DH. I would figure if there's competition, it's about the car. Not your DH.

I don't know the kid. I was simply stating my thoughts.

Lauren1438's picture

It may be a bit of both to be honest. But if someone at school made a comment about mustangs being better he may have gotten jealous that your son got one.

But who in there right mind would BUY a 15 year old a mustang. Does BM realize that they are DEATH traps. Trust me, my parents are fatal crash investigators for the State Police. Mustangs+65mph= twisted metal and a coffin. I have seen car crashes my entire life, photos/reports/and in person on ride alongs. honestly trucks are the better way to go when someone is learning how to drive, the survival rate is a hell of a lot higher.

But I would try to address it, maybe in a way about making up own decisions, or being your own person he might not take it to well if he is called jealous.

ctnmom's picture

When my two older ones were at home/teens they shared a 91 Honda that I swear, can't go above 60 MPH! LOL!

purpledaisies's picture

snickersgirl I see your point but I honestly think ds has been taught a very valuable lesson and he has been so much more cautious. I would have tried to talk him out of it if I thought he wasn't ready.

lauren you are right it is probably both. I think i might go your route as I don't want ss15 to get or do things just b/c someone else is. He needs to be his own person and I can also see this as a normal thing that all people go through when someone else gets something.

I guess I was just very concerned for him and didn't want him to feel like ds is getting attention from dh that he should get too. It was more of how ss15 was seeing his dad more than anything is what I was concerned with. even though son bought it himself just well sometimes kids don't see things the same and need a little reassurance and perspective is all.