Ok, so here's the funny story about princess.

A few weeks ago my husband stayed home from the clinic on a Monday. Usually that is a late night for both of us and neither of us would be at home. I had been encouraging my husband to take a day off for a few weeks. Finally, he did.

I don't remember all he did, but they were a combination of piddly work things around the house that were in relaxing and felt good to do, and some out and out down time. Mid afternoon, the tone of his texts to me changed. Previous to that we were just texting I'm doing this or that, here's what's going on at the clinic, etc. Then his texts felt constrained, tense. Not through his words, but by the way they felt when I read them. He began wanting me home in a more than normal way, there was an undertone to it and I found myself wondering if he was ok, what was going on within him.

A few hours later he sent me a text saying princess had just been there.

I had made it clear to princess when she rented an apartment on her grandmother's dime at the end of January that her move out of here was permanent. She had left the room in the basement a red hot mess and then tried to manipulate her brother, pee, into cleaning it up for her. I told her I wasn't having it, that I myself would clean it. So I did. My husband put a brand new bag in the vacum cleaner and by the time he was done vacuming her room it was chock full. What a pig.

I carefully boxed up every single little thing that was not outright garbage, like fast food remnants, empty perfume boxes, etc. But everything else, including lingere that dumb girl should never have had here and that she blatantly left on the floor to advertise her sexual activity in my home that she wanted for some weird reason us to know had occurred after the fact. I boxed it all up and put it into the storage room knowing sometime she would want those things.

My husband was sweeping out the garage or something when he had the sort of discombobulating experience you have when you see something you recognize but it's out of context and you have to really work to incorporate it into your brain. It was princess's stupid monster truck barrelling up the road, slowing to make the turn into our driveway and then crunching over the gravel.

princess emerged from her stupid monster truck along with a vapid college boy, and pee. My husband, the previous evening, had put in four hours of driving time to get pee to some friend's house pee wanted to hang out with for a few days. Turns out that while princess regularly psychologically sets pee up to resent his father by dangling at the last minute on a Friday afternoon the high holy honor of spending the weekend at her college pad and we can't accommodate because we're at work or don't want to accommodate because we are absolutely fried from our week ans she just doesn't have the gas money to get him herself even though she's the one who invited him,
that princess somehow happened to have money to fuel her stupid monster truck enough to drive to pee's friend's remote location and then to my dumb hillbilly house. She and pee are in close contact, I guess, because she was banking on neither of us being her.

She wanted to root through my home unbeknownst to us to retrieve her belongings. This girl is so stupid. A phone call indicating that she wanted to get her things, could we please have them ready for her might have helped her achieve the end result of her dumb monster truck being filled with her boxes of stuff when she left my home.

Nope, not princess's agenda. She didn't think we would be home. She didn't have the emotional or psychological balls to do her special ops mission with her Guido zombie college friend unless she had pee with her. She never thinks of him as a person. She only thinks of any other human being in terms of their immediate usefulness to her or lack thereof. So she had been in contact with pee and she practically fucking air lifted him out of his time at his friend's house to accompany her on her special ops mission to raid our home. How selfish can one person be? pee has done a lot to try to build a life here, have friends. She thought nothing of the fact that his dad, her dad for Christ's sake, had driven hours to get him there just the previous day. No, General Princess had a special ops mission and needed him as a mindless soldier who still trusts the Machivalian mindfucker dictator.

princess has not set foot (that I know of) onto my property since she manipulated enough money out of her grandmother to fund not only college but now an apartment. Blessed relief. It took months to occur, but pee finally asked princess's permission to move into her former room in the basement. I laughed in an angry way, because that is not hers to grant. But, you see, he's still under her hold. She must have been feeling magnanamous, because she granted him the privilege. He didn't know the price tag, which was when she wanted, months later, to claim she had been kicked out, that his moving into that room would another piece of evidence in her arsenol to back up that 'fact.'

She was rude to my husband. She said she was here to 'get her stuff.' Gotta hand it to my husband. He said No. He said, if you want to get your things, you can call ahead to arrange that. She bitched and then whined, Why can't I just look in this closet, or look here? No. You can call ahead to make arrangements to get your things. She walked around our home, I guess, checking things out. She peed in the toilet and left the lids up, bizarre, ok. She helped herself to juice from the fridge. These things were done to make the point that she felt entitled to show him disrespect.

A few weeks earlier she had gone into his old house, which we are STILL cleaning and trying to ready for the market, and taken his vacum cleaner. A very nice and expensive vacum cleaner that we need to use to, well, vacum the carpets as the rooms are emptied and repaired from the damages that occur within a home over twenty years. He demanded she return it. "But then I won't have a vacum cleaner!" I'm telling you, she's myopic.

Turns out later in a subsequent phone conversation he had to have with her she told him she believes I threw her things away. All her childhood momentos she abandoned when she moved out. She does not know me at all. To do so would have been twisted and cruel. She couldn't incorporate into her special ops mission mentality that indeed, every last one I carefully packed into sturdy boxes. She wanted to have the experience of going through my home and them not being here and she wanted pee to witness it. She is like an alien to me, I can clinically undersand her actions and what lies behind them. I cannot on some level understand her willingness, her ability to perpetrate upon others. Every single item is packed with care. Minus the $650.00 bridesmaid dress she did abandon. I've claimed that and I will wear it myself, she is so dumb she doesn't know its worth because if she did she would have sold it to a second hand store. Just as she did with the beautiful antique pieces of gold and diamond jewelry that were willed to her after a great aunt's death. princess is so dumb at her core. So very damned dumb.

So she's holding the vacum as ransom for her things. She doesn't understand there's no such thing as doing so because we don't live her malicious intents or her paranoia.

She had to go into her former room, which is now pee's. She had to know what pee's former room is being used for now. A playroom for my children.

Guess I may not have really conveyed the humor in all this. You can't make the devil appear before your eyes if it doesn't exist. I think she felt humiliated in front of her zombie guido college guy and pee said to my husband when she was out of earshot that he did not she had not called ahead to get her things. princess told pee she did not have enough gas money to get him back to the friend's house she had hijacked him from. She fucked up the rest of his two or three day planned stay at his friends.

I have a few other princess stories, too, ha ha.