Call it what you like, step kids, ex partners, life, jobs, what the fuck ever, it doesn't really matter. It truly is all the same.

And it is true, in its own way, don't ever believe things could be worse, because your belief will come true. As they do, as they always do. There is no difference really between heaven and hell. They are the same place. Freedom comes from existing without either of them.

The Zombies "The Time of the Season" is the song by the Zombies after my wedding song to my husband came up, which is, "Hung up on A Dream." I am listening to these, and I don't listen to music anymore, I don't write anymore. I am right now, though. (mmmhmmmm).

And we were. We were.

I never imagined life could be such a real true house of horrors. I can tell some funny tales about this.
The real horror of life has nothing to do with step children, wives, husbands, girlfiends, boyfriends, in laws or much else.
What it has to do with is what you fear. Whatever it is you are most afraid of is what will happen to you. Not with you, not beside you, not before you or after you. To you. Here and now.
It's been months since I've written, monthes since I've listened to any music. But now, "Some Unholy War."
That is what my life is.
An acecdote: princess presented she needed a new place to live. A total of four days before her holy event. The role in anyone remotely connected to her had only to do with this true and holy humane lover of animals. She needed a place to keep her pussies. Why she would look to live in a place that did not allow pussies I don't know. My husband refused big dumb louie. But he took spice.
Spice is an old pussie cat, a true blue garbage feeder. The cat shows up miraculously when there is any scrap of food about.
My husband by my side, pretending to sleep as I take this venture I have not for months now.
. My angst right now is that I do not believe I will continue to do what I do.
If you can imagine thunderbolts hitting you hard for four years, but your having consititution to withsand a lots
The things that have happened within the last few months, or more accurately, for the last four years, have made me reach for limits of human endurance I've never known, never imagined.
I had to go to my nurse practioner and ask for a prescription for anit-depressants.
I'm beginning to understand the magic I weaved. I approached everything fronn a persp;ective of fear or appreciciation and understanding of beauty and my understanding of it all had nothing at all to do with what would come from my own thoughts, my own knowledge, what they would call intuiition or knowing.

What you think is what will be. It is as simple as that.