They are gone

My Dh and Ss left three hours ago. Last night my Dh told me he thinks he is making the biggest mistake of his life sending Ss there. I comforted him saying that if we ever need to, we can always bring Ss back home. But at least we can't say we didn't try.

They left this morning and Ss looked excited, which just made everything infinitely worse. He even hugged me back when I hugged him goodbye. My kids went to my mother's yesterday just in case a scene occurred.

After they left, it was an overwhelming sense of relief. But that only lasted a few minutes. I was bawling my eyes out for the past 2 hours. I feel really sad. And when I think about how he is going to feel when he realizes we lied about the trip? My heart just breaks. He is going to hate our guts. I thought I got all my crying out of the way earlier in the week. But it feels just as bad. I feel terrible for my Dh. He must be feeling so much sadder

I really really hope Ss accepts the help. Or all we get out of this experience is an angrier child who hates us even more than he did before.

praying's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

Thanks ripley. I have been

Thanks ripley. I have been crying for hours now. Thank goodness I can work from home. I really hope this was a good decision.

Praying...I am aching for

Praying...I am aching for your entire family. Your intentions are good. Your heart is pure and you want to help this boy put the pieces back together. You have tried everything and now it's time to let the professionals do what they do. If it backfires well... you'll deal with that when the time comes. In the meantime, know that you want to help him, know that you hurt for him, know that you really are coming from a good place and know that yes, the Universe will pick up on that and make it happen. Please keep us posted. Sending you a very tight, heartfelt hug.

Thanks for the hug. I truly

Thanks for the hug. I truly hope it works out. But you are right, I should not think about the bad outcome before it even happens.

You and your DH only have his

You and your DH only have his best interest at heart. He needs real help. He needs to do this and you are doing the right thing for him. Don't think of it as anything but fighting FOR him every step of the way. Your and your husbands love for him is so obvious and I just pray he will see soon that you did this because of that love.

I'm praying for you all as

I'm praying for you all as well. You might go read Mir at wouldashoulda.com. She is currently going through a very similar hell with her beautiful daughter. She had some really wise words the other day...she told her daugher "I love you enough to let you hate me right now." That's got to be one of the most horrible, heart wrenching things that we have to do as parents. You and your husband have to fight for ss right now, because he can't fight for himself. Hang in there. You're in my thoughts & prayers!

That is a great quote. I hope

That is a great quote. I hope that article is not too sad. I used to be on a support site for parents of abused children. But it was too much for me. Thanks for the prayers.

The first visit is going to

The first visit is going to be rough. If its anything like last time, it will be just be Ss pleading to take us home. The thought of him not wanting to see us would kill Dh. I hope it dosent come to that.

And the letter idea was great. I plan to approach that with my Dh after things settle down. Thanks SMiFC. I'm glad you are back.

Praying, you are strong

Praying, you are strong enough to bear this pain. You are strong enough for him to hate you for a while. You are strong enough to cry.

I understand how you, as a good person, feels about decieving the boy. However he will be with professionals who can help him in the long term than you ever can in the short term.

If it helps, write in the journal every day and one day give it to him.

Someone had the idea of

Someone had the idea of writing a letter and giving it to him when he is older (was it you?). I plan on doing it with my Dh.

I keep trying to tell myself it is for Ss's own good that we are doing this. But it doesn't hurt any less

Thanks oneoffour.

Ugh, I am so sorry. You are

Ugh, I am so sorry. You are doing the right thing. And you are so strong for doing so. The easy thing to do would to ignore his issues, and let him continue to sink. Sometimes the best plan is the most difficult one.

I will continue to pray for you and your family. I can't imagine what you are going through. Such a trooper.

Thanks for the prayers and

Thanks for the prayers and support guys. I don't know what I would have done without you all. I have been crying all morning. Seeing your comforting words really helped. I hope with all my heart Ss gets better. And I hope my Dh can get through this weekend. It must be killing him

((HUGS)) You're doing the right thing and hopefully in time he will see that too.

Comments

Thanks ripley. I have been

Praying...I am aching for

Thanks for the hug. I truly

You and your DH only have his

I'm praying for you all as

That is a great quote. I hope

The first visit is going to

Praying, you are strong

Someone had the idea of

Ugh, I am so sorry. You are

Thanks for the prayers and

My thoughts & prayers are

Try to remember, it is in his

Something I tell my DH all

You are here

They are gone

Comments