DH's laziness won after all- update to yesterdays birthday blog
Here's yesterdays blog -
http://www.steptalk.org/node/66832
Well, I shouldn't have worried. His laziness won yet again. He never went out to buy any presents..... Never even made it so far as checking the bank account to see how much money he had. All he did was pick her up a cake on the way home from getting the kids at daycare.
I really hope she learned something from all this. But I really doubt that she will. I'm sure everyone will be hearing about her evil stepmother who refused to let her have a birthday. Never will it cross her (or anyones) mind that she is to blame due to her behavior, and Dh could have stepped up at any time and chose not to.
My mother is coming to visit on Friday, so I am sure it will come up, and ill have to justify my decision. And SD is going to visit with smil this weekend (even tho my mom is here, Dh is letting her go) so I am certain she will be crying a sob story over there too and end up with even more gifts. Nevermind she already got so much from the inlaws alone, that she's gotten more than BS got total (since the only person who bought for BS was me, and one gift from my dad)..... Not to even include what she got from the aunts and uncles. So she made out like a bandit whether she got anything from me or not. But she will play the abused stepchild card to the fullest.
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Comments
I hate to be so negative, but
I hate to be so negative, but she probably won't. I think its great how you handled it and stuck to your decision. I can't figure out why people have this idea that you are supposed to go all out for a skid bday. I do the bare minimum. I give one gift- with a financial limit- an a card. I leave it in their room. I just think you did exactly the right thing. With your Dh too. He needed a lesson here too about your limits.
As far as explaining myself to people? My friends and family have been put in their place on this topic. I'd tell my mom that her opinion is HER opinion and I am ready to change the subject. I won't be discussing it again. The poor SD routine only feeds a spoiled brat. That brat isn't your responsibility.
Well, good. As long as you
Well, good. As long as you didn't go out and buy her stuff, you are good.
Funny, when I stopped doing this something a bit similar happened. When DH got his kid, he did NOT buy her a present for her bday. He had NO MONEY. He told her that he would get her something another time as he had NO MONEY. What happened? We went to my mother's house and sure as shi#$%, skid tells my mom how "she didn't get a present from her dad because he had no money". Funny, she got presents from everyone else, well, except me of course. My MOM got on my case and so did my sister. I looked at the like they were from mars. Of course, my reply? "My son ALSO did NOT get a present from his father for his birthday because his father pays so much in CS that he has no money left to buy him a birthday present, heck, he can't even pay for his milk...so the only present my son got was from ME. So really, why are you so upset that the skid did not get a present from her dad because he had no money? She got a present from her mom, I'm sure...and even from all of you. My son got a present just from me and NONE from my skid's BMs family or even my DHs family...so deal with it."
Sometimes you really have to tell people to mind their own business or really give them the information that will make them realize how ridiculous they are being.
Why don't you just tell SD
Why don't you just tell SD the truth? You didn't buy presents, but you didn't stop her dad from buying them?
I told her twice, the night
I told her twice, the night of the original incident.....
That what her father did was up to him, but that "I" wasn't buying her any gifts.
And
Your father is free to get you as many gifts as he wants, but don't expect a single one from me.
But I am sure that point was completely lost on her.
and its not your problem to
and its not your problem to make her understand. You just don't have to be taken advantage of.
But she will play the abused
But she will play the abused stepchild card to the fullest.
^^^^^^^^^^^^no doubt
but you told dh it was up to him to buy this kid her gifts. if she's going to treat you hatefully then she isn't getting presents from you.
makes perfect sense.
^^^^EXACTLY...this is what i
^^^^EXACTLY...this is what i was trying to say. but i didn't get much sleep last night!
thanks newwife for saying it so well