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BM stop playing games

peanut11's picture

Submitted by peanut11 on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 7:51am

So SS brings winter stuff back and forth between his moms and our place. We have him half the time and this is just the easiest thing to do. Well BM did not get her way about something and I guess in a power play packed up thin mittens for SS instead of his usual gloves. (Its cold his hand would have frozen wearing the mittens). When getting ready this morning for school DH notices the mittens and gets angry for the way BM was acting. He called expecting BM to meet them at the bus stop with the gloves. I FOUND ANOTHER PAIR OF WARMER GLOVES FOR HIM TO WEAR. I told him that he did not need to call her. Now were fighting because he thinks that he cant call her if something is going wrong. Thats not the case I just did not want her to get that power of BM to the rescue. She already tries to brainwash SS into thinking he cant function with out her why would we try to confirm that by getting BM to show up with the gloves when there was another equally as good solution.

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windee's picture

Submitted by windee on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 8:00am

Maybe your DH can call her and let her know that you already had some warmer gloves for SS, but she needs to bring SS gloves the next time and quit acting like a little spoiled brat that didn't get her way.

duct_tape's picture

Submitted by duct_tape on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 8:49am

This woman (BM) apparently figured out a way to manipulate and ruffle his feathers him long ago. And it still works. That's probably why they're not together. If you really want his "reactions" to stop, it goes deeper than winter clothes. It's going to be everything. When there is absolutely no conflict going on, it may be worth mentioning to him what you've observed. Maybe exaggerate a time when he avoided falling into her trap. Like, "I noticed so-and-so tried to piss you off about whatever. Man, you didn't give her the satisfaction at all!"
Guys are pure ego! It's a shame that you have to communicate with them using such ridiculous tactics, but sometimes you do.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 11:18am

This is why we have clothes for our house and she does for her house. Send him home in what she sends him in. No more, no less than the fighting on this stuff can stop for the other more important disagreements with these BM's.