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What to do when dh "assumes" I'll watch sd8

onstrike's picture

Submitted by onstrike on Sat, 12/20/2014 - 9:19pm

I am off until after Christmas and have plans to take my son shopping for last minute stuff on Monday. Dh let's me know he is planning on working a half day. He doesn't know I was going to do some shopping early,but I'm thinking because he has sd8 on Monday,he is assuming I will watch her. I don't want to. He didn't ask,he just makes plans to go to work while she is here. I don't want to bring her shopping with us,she is so whiny. I don't want to shop later that day,because it will be a madhouse at the mall. I am pissed because I KNOW dh is assuming I will accommodate him. He doesn't ask what my plans are. He just informs me of his. I don't want to be difficult,but I have so so much catching up to do. How would you ladies handle this? Sometimes dh helps me with bs10,but it is planned WELL in advance. I ask him,I never assume.

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hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Sat, 12/20/2014 - 10:10pm

I would ask him, that since he is working half a day, what are his plans for his daughter? Make it clear that you are not watching her.

He is going to try and guilt you into it, whether you ask about it now or wait until Monday and try to leave the house.

Do not let him set this precedent. He should have asked you.

cant win for losin's picture

Submitted by cant win for losin on Sun, 12/21/2014 - 12:06am

Dont assume he's assuming.

"Hey, i have plans on monday. You said you need to work, but you have sd coming over during that time, and since i have plans you need to find a sitter for sd."

dogtac69's picture

Submitted by dogtac69 on Sun, 12/21/2014 - 3:10am

What DH did is unfair, but since it is done, your best bet might be to hire a professional baby-sitter for the morning, and let DH pay for it. Perhaps that will get his attention for the next time this arises. Good Luck.

No saint's picture

Submitted by No saint on Mon, 12/22/2014 - 10:28am

DH used to do that; he would ask me if I wouldn't mind, but always last minute. I was usually ok with it, though sometimes I could use the peace and quiet.
One time SS7's BM refused to watch her own son on a weekend he was supposed to stay with us (we do it all the time, for whatever reason she gives us or just because she "says so"), as we had a small trip scheduled that we couldn't postpone. On that day I told DH that if she refused to make our lives easier, I wouldn't move a straw ever again for her benefit, and that included watching SS7. Since then (almost a year ago), he has only asked me to watch the kid a couple of times, and for really short periods.