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What is your Step New Year's Resolution?

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Sat, 12/30/2006 - 7:56am

Most of us have our own personal resolutions, but do you have any resolutions that relate to step or blended family life? Possibly something to do with the ex or the skids? Maybe something that you personally want to work on within yourself that relates? Or perhaps something that you think could use some work between you and your spouse?

Comments

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Sat, 12/30/2006 - 11:02am

Something that I do that I feel like I need to work on is TALKING to the EX. Me talking to her has almost never ended up with a positive outcome. Yet time after time I allow myself to get sucked into responding to her emails or taking the phone when SS hands it to me. I think everything would be a little easier if I could just get myself to stop responding to her. Granted, there have been times (very few and far between) where she actually had something constructive or important to talk about. However, most of the time it just ends up being another argument. I think things would be better on everyone if I would just STOP! Of course then she sends the emails calling me childish and immature for not responding to her messages...but instead of explaining to her that I'm doing the mature thing by trying to avoid argument and more problems, I'll just have to ignore those too Smile

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Anne 8102's picture

Submitted by Anne 8102 on Sat, 12/30/2006 - 11:43am

To stop taking personally my skids' failure to have a relationship with their father. I'm done trying to bridge the gap between them... if he wants to have a relationship with them and if they want to have a relationship with him, well, then the four of THEM need to make it happen. I'm out of it. I'm tired of feeling used and unappreciated and guilty. I didn't cause this to happen, so I need to stop feeling like it's my fault and trying to fix it. It's up to them.

I also have another resolution to just be a better parent to my own kids. Not that I'm a bad mom, but you know how it is... we all have things we could do a little better and I'm going to try working on my patience (or lack thereof).

~ Anne ~

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Sat, 12/30/2006 - 11:47am

I used to be the most impatient person I knew. But after three years of dealing with BM, I've switched to the most patient person I know! It's amazing how this situation has changed and matured me.

Good luck with your resolution. There's no use in continuing to beat yourself up over something that you can't help. It really stinks that they won't develop a relationship on your own, but I agree that it would be much better for YOU if you removed yourself and stopped placing blame on yourself. Good luck! Hopefully they will come around on their own.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

OldTimer's picture

Submitted by OldTimer on Sat, 12/30/2006 - 3:15pm

Coming into the new year for us will be some major sacrifices that we, my DH and I, will have to make. We are waiting for mediation for SD, and then the hearing with a judge in Feb. So, I guess I need to be more supportive, tolerante, and greatful as this all comes to a head.

Somehow, I think I need to be the 'rock' in this, otherwise, my DH would just throw in the towel. He is really really disgruntled with the court system, rightfully so, since they soooo favor the moms. I just wish that for once, the courts would actually take a long hard look at her life, the situation, what we have to offer, rather than as her 'role'.... that would make such a difference. But we know that won't happen. We're at least hoping for a crumb of the pie...

I don't know, if I think of something, I'll be sure to report back...