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Something Odd...

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Sun, 12/31/2006 - 2:14pm

BM asked BF if we could keep SS next weekend, possibly overnight, because she has plans. After all the horror that she caused not even five days ago over this very subject, I'm perplexed as to why she'd ask us to keep him for an additional overnight the following weekend. Usually she would just have her parents watch SS. I haven't heard so much as a word from her since all the trauma she caused over Christmas visitation. Do you think maybe she's taken the last few days to think about what she did and realize that she went about things completely wrong and that things need to change? Or maybe she's just plotting some new way to get us into trouble? At any rate, to keep us out of more trouble BF told her that he needed a written letter stating that she gave permission for the additional visit with her signature on it.

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OldTimer's picture

Submitted by OldTimer on Sun, 12/31/2006 - 3:06pm

how it seems when something works in their favor, that they 'offer' us 'extra' time?!?? SS's BM used to pull this crap ALLLLLL the time. If it worked in HER favor, fine, it was just dandy... however, if it didn't... welll, to bad for us.

The only issue that I see, which happens with us, is that if you get this "extra" day... she may turn around on an important event that YOU have plans with SS for, and use that 'extra' day as leverage to keep him. She may use it as... Well I LET you have SS on THIS day which favored you and I LOST time with SS. You know, something like that will come out of her mouth when she's mad. Happened all the time with us.

So, what we do is, sure, that's fine, how about switching this day for that day, and get it settled right then and there, in writting... don't "wait and see" what day she wants to switch for. Instead, we took that control away from her by making sure that all bases were covered. If she said, no that's not necessary, then we made sure that was written and signed too, but usually, we found that our BM will go for the switch in days, rather than losing her time. We also only do this if she has given us two weeks notice about it. Anything less affects our schedule/plans, and doesn't give ample time to get things written, sent through registered mail, response time, etc etc...

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Sun, 12/31/2006 - 5:28pm

Honestly I wouldn't put anything past this woman, just judging on past experience with her. However, BF told her flat out when she brought this up that he plans on sticking to the visitation schedule as it's layed out in the parenting plan. He told her to her face that if she tries to pull what she did the other day again, or if she ever threatens to take SS away from him again, that he WILL take her to court and things WILL get ugly. Anything else beyond the parenting plan will be considered extra and will require the letter with signatures, etc.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

OldTimer's picture

Submitted by OldTimer on Sun, 12/31/2006 - 7:57pm

Good. Glad to hear that. One thing I would do is use a calendar and plot down the day you have these 'extra' days on the calendar. Time you picked him up and the day/time he goes back. That way, you log it and you also have a 'log' to keep track of all the 'extra' time you have that was not alloted by the schedule. If it becomes substantial, you may beable to get some time adjusted to accommodate or child support. But we all know that's a differnt story. But this is what happened to us. We were able to physically show that we had alllll this 'extra' time 'on the books' and guess what happened... we got more time, plus the child support was adjusted in our favor. Hmmm.... somethings to happen for a reason, don't they?