Poor Poor SS
On Tuesday DH started with his "kids have been really behaved this week" ...("week" meaning 3 days)
I just nod my head and go about my business. He said it a few more times that night. I ignore him.
>>>SS was "behaving" because he wasn't in school and we hadn't taken him out in public. Also, just last week we found a trash bag full of stolen food in his room. BUT he's behaving.
The next day, he starts on "We need to talk about SS getting his privileges back" I ignore him
Later that same night, he said it again. So, I took the bait.
Me - What privileges does he NOT have. He was at his friend's house when I got home. He was in the pool all weekend. He's watching youtube on the computer with SD right now.
>>>I just want to say here that SS is supposed to be grounded right now. This is what being grounded looks like to DH.
DH - Well he doesn't have his XBox
>>>>The Xbox was paid for my me. It's not "SS's" Xbox
Me - He's not getting that Xbox back until he behaves at school. You do remember him getting kicked out of school after only 20 minutes being there on the last day and you being called to the school twice the day before. Don't you think it's weird that you had to keep leaving the job site and taking dozens of calls about SS's behavior during work and getting laid off not a week later?
DH - Yeah, he can't get the Xbox back right now.
?????????????????
Then last night...After SD kicked SS out of her room.
DH - I feel bad for SS
Me - Why, he was probably bugging the shit out of her
DH - They aren't as close as they used to be.
No duh. One, she's 13. Two, SS is an asshole towards EVERYONE. A person can only put up with that for so long. Every time DH hangs out with SS, he complains about his behavior to me afterwards.
BUT Poor Poor SS.
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Comments
I wish I was grounded! Trash
I wish I was grounded!
Trash bag of stolen food? WTH?
Stolen from our kitchen and
Stolen from our kitchen and it was just the wrappers.
He's not smart enough to
He's not smart enough to throw them away where they won't be found?
I just don't get these kids who steal/hoard food.
My skids used to squirrel
My skids used to squirrel food away...eat entire boxes of fruit snacks and other junk...and then stuff the wrappers under their mattresses. SO weird.
Oh just give the kid back his
Oh just give the kid back his X-box you evil SM }:)
LOL! I want to be grounded too! Sounds like he is having a good time!
Yes Ninji this all sounds
Yes Ninji this all sounds familiar us as step parents get the short end of the stick and are expected agree with and support whatever with our DH's. My DH and me cannot agree on anything so he pretty much told me last night that we need to let SS be himself which means having full reign of my house and getting his way all the time while he sits back and does nothing because he is afraid of BM.
YEEEEESSSSS!!!!! But yet we
YEEEEESSSSS!!!!! But yet we are the bad ones! When in reality we just want what is best for the kid but they don't see it that way they think is because we don't like them
Holly crap !!!!! This sounds
Holly crap !!!!! This sounds just like my husband lmao!!!! And like the kid in school as well always getting called at school failed at reading and writing but guess what he is doing all summer playing the xbox hanging out with friends and on the computer ALL DAY LONG! My question is how long does it take for them to understand!!!!!! Like I swear no common sense what so ever !!!
Common sense is not to common
Yeah that is a good point my
Yeah that is a good point my SS failed the 4th grade but somehow plays xbox as well and has a cell phone to play on and gets to eat and do whatever he wants because daddy say so. God I think the stage of resentment has reared it's ugly head.
At least we can all relate to
At least we can all relate to one another on this!!!
Skids punishment when they
Skids punishment when they used to visit: SO would go and talk to them...privately... Then they would get ice cream!!!!
But like the others said...I want to be grounded too!
My DH tells me what more do
My DH tells me what more do you want from me I talked to SS and hopefully he will grow out of his behavior. LOL really!!!
What MORE do you want from
What MORE do you want from me?
Not more, just something (more implies you are doing something, now). Something besides letting a child rule the roost. Something besides nothing, and just hoping it will all work out. Geez.
What is it with these men
What is it with these men that they think that their kids will "just grow out of it" like it's some kind of phase or something. Dude wake up and get a dose of reality these kids are headed straight to working at Mcdonald's, jail or god know what else. For instance my dad's GF's son is 24 has no job and still lives with my dad. Mommy coddled him and now look at him no ambition, doesn't have a job and won't spread his wings and leave the nest because he never got a dose of what the real world was like because he didn't have consequences when he was a kid. When he turned 18 he got a dose of what the real world is like and then said no way I am going back under mommy's wing so she can coddle me forever. It makes me sick knowing that this idiot is doing this to my father but what can I do absolutely nothing.
SD decided it would be a good
SD decided it would be a good idea to do a load of MY laundry about a year and a half ago. She used bleach instead of laundry detergent.
Her punishment for ruining hundreds of dollars of my clothes...Why, going to the park.
I's be furious.
:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
I's be furious.
I was. BM said I deserved it
I was. BM said I deserved it because I shouldn't be making her children wash my laundry.
???
I NEVER ask Skids to do my laundry. LOL I don't even like DH to wash my cloths.
Yeah was she doing it to
Yeah was she doing it to "help" you do your laundry or do you think it was to be malicious?
I think she was trying to
I think she was trying to help. The only thing is, DH and I had noticed a lot SS's clothes coming back from BM's house with bleach spots. Just ruined. We assumed it was BM doing it because she's a lazy idiot. Nope. It was SD.
We don't keep bleach next to the washer anymore now.
So maybe BM and DH should
So maybe BM and DH should teach her that you only use bleach on whites.
This kind of reminds me of a
This kind of reminds me of a situation with my OSD from before DH and I were even married.
DH's parents have this thing where they take each grandkid on a trip the summer after they turn 13. Kind of cool, I guess.
Anyway, when OSD turned 13, she had a cell phone that was on MY plan. All of DH's kids did...dumb phones that could only call and text...but phones nonetheless. DH was also on my plan, and I was paying for all of it. My Christmas present to DH. We weren't married yet, but it was headed that way, and I had a really good phone plan deal through my employer, so it didn't cost me much to add them at all and we got the "free" phones for adding the lines. Of course, none of the kids knew that it was actually ME who got them the phones for Christmas and not DADDDYYYY...but I really didn't care. It was fun for him to be able to give them this. (Flash forward 9 years and they are all STILL on my phone plan...but that ends at 22 or out of college...)
So, for her trip, OSD was going to England and Ireland. I told DH multiple times - make sure OSD understands that she's allowed to take her phone but she MAY NOT text anyone unless it's a true emergency. Like...she can maybe have 5 texts the entire 10 days. International texting, at the time, cost like .35 each way...that's .70 for a round-trip communication. DH always waved me off. "I know, I know. I've told her." Me: "Like...penalty of losing the phone forever...she is NOT to text. She knows this?" DH: "YES! Quit nagging. She KNOWS! She understands!"
So, I dropped it. Again...DH and I aren't even married and don't have shared finances...and I pay the cell bill in its entirety.
One day into her special trip and...you guessed it. She's texting like a fiend and has racked up several hundred dollars of texting fees. I lost my ever-loving mind on DH. He says: "Ok...OKAY! My parents are calling to check in with me tonight and I'll tell them to take her phone away." Me: "Uh. Too late. I turned it OFF so she can no longer use it. Not willing to wrack up another $300 of fees between now and when you're able to check in with your parents."
DH actually moped about this...about me turning off the phone "with no warning" and told me: "I just feel so sorry for OSD."
Uh huh. He felt sorry for a 13-year-old with a fully paid for trip to Great Britain, because she's not "allowed" to rack up hundreds of dollars a day texting some dumb boyfriend WHILE SHE'S ON THIS TRIP...on a fully paid for phone (poor baby!)...
...but didn't "feel sorry" for me for suddenly having a cell bill that's $250 higher than expected. OK.
It really blew my mind and, looking back, it should have been my first clue to RUN...
Yeah. It was insane. But that
Yeah. It was insane. But that was OSD, and special rules applied to her.
SS borrowed my bike without asking, left it out in front of BM's house, and it got stolen. DH made him mow my yard for the entire summer to make it up to me. YSD wanted something...sometimes she got it, usually not...and a lot of times she was expected to work for it.
OSD wanted anything...everyone better hop to!!! It was enraging, especially as she was the worst. Just a dark rain cloud of negativity all the time.
Another example with OSD. DH's parents took us all to Hawaii for vacation. OSD was sullen and horrible the entire time (while YSD and I were just out on the beach, hiking, seeing sea turtles...having a marvelous time.) Even though we were in a suite with two rooms and SS was in a suite with his grandparents...OSD refused to share the second room with YSD and, instead, made herself up a pallet on the balcony, where she got bitten up with mosquito bites.
DH's response? "Why did I let my darling baby girl sleep out on the balcony?!?!?! I should have spoken up and told my parents this was unacceptable! I should have stood up for my daughter!!!!"
I tried to remind him that it was all OSD's choice and that there was plenty of room for her in the second bedroom...
Nope. She'd been mistreated and left out!!! Not considered. AGAIN!!!
DH is an asshole when it
DH is an asshole when it comes to SD and cell phones.
Got her one at age 10. She loses it. Of course. Gets her another one. She breaks it. Gets her another one. She creaked the screen but it still works. I refused to let him replace it. She can use her own money to fix it. What!!! Skid can't be expected to use their own money.
He got laid off from work. I talked to him about suspending her phone (and mine) until he gets back to work. He's ok with me, the person that drives 40 minutes each way to work on the highway, not having a phone. But Dear Lord, SD13 has to have her phone. Can't suspend that one. She's got to be able to play games and listen to music. (she has no friends to text)
Yeah that is called self
Yeah that is called self absorbed little princess right there which will turn into a self absorbed adult.
Well, he could have
Well, he could have offered...but we would have both known it was just an empty offer. BM was taking him for everything at the time, including her student loans from before they were married, and he was flat broke. That's why I was so adamant that OSD understand the rules before leaving.
Now, he would totally reimburse me...and he's helped me out financially since then, of course. Thank goodness CS is almost over...