Things with SS9 are just getting worse as time goes on.
I picked Skids up from school two Friday's ago. The behavior counselor asked to speak with me. Apparently SS9 (keep in mind they have only been in school for 7 days at this point) has been
punching a filing cabinet
walking down the hall screaming he is going to kill someone because he missed PE
Laying under his desk screaming like a 2yr when he doesn't get his way
eating plastic
taking food from other kids during lunch
making kids in his class cry
started a fight on the bus, but SS was the one that ended up hurt
She asked me the same exact thing they ask us every year---what are your suggestions to stop this behavior.
I told SO all this when I got home and he grounded SS from the computer but let him use it practice school work.---which I completely didn’t agree with but not my problem
Then Wed. BM called SO and told him that SS was misbehaving the night before and she sent him to his room. Well, he wasn't having it and went into the kitchen and got a knife and said he was going to kill himself. This isn't the first time. I know of at least 4x the boy has used that as a way to get his way.
BM sent SS to school on Wed then called SO Wed afternoon to tell him about it. She wanted him to take off work and come get SS for a few days. SO told her either she deals with it or she gives custody to SO so he can deal it. Apparently BM thinks SO can just take multiple days off work whenever she snaps her fingers.
So, BM decides to take SS and have him admitted for 3 days. We met her at the facility---It’s a whole other post the way she acted while we were waiting for SS to be admitted.
The counselor spoke with SO and agreed with him that SS was pulling this because he was being a brat and trying to manipulate all of us.
We pick SS up on Saturday. It didn't faze him at all. He was his usual jerk self all weekend and of course SO let him play video games. He said because SS was being good. I guess threating to kill yourself and stressing out everyone that cares about you to the point that SO was talking about going to the ER, is considered behaving.
Two years ago SS got mad because I wouldn't let him do something (can't remember what) and threaten to take his piggy bank money and kill himself. I took the money told him it was mine now and if he needed attention, that was the wrong way to go about getting it. That was it, end of story.
But since then he was threaten to kill himself and SO & BM fall all over themselves to give him what he want's...Just in case.
I get it, who wants to take the chance the he may just do it, but giving in to him when he threatens it gives him power. I'm glad BM finally did something about it. Although, I have zero confidence it will make a difference unless BM and SO change the way they parent...Not gonna happen.
SO kept telling me that he can't believe I'm staying with him through this. I love him and honestly, besides feeling bad for SO, it doesn't bother me. Now, 2-3yrs ago, I would have been sobbing thinking about SS in that place all alone for three days.
did the counselor at the facility recommend a psychiatrist or therapist?
i tried this ONCE after many years of contemplating it but never saying a word to anyone. i grabbed the knife and started pushing it through, already broke skin by the time my father grabbed it. then he grabbed me - i broke down sobbing in his arms that i hurt so badly inside i just did not want to live anymore. then we talked, and i could see the pain on his face and in his eyes when he read me statistics of how fathers fair after a suicide of their child.
suicide has not crossed my mind since. but that's because i CARED. i knew it'd be selfish and i couldnt bear the thought of hurting him so deeply by a selfish action on my part.
most people who do commit suicide dont talk or threaten with it. seems your ss is definitely using it as a manipulation tactic, especially with the attitude upon discharge. how often does dh have him? is it 50/50, or eowe, or what? if he has him a substantial amount of time, if dh wants to help his son and step it up, maybe some of it will stick, even if bm is not on board....
The facility did recommend counseling and tomorrow is SS's first appointment. SO is going to make sure he is there with BM and SS.
I'm not an expert by any means when it comes to suicide. I've never know anyone that has done it. With that being said, I do feel like SS is doing it to manipulate. He manipulates his dad and teachers ALL the time....I'm sure BM too but I'm not around them together.
ugh, that's not very often. here's hoping bm follows through both at the therapist's and at home.... i know you dont have much confidence, but hoping is about all you can do at this point.
Call 911 and say my SS is threatening to kill himself. He wants attention, give it to him. Do it every time he threatens, it will get old for him and he will get tired of going to the hospital and being treated like a mental patient.
Comments
Things with SS9 are just
Things with SS9 are just getting worse as time goes on.
I picked Skids up from school two Friday's ago. The behavior counselor asked to speak with me. Apparently SS9 (keep in mind they have only been in school for 7 days at this point) has been
punching a filing cabinet
walking down the hall screaming he is going to kill someone because he missed PE
Laying under his desk screaming like a 2yr when he doesn't get his way
eating plastic
taking food from other kids during lunch
making kids in his class cry
started a fight on the bus, but SS was the one that ended up hurt
She asked me the same exact thing they ask us every year---what are your suggestions to stop this behavior.
I told SO all this when I got home and he grounded SS from the computer but let him use it practice school work.---which I completely didn’t agree with but not my problem
Then Wed. BM called SO and told him that SS was misbehaving the night before and she sent him to his room. Well, he wasn't having it and went into the kitchen and got a knife and said he was going to kill himself. This isn't the first time. I know of at least 4x the boy has used that as a way to get his way.
BM sent SS to school on Wed then called SO Wed afternoon to tell him about it. She wanted him to take off work and come get SS for a few days. SO told her either she deals with it or she gives custody to SO so he can deal it. Apparently BM thinks SO can just take multiple days off work whenever she snaps her fingers.
So, BM decides to take SS and have him admitted for 3 days. We met her at the facility---It’s a whole other post the way she acted while we were waiting for SS to be admitted.
The counselor spoke with SO and agreed with him that SS was pulling this because he was being a brat and trying to manipulate all of us.
We pick SS up on Saturday. It didn't faze him at all. He was his usual jerk self all weekend and of course SO let him play video games. He said because SS was being good. I guess threating to kill yourself and stressing out everyone that cares about you to the point that SO was talking about going to the ER, is considered behaving.
The kids is only 9!!! Heaven help us.
oh good god almighty....
oh good god almighty.... :O :jawdrop: :O
((((HUGGGSSSS))))
damn rip, yss is the type who
damn rip, yss is the type who *would* go ahead and do it!!!
That's where I'm
That's where I'm conflicted.
Two years ago SS got mad because I wouldn't let him do something (can't remember what) and threaten to take his piggy bank money and kill himself. I took the money told him it was mine now and if he needed attention, that was the wrong way to go about getting it. That was it, end of story.
But since then he was threaten to kill himself and SO & BM fall all over themselves to give him what he want's...Just in case.
I get it, who wants to take the chance the he may just do it, but giving in to him when he threatens it gives him power. I'm glad BM finally did something about it. Although, I have zero confidence it will make a difference unless BM and SO change the way they parent...Not gonna happen.
SO kept telling me that he
SO kept telling me that he can't believe I'm staying with him through this. I love him and honestly, besides feeling bad for SO, it doesn't bother me. Now, 2-3yrs ago, I would have been sobbing thinking about SS in that place all alone for three days.
did the counselor at the
did the counselor at the facility recommend a psychiatrist or therapist?
i tried this ONCE after many years of contemplating it but never saying a word to anyone. i grabbed the knife and started pushing it through, already broke skin by the time my father grabbed it. then he grabbed me - i broke down sobbing in his arms that i hurt so badly inside i just did not want to live anymore. then we talked, and i could see the pain on his face and in his eyes when he read me statistics of how fathers fair after a suicide of their child.
suicide has not crossed my mind since. but that's because i CARED. i knew it'd be selfish and i couldnt bear the thought of hurting him so deeply by a selfish action on my part.
most people who do commit suicide dont talk or threaten with it. seems your ss is definitely using it as a manipulation tactic, especially with the attitude upon discharge. how often does dh have him? is it 50/50, or eowe, or what? if he has him a substantial amount of time, if dh wants to help his son and step it up, maybe some of it will stick, even if bm is not on board....
We have SKids every weekend
We have SKids every weekend and every holiday.
The facility did recommend counseling and tomorrow is SS's first appointment. SO is going to make sure he is there with BM and SS.
I'm not an expert by any means when it comes to suicide. I've never know anyone that has done it. With that being said, I do feel like SS is doing it to manipulate. He manipulates his dad and teachers ALL the time....I'm sure BM too but I'm not around them together.
ugh, that's not very often.
ugh, that's not very often. here's hoping bm follows through both at the therapist's and at home.... i know you dont have much confidence, but hoping is about all you can do at this point.
Call 911 and say my SS is
Call 911 and say my SS is threatening to kill himself. He wants attention, give it to him. Do it every time he threatens, it will get old for him and he will get tired of going to the hospital and being treated like a mental patient.