Food rant
I know I'm a bit fixated on the food thing lately, but most of this preoccupation began when BM picked a fight with DH about SS and snackage.
After skype one night she was telling DH, unprompted, that she only gives him unhealthy snacks before bed (?). He offhandedly mentioned that he would want to limit SS's access to the junk all the time, which he shouldn't have done, granted... but she then went off on a crazy train about how poor she is and how she can't afford to feed her kids organic like we can.
Woman. How about you stop buying soda and crap all the damned time. You'd be amazed at how much capital that frees up! And no one is asking you to feed your kid organic. You could feed him organic and still be feeding him shit! More than two vegetables on his usual food list would be a big friggin improvement. And the only reason we CAN afford to feed our kids organic right now is because we're in California, where the shit LITERALLY grows on trees. Even when we don't buy it, we grow it in pots in our courtyard year round while we hold down our 2 full time jobs.
So don't give us this bullshit that you just can feed him healthy food because of how poor you are. You're not poor if you can afford to feed him the shit you feed him all the time. Just buying the crap you buy on a regular basis for a one night get-together for five adults would eat up my grocery bill for a week! Just OWN IT and say "Well I'm clearly okay with being a fat-ass and I feed my son accordingly. You can suck it."
Because believe me, when you call me in a month and bitch because I refuse to feed your son his "favorite snacks," that is EXACTLY what I will tell you. Suck it.
Maybe a little more calmly and eloquently though.
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Comments
Agreed, it just baffles me
Agreed, it just baffles me that she picks fights about this shit. It's not the first time. Last time it was a safety thing because she was letting SS ride a four wheeler with no protection at all at age 4. Do what you want woman, why are you telling us? Why do you need to justify your parenting to us? Don't you have friends for that? Or that new husband who is mysteriously comfortable with a kid he's known for 3 months calling him "Daddy," where the fuck is that guy?
We care what SS eats, but I'm with you. It's her friggin house, nothing to be done about it, might as well not even talk about it with her.
After all, that's part of the reason ST is here. So we can say all the things we want to say but shouldn't
Even cutting out fizzy drinks
Even cutting out fizzy drinks and letting him have water would be a big improvement. She is paying money (for a fizzy drink) for a lot of sugar and a bit of flavouring and fizz which is detrimental to teeth, weight and digestion.
Yeah, I'm not looking forward
Yeah, I'm not looking forward to what those dental visits will lead to. Sheesh.
Why in the world did she feel
Why in the world did she feel the need to justify what she gives her child? Right or wrong, it's her choice.
Parents on both ends of the food issue can go overboard.
Right or wrong it may be her
Right or wrong it may be her choice, but then by the same token, she has to accept what myspoon chooses to feed the kid on hers and her SO's time.
I've told you my story before
I've told you my story before about SS13.5 who only eats dairy and carbs. And the dairy and carbs can only be certain things. In my situation I bent over backwards to give the skids the best food possible and gotten him help. Swamp Hole has deliberately told the skids do not eat what HE5 makes, so out come the rude comments. Then DH wouldn't back me up on them eating meals before snacks etc. Plus DH will go out and buy unhealthy choices for the skids and bring that shit into the house.
It's like a cat, dog and mouse game, chasing each other in a circle....the dog chases the cat, the cat chases the mouse. I chase after DH to feed the kids healthy, DH chases SH to feed them (more like blaming her) and SH chases me (to have the skids not eat healthy).
So now, I don't chase anyone because all that running of my energy got me exhausted. When I finally stopped my contribution of the craziness, I realized no one really wanted my help in the first place. It was me acting like a responsible parent BUT I missed the point that these skids already have 2 parents and it's up to them to parent or screw them up. They're choosing to screw them up and there ain't a damn thing I can do about it
I am very lucky to have a DH
I am very lucky to have a DH who cares as much about food and nutrition as I do.
Spoon, I commend you.
Spoon, I commend you. Options, healthy options, by people who actually give a shit about something so important--such as health--is a blessing.
Don't give up, they'll eat it sooner or later & they'll thank you for it, if not love it. Skid had a bunch of health problems. His BM just had dollar frozen pizzas in the freezer for every meal if he wanted. Since he's been with us, he's grown a foot in a year. A foot! Imagine how malnourished he was?!
He still gives me crap about "his preference" & I deeply resent his novice critiquing of my cooking but I'm going to make what I normally make for me. If there's pizza in the freezer, it's my homemade pizza made with homemade dough, fresh basil etc. If there's chicken fingers in the freezer to heat up, it's not Perdue, it's organic chicken cutlets breaded in panko, ready to go. If there's mac & cheese or mashed potatoes in the fridge, it's from scratch. Now, to save myself, I convince myself I don't give a flying crap if he eats it or not. But by his growth spurt, lowered cholesterol & regular bowel movement, I know he's eating it.
And if he wants anything different...there's the fire extinguisher & pepto bismo.
Thank you! I have a feeling
Thank you! I have a feeling that tantrums aside, he will eat it. He got used to it about a week and a half in to his last visit.
There was one night that for dinner we just had a few different varieties of tasty grass-fed cheeses, some different cut fruits and some rice crackers and he LOVED it. Went on and on about how it was the best dinner he'd ever had.
So I think it's just a point of standing the ground, and making it clear that he's not getting candy, or anything I think resembles candy too much to have in my home.
The second to last day there was one more tantrum where he exclaimed "MIMI YOU NEVER CHANGE YOUR MIND EVER!"
Nope sweetheart. No I don't. Not when it comes to your meals.
BM thinks Hamburger Helper
BM thinks Hamburger Helper comes with a friend. The only hot "gourmet" dish she knows. I cringe at that.
I just don't know what other
I just don't know what other option there is. I'm not getting food just for him to keep in the house and not feed the girls. It's not happening, not while I pay the bills.