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mylife7's picture

Submitted by mylife7 on Sat, 03/13/2010 - 3:27am

I find myself wondering more and more why the hell I have to be the strong one? The understanding, patient, stern, loving, accommodating, calm, etc, etce-te-flippin-ra! I don't even know how to describe what happened tonight. I suppose I should start with what's on my mind right now. Bio daughter18. We have always had a very special relationship. I don't play favotites, she is just really easy to be around. She's easy going, can make you wet your britches with her quirky, randome humor, always helpful, academical awards out the ass, graduated early and planned to go to college this month, the first to volunteer, never bitches about chores, jumps in when she feels one of her siblings are being disrespectful. I mean she decided she was done with diapers at 9mo. and was potty trained by a year. Just like that. She never even teethed for shit sake. She has never failed at anything and is one of those people where it's effortless without stress. We have been in one..ONE argument in her entire life. Shes' mature beyond her years and has been the PERFECT child *sighs* until the past month. She bickers with everyone in the house, throws fits, does a half assed job if at all one the one thing I ask her to do three times a week. Has the "I'm 18!" tude going on. I have never seen this girl roll her eyes, and now it's with everything I say! Oh I'm sorry! Is it shitty of me to be expect to be told if school starts in the 28th but you are just NOW telling me you don't have your registration completed? Wow. Wonder why? we live in Eugene, Oregon for cryin out loud. There's a head shop every 7th block, you can figure it out. I can't even imagine what I'll do if she fucks this up because she wants to "be free for a bit Mom" Free? When she gets like that she's not even cheap much less 'free'. Yeah I'm stupid. Comes home and eats a whole apple pie and watches Pink Floyds 'the wall'. Can you believe that? Ug I'm sick of hearing myself. I feel so much pent up inside. How can one be generally happy but pissed off all of the time? It can't be normal.

Comments

TinyDancer's picture

Submitted by TinyDancer on Sat, 03/13/2010 - 7:30am

Deep breaths.... really deep breaths.... and then hand her a newspaper with a few jobs circled.
You know that she's a good kid, but, (ain't there always) she needs to act out a bit...
Job, boundaries in place, Mom with poker face, and a hand held out telling her that you'll expect
XXX amount of dollars on the table every Friday.
After all, it's what us 'grown ups' have to deal with.

And in the name of honesty, I'm a bit jealous.... I'd love to re-visit a head shop, pig out and watch
Floyd! (I'm giving both of you credit for having good taste!)

Time, and 'the look' you'll be okay.

Regards!

soverysad's picture

Submitted by soverysad on Sat, 03/13/2010 - 8:30am

She probably has 18 years of being the "good girl" wrapped up in her head. I imagine this rebellion will be short-lived BUT you need to push her out of it. Tell her fine, you can be free for awhile BUT being "free" doesn't come cheap, so get yourself a J-O-B and take on your adult responsibilities. Give her a choice. Go to school and apply yourself, which gets you free room and board OR start paying rent and for your own expenses. Let her know that no one in your home is getting a free ride.

"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"

redheaded_stepmom's picture

Submitted by redheaded_stepmom on Sat, 03/13/2010 - 8:43am

I agree with TinyDancer and soverysad. She is sewing her wild oats, so to speak. Fine, let her go out and be wild and explore this side of herself that she has never really seen before, but, like they are saying, make sure she knows it is going to come at a price. She has to get a job, help out with expenses, things like that. Don't bluff about it, mean it. If she doesn't like it, she'll have to go out on her own where she will have to do that stuff anyway. Deep cleansing breaths...know that you are a wonderful mother and that you have done all you can do to get her ready to be on her own. She's a good girl from what I can tell, she'll come around, she just needs to get this out of her system. Be there to support her and guide her as best you can, but let her know that you still have expectations and you deserve her respect no matter what. Good luck. I hope this will all work out for the best in the end.